


the other girl

by lulumae



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Bisexual AU, College AU, F/F, Fluff and Smut, LESBIAN RIGHTS, Love Triangle but not really, RuPaul's Drag Race Season 12 Ensemble - Freeform, crygi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:41:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 54,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25557514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lulumae/pseuds/lulumae
Summary: She looked up to see his deep brown eyes as he got closer to her. Her mind kept screaming: once a cheater, always a cheater. She thought back to how Gigi’s plump lips moved on her’s, how Gigi run her hand delicately all over her neck…The burning passion of payback... Payback for what? Being toyed, getting kissed by the most beautiful girl she has ever seen. How did she know she was being toyed? Have you ever seen Gigi Goode?They were now nose to nose as Matt waited with closed eyes for her permission. Crystal closed the gap, kissing him delicately. His girlfriend decided it was okay to kiss another girl, what would be the difference if he kissed one?or the one where Gigi's bf cheats on her w Crystal
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd
Comments: 147
Kudos: 138





	1. one

The muffled song, the rush, the heat radiating from the stranger she was making out with...

Crystal was feeling out of her body, feeling like she was watching herself from outside. The guy she was hungrily kissing slided his hand up her skirt, reached her waist easily owing it to the loose silk dress she was wearing. He pushed Crystal to the bathroom counter, thrusting his hips closer to her. Crystal was working on his belt when the bathroom door opened.

The most beautiful girl Crystal has ever seen was standing in the doorway, her mouth opened with shock. Her ice blue eyes pierced through Crystal and fixed on the boy she was still holding onto. It took Crystal a second to understand what was going on, she was too dumbfounded by the breathtaking honey blonde haired girl. She pushed the guy away when she remembered to breath again.

"Matt?" The girl approached them and took the very drunk guy away from just as drunk Crystal. He was just laughing like a maniac, letting the girl carry him. "Let's go before this shit spreads." She sounded too calm for someone in that position, the drunk nerves got Crystal to talk without fear.

"You're not mad at him?" Crystal called the girl she thought dated the Matt guy. She let him stand leaning to the door before turning her head to Crystal, looking up and down at her. Her eyes made Crystal feel naked, vulnerable.

"Now is not the time." She turned her head to Matt, put his arm around her neck and left with him. Crystal turned to the mirror and fixed her lent dress by scrunching up the fabric running along the seam line, making the dress shorter than it already was. She left the bathroom and went back to the pool side, making her way to the lawn where she last saw her friends on.

"Well, that was quick!" Nicky was the first one realize Crystal was already back. "He was just begging you by the pool."

"No one can be that bad, Crys," Brita, the mother figure of the girls turned from where she was sitting to take a look at Crystal. Crystal walked around and stood next to Nicky, snatched her heels offeasily and sat on the grass, forming a circle with the rest of the girls. Rock passed her a joint before she started explaining.

"His name was Matt," She inhaled on the joint deeply before passing it to Nicky, "Not the worst, not the best. Hungry kisser, probably had a big one. Seven out of ten honestly."

"What do you mean probably?" Nicky asked before passing the joint back to Rock. "Did he finish without even you seeing it?" She was already laughing before Crystal could answer.

"His girlfriend caught us." Brita almost choked on her light beer while Nicky started laughing even harder. Crystal looked over to the pool side to keep herself from laughing to continue the story, she saw Jan from one of her classes and waved at her before realizing who she was with. The blonde playing anxiously with the straw on a colorful cocktail turned around to see who the girl next to her was waving at, Crystal looked away immediately.

"You see that gorgeous woman next to Jan? That is the girlfriend." She lowered her voice and looked down like she could hear her or read her lips.

"Gigi? And she didn't gutted you?" Rock was looking over where Crystal was avoiding. She talked with a loud voice and a dumb smile on her face, making Nicky slap her hand lightly to make her look away from Gigi.

"She just said it wasn't the right time and left." Brita leaned over to pet Crystal's arm, offering some unrequited sympathy. “Brita, baby… I’m not sad, I just wanted to get laid!” Crystal almost yelled, making a few people around them turn around to check what was happening.

"Girl, just be happy you are not in an unnecessary catfight right now." Brita tried to pull her arm away but Crystal threw herself onto Brita's lap dramatically. She was still tipsy even though she sobered up a little after what went down in the bathroom.

"Fuck me then!" She saw Nicky and Rock laughing from the corner of her eye and pulled away from Brita, laughing with them. "I've been asking for an orgy for a long time now!"

"I never said no!" Crystal leaned into Rock, making a kissing gesture with her but not touching their lips together. Nicky giggled while Brita was rolling her eyes. It was weird to have Nicky around at this time of the night, she would usually dissappear halfway through parties to go to Jan’s dorm but Crystal decided not to ask. She was selfishly glad to have Nicky there with her head so confused.

"Come on indecisives, I'm taking you to your dorms." Brita got up, grabbing Crystal’s heels and helped Crystal stand up while Rock helped Nicky even though they were equally tipsy. Brita grabbed her by her waist and assisted her to the garage, Crystal made sure to turn around for a brave moment to make a _call me_ gesture to Jan. She laughed while the blonde next to her looked very annoyed.

It was the moment Crystal woke up at eight in the morning she realized why it was a bad idea to attend a party at a Sunday night. Last thing she remembered was singing along an old One Direction song, crying for no reason at all and leaning out the window far too much, making Brita grab her by dress while driving.

She leaned to her nightstand and snoozed the alarm, snatched the covers from her body to make sure she didn’t fall asleep again. The moment her feet touched the cold rug she shivered but didn’t mind it and rubbed her sleepy eyes instead. She looked over at Brita's already made bed, meaning she was long gone. Her throat was so dry, probably because of all the singing out the window, it made her cough a little. The pink waterbottle in her nightstand felt like it was glistening when she saw it from the corner of her eye, she realized the note under it right after grabbing the bottle.

_"you dumb bitch, i told you your throat would hurt xo brita"_

The water seemed like a life vest to Crystal. She drank it gladly before slipping out of the bed to take a shower, not forgetting to thank the gods for not having to share the bathroom with someone other than her roommate.

She took the shortest, coldest shower as usual and went looking for a discovery in her drawers to dress up. Clown realness was her usual choice in clothes but there was an important presantation in that day, making her settle for white, sheer and laced corset top and dark grey slouchy trousers. She paired the outfit with some short heels and tied them over the trousers. She picked her bags Brita made her prepare before the party and threw her matching blazers over her shoulders before she left the room.

Crystal walked towards the stairs but stopped halfway, in front of Nicky and Rock’s room, and knocked on their door. Rock opened the door with her pyjamas still on, Crystal never saw Rock this happy to greet her.

"My lifesaver! Come on in!" She pointed inside of the room but Crystal didn't move.

"I'm getting late, just tell me what you want me to do." Rock put on a fake offended face before waving her hand in the air to say _whatever._

"Nicky left some important sketches here but I'm five seconds away from getting late to work." She went back to the room, towards Nicky's study table and grabbed a folder.

"Do you still call making out with strangers in the library _work_?" Rock giggled along Crystal while handing her the folder.

"I do some sorting and all that in my spare time!" Crystal made a gesture, meaning _I don’t believe you_ and waved a little goodbye and left, knowing well that the said spare time was very little.

The first thing that caught Crystal's eye when she walked into the room for the presantation was the black haired girl waving her hand like a maniac from the back row, it was almost impossible to miss her. She climbed the few stairs quickly and sat down next to her, leaving her bags and blazer next to where she was seated.

"Is it your turn today?" Jan asked her, checking what she was wearing.

"That obvious?" Crystal talked while going through some of her bags, looking for the right folder.

"You didn't hear it from me but," Jan leaned in, acting like she was giving her a big secret. "You kind of look hot!" Crystal let out a scream laugh to the comment, she usually looked a mess and was harshly criticized by the fashion student sitting next to her.

"I thought Nicky was your type." Jan rolled her eyes, they both knew it was just physical between them.

"First of all, women are my type. All kinds of women," She held her pointer finger up, Crystal laughed and hit her arm jokingly. "Second of all, she is mad at me for some drunk reason we both can't remember. She insists she was right and refused to come to my dorm last night." Their conversation cut short with the proffessor walking in.

The presantation went well for Crystal, her confidence was radiating when she picked her folder and went back to her seat next to Jan. The black haired girl gave Crystal the biggest hug and congratulated her before the class was announced dismissed.

"I need to go find Nicky before her next lesson," Crystal got up, putting one of her bags over her head and holding the other in her hand. "What do you have next?"

"Oh, cute! You're coming with me then," Jan grabbed Crystal's free hand and pulled her out of the classroom, "I need to show you this new project I'm working on!"

Crystal let Jan lead the way until they reached a workshop area she hasn't been to before. She recognized Nicky standing in front of someone's sewing machine and chatting with them, walked in without paying attention to who she was talking with. After she put the folder over her face and asked "Guess who?" she realized how much of a mistake this was.

Nicky snatched the folder away from her face and turned around to embrace Crystal in a big hug.

"You’re my angel Crys!" She started showering Crystal with little kisses, making some of the students turn around and give judging looks. Not caring what anyone around her thought was their friend group's thing. Gigi was nervously watching this go down while Jan went around to stand next to her.

"Oh, you two don't know each other, right?" Jan asked looking at Gigi first and then to Crystal. Crystal turned her eyes to Gigi's but she was busy with checking her outfit out.

Crystal took a second to decide what to do, act like they didn't know each other or have an awkward moment of telling how they "met". By the look in her eyes, Crystal knew Gigi didn't want to acknowledge the situation so she held her hand out for Gigi to squeeze.

"Crystal," She said with a soft tone. Gigi looked at her hand for a second, then to her face with a confused look.

"I really don't think this is necessary." The blonde haired girl got up and walked towards a mannequin, leaving the other's behind. Jan excused herself to go check on Gigi while Nicky squeezed Crystal's arm.

"I think she knows it's not your fault." Crystal nodded slowly. Yes, she wasn't the best behaved girl but she would never mess around with a taken person. "Can you blame her for being hurt?"

"She seemed mad to me, not hurt." Nicky was about to talk but Crystal didn't let her. "Call me after you're done here so we can enjoy one last day of laying around in the field, okay?"

Crystal could barely walk in the grass with her heels on, she made it to where Brita and Rock was chatting in a long time she would rather not accept. She greeted her friends before putting her bags and a pizza box down, one she had to take herself because she was a picky vegaterian. The sun was hurting her eyes so she put her sunglasses on and took her jacket off to soak it in. Her tan shoulders and chest were glistening, making a beautiful contrast against the corset like white top she was wearing.

Nicky came along with Jan and Gigi next to her while Crystal settled in between Rock and Brita. “Hope you don’t mind me bringing company girls,” she sat down but Gigi stood confused with her white sundress, “You already know Jan. This is Gigi, all of us share most of our classes. She is our rescue puppy for the day.”

Crystal grabbed her blazer from the ground and hold it out for Gigi. She accepted the offer with a kind smile and grabbed the blazer to sit on it.

“I think I am in a class with you,” Rock said to Gigi while the rest of them was preparing the food. They went ahead and talked about the lesson for a second. Meanwhile Nicky was whining about not having wine and desperately needing it until Brita pulled a cheap bottle from her backpack.

Crystal couldn’t help feeling tense with Gigi there. She didn’t address the situation, didn’t seem like she wanted to but Crystal could see her checking her out momentarily in between conversations. Although she knew it wasn’t her fault and although Gigi looked like a big girl who could handle this herself the subject was constantly on the back of her head, feeling like a small but irritating paper cut.

Brita holding a plastic cup towards her bringed her back to the real world. She held her cup high and said “To fall,” without even thinking nor caring about the conversations she stopped. “Hope we can finally eat at a table and not on the grass!”

The rest of the girls raised their cups right after her in harmony and drank from their cups, but all Crystal could look at was Gigi. The blonde girl with the only cup that was still held low, looking right back at her with fiery eyes.

The rest of the lunch when nice for everyone but Crystal. All of them were deep into conversations after they finished eating while Crystal was laying with her elbows on the grass and her eyes closed. Even Gigi was in a conversation with Brita, talking about her roommate Jackie. A law student who got in a year after Brita, who Gigi sweared they would get along so good.

As the time got late they started leaving one by one. First Rock and Brita left, one of them heading to the library and the other to the law faculty. Then Nicky and Jan excused herself, acting like they were going to sew something for the class. Crystal sweared under her breath and showed her middle finger to Nicky while Gigi was busy with checking her phone but all Nicky did was shrug. She took a mental note to tickle Nicky until her stomach hurt.

“They aren’t going to study, are they?” Gigi turned off her phone and placed it next to where her hips meet the ground. Crystal was caught off guard but didn’t put her poker face off.

“Nope,” she said, watching Nicky and Jan walk away giggly. “Do you want to talk about last night maybe? Now that we are alone…”

“There is nothing to talk about, Crystal.” Hearing Gigi say her name made Crystal feel weird to her stomach, almost ticklish in a way.

“Is he your boyfriend? Or should I say was he?” Gigi looked taken aback with the tanned girl not caring about her sentence at al.

“He is my boyfriend, yes. Has been for the last five years.” It was Crystal’s turn to be taken aback, she lifted the sunglasses over her head and squinted to see Gigi’s expression. She was expecting to see her mad, hurt or maybe even joyful to get rid of him finally but there was no emotion showed off in the gorgeous face Gigi had. It was pure blank.

“That’s…” Crystal was at a loss for words. “So you’re not breaking up with him?”

“That’s long, I know.” Gigi completed the sentence for her. “No, I’m not breaking up with him.”

Crystal felt furious, she thought Gigi looked more mature than she was acting. She felt furious that Gigi decided to look past this not so small issue. Cheaters made her blood boil, she was cheated on before and knew it was not a cute feeling. Partners in denial were the worst and she was no one’s but herself therapist.

Crystal decided not to answer like this was some casual conversation they were having. Instead she picked up her phone when it lighted up with an e-mail notification. It was from her proffessor, about the details of her next presantation she was supposed to do with another student. She furrowed her eyebrows when she saw the name of the student: Matthew Faze.

“Any chance your Matt’s name is Matthew Faze?” Gigi froze, looking down at the grass she was picking on. She raised her head slowly and looked at Crystal’s eyes with her confused ones. “Wouldn’t you be jealous of us having to work together for a presantation? A presantation that would require us working together a lot.”

This was Crystal daring Gigi, her way of helping even though she didn’t see it as help. She looked threatened more than anything.

“I trust you,” Crystal couldn’t help letting out a nervous laughter. “You don’t seem like the girl to do that to another girl.”

“Do you trust Matt?” Crystal watched as Gigi clenched her fists and closed her eyes. She swallowed her words before getting up and grabbing some of the left over boxes from lunch.

“That is none of your bussines,” she talked with a quiet tone but Crystal heard it clearly. “He was just drunk.”

“You know that is not true!” Crystal called as Gigi walked away but the taller girl didn’t even flinch.


	2. two

The rest of the weekdays went quick with the idea of being the other woman in the back of her head keeping Crystal busy. It was clear in her art that her mind was constantly busy. Her last paintings looked rushed and the colors she used was much darker than her usual self, which made Brita worry because she had taken a psychology class that one time. Crystal made jokes about her reading more into it but knew she was fully right.

Matt and Crystal messaged a few times for the presentation and Crystal always tried to keep it strictly professional but something about him always felt off. She couldn’t help but think he was not drunk enough to forget Gigi. Who could forget Gigi?

Gigi Goode... The tall girl with the longest legs, and cutest button nose in existence and honey blonde hair that shined even in the rainiest days. Crystal couldn’t put the two together, this fierce girl and the fact that she would refuse to break up with her cheating boyfriend.

She saw Gigi a few times after Monday, eating lunch with her own friend group. Everyone around her greeted Gigi’s group, except for herself. It still felt weird to be in her presence and she was still mad at her, without a solid reason.

Crystal agreed with Matt to meet him in a coffee shop, just to work on the project that Saturday morning. She was still thinking about ways to convince her professor to change her partner walking in the shop, making the bell over the door chime and Matt’s head turn to her. He gestured her to come over to the table when their eyes met. He did nothing but it still annoyed Crystal.

“Hey!” Crystal answered the brunette boy with a nod and left the books she was carrying onto the table. A waitress arrived soon after she sat down and took their orders. As soon as she left Crystal started going through the pages of the books, finding the pages they needed to work on.

“So, contemporary arts…” Crystal started as the waitress put their drinks down, she peeled herself away from the open books to look at the boy with a smirk smile on his face.

“Oh, aren’t you eager to work miss Methyd?” Crystal laughed out of anger for him, anger that should’ve been felt by Gigi instead.

“This,” Crystal made a gesture with her hand, showing the area in between them, “is strictly professional Matthew. Is this going through your thick head or should I make you understand?”

He nodded with a smile on his face, showing how he couldn’t care less about Crystal’s anger. Crystal turned around to look outside the window with frustration on her face and someone familiar caught her eye.

Gigi was standing across the street, almost hiding behind the tree she was next to. Her hair up in a ponytail, the features of her face clearer than ever. Their eyes met momentarily, she stared deep into like they were in a stare contest. If the prize was Matt, Crystal didn’t want it. She found the situation almost funny and turned back to the books.

“Contemporary arts…” Crystal started again. They discussed a few key points of the project and assigned some parts. It took them an hour to get through the books roughly and they agreed to meet up in the library some point in the week before leaving.

They both left at the same time but went different ways, which Crystal was thankful for. She opened her orange umbrella to protect the lent books from the barely starting rain. She walked until she saw a certain blonde, sitting under the rain at a dark wood bench.

Crystal stopped a few steps away from the bench, watched the blonde girl try to light a cigarette with shaky hands from the back. There was no way she could walk pass her without being seen so she saw no point running. She approached her, took a second to watch her reaction but there was none. She took it as a positive thing and sat next to her, putting the books in her hand in between them and holding the umbrella high enough to cover them both.

Crystal watched Gigi took the cigarette to her plump lips and take a smoke, she exhaled it almost immediately. She let out a chuckle and hold her hand out to Gigi, asking for the cigarette. Crystal examined the nude lipstick left on the butt of it and took it to her mouth, covering it with her orange one.

“Didn’t know you smoked.” she said while handing it back to the blonde girl, sitting with her legs crossed but her posture showed how down she was feeling.

“I don’t prefer nicotine usually, but it was the next best thing I could find,” Gigi reached to her pocket to take out the pack of cigarettes and handed one to Crystal. “Didn’t know you smoked either.”

Crystal put it in between her lips and let Gigi light it since her other hand was occupied. “I quit a week ago.” Gigi furrowed her eyebrows and turned her head to look at Crystal who was looking down at her rain boots. Then she shrugged, it was none of her business at the end of the day.

They sat next to one another and smoked in silence. Gigi threw the cigarette on the ground when she was finished with it and crushed it with the pointy tip of her patent leather boots. Crystal and herself leaned down to grab it at the same time, she snatched it first and threw it in one of the pockets of her blue wind breaker. Then she put it on and pulled the hoodie over her head and left, without even saying goodbye.

Saturday night meant partying, getting wasted and messing around with strangers. Saturday night meant fresh air for Crystal, it meant new people, and new experiences. But that one night felt off. Standing around in her heels felt like torture, dancing with Nicky and Jan felt overwhelming.

She was having one shot after another, almost never leaving the bar, when she saw Gigi and Matt dancing. Matt still was a prize she didn’t wanted but Gigi looked particularly hot that night. Her blonde hair curled away from her face, her long legs exposed with the little black dress she was wearing, her back bare, with lots of moles that Crystal wanted to touch all over… The way she danced knowing everyone around her couldn’t take their eyes from her but Matt, the one she obviously was performing for, winked an eye towards Crystal while she downed another tequila shot.

Gigi turned around to see the way he was looking at. She never stopped dancing, instead it got more intense. She grinded up and down on her boyfriend, the guy who didn’t deserve the slightest of her affection. The ethereal looking blonde licked her top front teeth with her mouth open making Crystal feel the butterflies in her stomach go wild. In the state of perfect combination of mad and horny, she turned around to face the bar, gripping the counter with both her hands and saw a jet-black haired girl watching her from the corner of her eye.

The thoughts flashed like lightning in Crystal’s head. She could hang around the bar and her friends, miserable with the overthinking occupying her whole body or she could have a fun time with the not-so-straight looking girl who was clearly checking her out. The second one sounded more fun for sure.

“Hey speedy,” the girl gave her a smile while the bartender placed two shot glasses in front of her. She pushed one close to Crystal and picked the other one up. “To you, gorgeous.” Crystal downed the drink with her and thanked Brita in her head for making her eat before leaving.

“This gorgeous is called Crystal,” she said while putting the glass down. “And you are?”

“Dahlia.” The black-haired girl scooted closer to Crystal, placing her hand in her hip curve. She was about to say something when Crystal went ahead and got closer to her, almost closing the gap in between them. It was not smooth but they didn’t need it to be. “Oh, you really are a speedy.” She went ahead and closed the gap herself, they both got lost in the deep and hungry kiss. Dahlia’s hands went discovering Crystal’s back over her red dress while Crystal kept both of hers’ in the taller girl’s neck, deepening the kiss more and more.

“Let’s go.” Crystal grabbed Dahlia’s hand when they broke the kiss for a second, Dahlia barely found a second to grab her little bag. Crystal was grateful for having Brita’s car keys, she wanted to leave the place as soon as possible. She turned around to check Dahlia for a second but instead catch Gigi’s furious eyes, made an awful tipsy decision, and sent her a kiss.

Very few people were outside since the weather was not the best and the car was parked in a dark corner, so Crystal saw no harm in continuing there. Whatever it was that possessed her wanted everything to be done quick, telling her to rush, and rush, and rush…

“Up for kind-of-public?” Dahlia smirked before pushing Crystal against the car’s side with her hand in Crystal’s waist and kissing her with teeth involved. She made her way to Crystal’s neck with kisses and bites while Crystal found the door handle and opened it.

She grabbed Dahlia by her waist and pulled herself closer to the taller girl to open the door. She turned her around and laid her in the back seat, climbing in between her shiny thigh high boots. She held her high with one of her hands and got rid of her loose dress with the other. Dahlia worked her way on Crystal’s zipper in the back of her dress while Crystal leaned down to leave bruises on Dahlia’s tattooed chest and plump breasts.

She was almost on autopilot with her mind still at the party, thinking about the way Gigi’s hips moved. The way she licked her teeth, the angry but hot look she gave her as an answer to the kiss… Every kiss and every touch she had the blonde girl in mind. Her mind was whining inside her skull _: Gigi, Gigi, Gigi…_

Dahlia helped Crystal out of her dress and watched her fix her hair for a second before changing places with her. She smiled checking the decently sized breasts in front of her before licking Crystal’s nipple piercing on her left nipple, making the brunette let out a small moan. She busied herself with Crystal’s perky breasts, licking and biting and pulling on the steel, while her knee was pressing the groaning girl’s clit lightly. Dahlia looked up for a second to watch Crystal with her head thrown back and eyes shut close.

“You’re something.” Dahlia said out of breath, leaning closer to leave kisses on Crystal’s chin and neck.

“Fuck me already!” Crystal barely finished her sentence when the teeth in her neck made her moan lightly.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come back to my apartment?” Dahlia said, pulling her boots higher. In any given day she would accept the offer in a heartbeat, but she didn’t feel enough energetic to keep this already long sex longer.

“Sorry, I really need to go find my friends.” Crystal lied while fixing her dress in her reflection in the window.

“See you around then Crystal,” Dahlia put her bag over her head and pulled out her car keys. “You have my number, call me whenever.” Crystal gave her a goodbye kiss, running her hands through Dahlia’s hair and mumbled one last sorry to her lips. Dahlia broke the kiss, waved a little goodbye and they walked towards opposite directions.

All the drinks she had were catching up with Crystal while she was searching for the bathroom. She locked herself inside as soon as she got in and was fixing her messed up hair when she heard a knock on the door.

“Just a second!” She called and wetted her hands to run the cold water along her neck across the bite marks she had now. She checked herself one last time before opening the door and getting face to face with a sniffing Gigi. “Geege, are you okay?”

Gigi got seemingly anxious to see Crystal there. She examined the shorter girl all over, realizing how the hours she didn’t see her around was spent. She walked in and sat on the tub’s edge, tears still streaming down her face. Crystal locked the door and grabbed a few tissues, sat down on the floor on her knees just in front of Gigi.

Crystal let Gigi let it out for a second before grabbing her by the chin to pat a tissue to her face, clearing the black streams of teardrops.

“I know I have been harsh with you but,” Crystal let out a big sigh before settling on her knees and let her chin go. “, you can tell me anything. I promise I won’t judge you this time.” She put her pinky close to Gigi’s face. Gigi locked her pinky with Crystal’s and put their hands in her lap.

“I know what I am supposed to do, Crystal, I really do,” She let out a big sigh, Crystal intertwined their fingers, but Gigi didn’t respond, just let her do it. “This relationship is like an addiction. It’s not love, it used to be but not anymore.”

“I’m asking you this with the best intentions possible,” Crystal waited a second to get a reaction from Gigi but all she did was keep looking at their hands. “Why aren’t you breaking up with him then?”

“I think I’m afraid… Afraid what life is going to be like without him, afraid to be alone.” Crystal straightened up on her knees and pulled Gigi into a long hug.

“You are not and won’t be alone.” she whispered as she petted the blonde, straight hair. Crystal pulled away to face Gigi, but she wasn’t looking at her in the eye. Her eyes were glued on the brunette girl’s exposed neck as she studied all the marks and bruises.

The shaky, skinny hand of Gigi’s raised slowly to the level of Crystal’s neck. It stopped there for a moment, almost asking for permission as Crystal curiously watched her movement. She run her fingers along the bruises that was left there, quiet purple ones even though the girl in front of her had a tan skin.

“I miss this…” Gigi whispered as she raised her hand higher on Crystal’s neck until she reached her chin. The adrenaline and alcohol running together in her blood gave her the courage to raise her thumb to brush on Crystal’s lower lip. Crystal shivered with the unexpected contact, shut her eyes closed without even realizing it.

Gigi brushed Crystal’s cheek with her thumb, watching as the tanned goddess in front of her leaned more into her hand. Crystal, even though she was in another girl’s arms half an hour ago, was touch deprived. She couldn’t help herself, no one touched her with this much of passion since her last relationship.

Gigi got closer and closed the distance between their lips. She kissed but the brunette didn’t respond to the plump lips against hers’. Gigi pulled away, her eyebrows furrowed. Crystal took a moment to simmer down and opened her eyes to see Gigi’s ice blue ones, still dangerously close to her.

“You and your boyfriend, both thinking you can toy with me,” Crystal got up, holding the tub from each of Gigi’s sides. Gigi watched her carefully, not knowing what to do was eating her inside. “I know I’m kind and bubbly all the times. And, yes, I do sleep around…”

“Crystal, this is nothing like- “Crystal cut her sentence in half with a sure hand gesture.

“Don’t you dare cut me off!” She raised her voice, making the blonde jump in her place. “All of this doesn’t mean I will kiss you, and your boyfriend and act like nothing happened the rest of the time. Don’t you dare take advantage of me, Gigi Goode, you wouldn’t like the payback.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk how i feel about this ngl but i hope you like it.  
> make sure to leave a comment pls <3 see you next time!


	3. three

“Hey baby!” Crystal whispered to Rock, finding her in the “Arts&Recreation” section of the library. “Didn’t know you worked today.” Her friend turned around with an excited look on her face and gave the biggest hug.

Crystal couldn’t be more grateful for the friends she had. They knew how much being the other girl for not one, but two people bothered her and were very tender with her in the last few days. Nicky made sure to not bring Gigi with her when she was alone on Monday’s lunch this time, Brita stopped bringing Jackie to her room to study together. They were all careful around her although them coming together was inevitable.

The brunette wrapped her arms around Rock’s waist, slid her hand in from her crop, light pink sweater and caressed her back. They stood like that for a second until Rock pulled away.

“Is that enough emotional support?” Rock said jokingly. Crystal nodded excitedly with a big smile on her lips.

“Oh, was that what that is? I thought you were trying to choke me.” Crystal approached the bookshelf to pick up the book she needed whilst Rock giggled. 

“In your dreams, you kinky bitch!” She leaned against the shelf and watched the brunette look for the book. She didn’t even offer help, knowing well even Crystal could know the place better than her.

She was nervous to have another studying session with Matt and still mad at Gigi. She also didn’t know how much of the night Gigi kissed her Matt knew about, if any. She was in a triangle she didn’t belong to and was trying to avoid it as much as she could.

Rock was watching something behind her when Crystal finally got up, holding the book in her hand as if it was a trophy. She turned quickly to see Matt and Gigi whisper fighting and her joyful face turned sour in the matter of seconds.

“Why the hell is she here?” Crystal turned back to Rock, who shrugged after peeling her eyes from the couple. She couldn’t find the right words her friend needed and didn’t want to say something wrong and offend her. “Do you remember what I said about payback? Clearly Gigi doesn’t.”

“Crys, no…” Rock sounded anxious knowing it was her duty to keep her from making a bad decision. “You know you would regret it.” She tried to lean in and grab her friend’s hand, but Crystal kept the distance. Crystal thought for a second while Rock examined her, trying to understand what she was planning.

“Would I?” Crystal turned around and walked towards the couple leaving her anxious friend behind. Gigi watched the smiling girl approach them for a second before she leaned in to leave a peck on Matt’s lips and walked away.

She looked amazing, as always, Crystal thought. With the long silk dress and a belt to cinch her waist and combat boots she looked like someone Crystal would try to at least make out with. Her long hair was braided with a scarf, matching the silk her dress was made out off. How good she looked was almost annoying.

“Hey, Crys.” Crystal didn’t bother to look at Matt, instead she followed Gigi approaching a table with her eyes. She grabbed Matt by his arm and pulled him over to a close table, one that Gigi could clearly from where she was studying.

“Did you take the notes I asked you to?” She whispered while searching her backpack for her notes, eager to end the project as soon as possible.

They studied for around an hour, taking notes to put on the presentation and writing the report as they progressed. Crystal was shaking her leg the whole time. She knew the blonde a few tables away from them was checking them occasionally, like a mother looking after a child in a playground. The difference was her boyfriend was an adult she needed to trust in.

Crystal put her pencil down, leaned back on her chair and let out a yawn. The handsome guy sitting across the table put his pen down with her, leaned forward and watched Crystal with a dumb smile on his face. If Crystal had the courage, she would slap the smile out of his face that second, but she smiled back, acting like she was embarrassed to yawn like that.

“You look cute today,” Matt whispered the compliment to her. He couldn’t see Gigi from where he was seated, and he was lucky for it because when Crystal took a glance, she saw the fiery ice blue eyes locked on them. “You usually look hot.”

The hunger for revenge talked for Crystal. “Thank you, you are not so bad yourself.” Crystal’s straightened hair fell from behind her ear and she immediately felt the cliché waiting for its turn.

Matt leaned in even closer to tuck the hair behind her ear, Crystal faked a shy smile and pulled away. She pulled on the sleeves of her colorful top and went back to the books, looking for a specific information she couldn’t find anywhere. The top one of her crossed legs touched Matt’s leg accidentally, she left it there touching him.

“Do you have the book on the post internet era?” She looked at Matt with one of her eyebrows raised. He looked around for a second, even closing the book he was currently reading to check the name.

“I don’t think we picked anything for after the 2010’s.” Crystal swore under her breath. She was wearing big chunky boots and didn’t want to walk all the way back there. She made whiny noises, looking over the corridor leading down to the art section. “Stop whining, let’s go check together.”

Matt got up and offered his hand to Crystal to help her get up. Crystal was caught surprised but shrugged and grabbed the hand. She looked over to the table where Rock was sorting some of the returned books and waved to catch her attention. She made a gesture, asking her to look after their stuff when she finally caught her eyes. Rock nodded to ensure her, so she left, following the very tall guy until the very back of the shelves.

Both of them got on their knees to search the bottom shelves since the books on that section was divided mostly chronologically. Crystal picked up a book she heard from the professor and put it in between them before going back to search for more. She heard Matt leave a book on top of the one she left and turned to look at it only to catch herself an inch away from him.

She looked up to see his deep brown eyes as he got closer to her. Her mind kept screaming: _once a cheater, always a cheater._ _You would know Crystal_ , she thought to herself, _you were dumb enough to be cheated on three times_. She thought back to how Gigi’s plump lips moved on her’s, how Gigi run her hand delicately all over her neck…

The burning passion of payback. Payback for what? Being toyed, getting kissed by the most beautiful girl she has ever seen. How did she know she was being toyed? Have you ever seen Gigi Goode?

They were now nose to nose as Matt waited with closed eyes for her permission. Crystal closed the gap, kissing him delicately. His girlfriend decided it was okay to kiss another girl, what would be the difference if he kissed one?

Matt grabbed Crystal by her waist and pushed her against the bookshelf by her back. He kept one of his hands on her waist while the other one went up to her neck, feeling all over her body as it made its way up. Crystal put both of her hands on the brunette boy’s neck to deepen the kiss, there was no denying how good he was at this.

They took a second to take a break after Matt pulled away. He examined Crystal’s puffed up lips, grabbed her by her chin just like the way Gigi did to brush her bottom lip. It felt uncomfortably familiar. But this time it didn’t send shivers down her spine, it didn’t feel as affectionate as Gigi’s.

They stayed like that for the shortest time until they both turned their heads towards something shifting down the corridor in a swift motion. They could barely catch the silk dress flowing due to fast steps, but it was clear who it belonged to. Matt seemed unphased as Crystal put her hand on his chest to take him off herself.

“That was Gigi…” The realization and the unfairness of the situation hit Crystal. The stupidity of the idea of payback made her mad again, at herself this time. She got up quickly, leaving the boy down sitting on the floor.

“I don’t care, Crystal.” He whisper-called her while trying to catch her hand to make her not leave.

“I do,” Crystal run her hand through her hair and took a deep breath in. She took one last look at Matt and mumbled, “Let’s continue the work some other time.”

She left without leaving time for Matt to respond. He was too dumbfounded to follow her to Crystal’s luck. She gathered her stuff quickly and take a glance at Gigi’s table before leaving. She could feel Rock’s eyes on her back but didn’t stop to give an explanation of how dumb she was acting.

Crystal reached the fresh air in a matter of minutes and sat down in a bench. She reached her bag to pull out a pack of cigarettes and her phone. Putting a cigarette in between her teeth she opened her contacts app and found Dahlia’s name quickly. It was saved by Dahlia, with a black heart emoji next to her name which made Crystal smile.

“Fuck it.” Crystal whispered to herself and lighted the cigarette. She drew a long breathe and put it between her pointer and middle finger before clicking the call button.

“Hey?” A questioning voice came from the other end of the line.

“Hey, Dahlia. It’s Crystal,” Dahlia made a little _oh_ noise, “Are you busy?”

“For you? Never.” Crystal smiled at the phone; she couldn’t believe the affection she craved was being covered by who she thought was only a one-night stand. “Sending you the location, baby.”

Few seconds after Dahlia hung up Crystal’s phone buzzed with a notification. She took a quick glance at it and realized she probably could walk there.

Dahlia opened the door for her in black lingerie and a sheer robe. The evening was slowly approaching, and the golden hour made her look like the goddess she was. Her black hair was combed back neatly, and her lips were painted in an intriguing cherry red. She pulled Crystal in and pushed her towards the door after closing it.

One hand on her neck and the other grabbing her ass Dahlia kissed Crystal with so much passion it almost filled the emotional gap inside her. Dahlia guided Crystal towards her bedroom, almost never breaking the kiss. Crystal wasn’t the submissive type but this time it felt so good. So good to be laid down on the bed with so much care, so good to be kissed all over her body as the other girl eagerly stripped her out of her clothes.

Dahlia climbed on top of her, her legs down on Crystal’s sides, and helped her out of the colorful top. She revealed the black bralette almost matching her own and playfully bit Crystal’s breasts before taking her jeans off. She run her fingers along the seams of the matching thong, the desire between them filling the air got even denser.

Crystal threw herself next to Dahlia, panting in sync with her. Dahlia’s eyes stayed closed for a second before turning to lay on her side. She watched Crystal as she licked her fingers and leaned in to have a small kiss.

“I didn’t think I would see you again.” She reached over Crystal to her night stand and picked her pack of cigarettes up, offered one to Crystal who gladly took it.

“Me neither,” Crystal answered honestly and let Dahlia lit her cigarette. “I haven’t slept with anyone twice in a while. But…” She reached to the nightstand to grab the ash tray and put it between them. Dahlia examined her face for a second while letting the smoke out.

“Do not start with there is this girl…” Crystal cut her with a laugh, Dahlia giggled with a puzzled look on her eyes. It was always another girl, making her partners crave affection and crawl back to her.

“There is this girl. I made out with her boyfriend and she caught us.” Dahlia furrowed her eyebrows but kept listening carefully. “Then she kissed me the next week, but I got mad that this beautiful, blonde girl kissed me. Yes, I am dumb.”

“Yeah, you are dumb.” Crystal acted fake offended before telling the rest of her little twisted story.

“So, I kissed her boyfriend again today, and she saw us. I wanted her to see us, I wanted a meaningless revenge,” Crystal put the cigarette out even though she wasn’t done with it, she let herself fall on her back and examined the ceiling with empty eyes. “But Dahlia, I felt like they were playing with me, both of them… I needed to do something to know I was ahead of the game, not one of them.”

“This blonde girl- “Crystal cut eagerly.

“Gigi!”

“Gigi, quiet pretty name. So, she isn’t breaking up with him? That’s odd.” Dahlia was still on her side, watching Crystal with her curious eyes. Crystal kept looking at the ceiling, she didn’t know what to tell her. She covered her face with her hands, gently pulling on her hair. “Okay, change of subject. Crossed sex, yes or no?” Crystal bit her lower lip and turned her eyes to Dahlia as she watched her nod excitedly.

The next day Crystal left before Dahlia woke up, leaving a note on the fridge to thank her for the time she had. She was sleep deprived but at least clean thanks to the fun time they had in the shower. She couldn’t find her bra and didn’t want to wake up the black-haired girl sleeping soundly so she simply didn’t wear it. Her piercing was showing but she couldn’t care less.

She texted Nicky, desperately needing to talk with someone, who told her she would be in the workshop after eating breakfast, so she went there. A sewing machine was heard from outside the door although it was very early in the morning, she got in thinking it was Nicky.

The blonde girl on the machine raised her head up to see her new company when she heard the door open. She clenched her fists with the view of Crystal, wearing the outfit she was wearing yesterday.

“Oh, you fucked him then. Congratulations, Crys.” Crystal rolled her eyes as Gigi pulled out the half-finished garment from the machine. She got up and pulled it over the mannequin, took a step back to analyze the changes she needed to make.

“I’m sorry.” Gigi certainly wasn’t expecting an apology, she pushed the pin through her finger in the state of shock and hissed between her teeth to the pain. Crystal approached her quickly and watched Gigi suck on the finger.

“For fucking my boyfriend?” She finally said after putting the pins down on the table. As much as she tried to mock the situation and Crystal, her voice revealed how hurt she was.

“I didn’t fuck him, Geege,” Crystal walked a few steps away from Gigi and leaned to one of the tables. Her arms were crossed in a defensive way, she kept her head down. “Why, would you break up with him if I did?”

Gigi was picking up the pin cushion when she heard the last sentence. She hesitated, picked it up but didn’t approach the mannequin. She stood awkwardly, looking down at it. Crystal got curious and turned her head towards Gigi to see her motionless. It was odd, Crystal thought, she reacted more to the breaking up question when there was a possibility of her boyfriend cheating a step further.

“That is not the point!” Gigi said when she finally talked. She locked her ice blue eyes with Crystal’s ones like she was looking for answers to her questions there.

“Then what is?” Crystal watched as Gigi stumbled and mumbled, not forming a full sentence.

“Why do you care this much? Go kiss him, I don’t care. This will pass for us.” Crystal ran her hand through her hair furiously and got even more furious when her locks tangled in between her fingers.

“At the beginning of 2019, on the day of our two-year anniversary I caught my girlfriend cheating. I thought we could keep going, we could get over it because we loved each other. Gigi, I thought I was the main girl. I was her two-year long girlfriend, I had to be,” she let out a big sigh, it was a while since she last talked about April. “Whatever, that is not the point. This experience shattered me completely, I thought I was okay for the longest time until I had a breakdown over a photo. It shattered my confidence, my ability to trust… I was paranoid, I still am paranoid. The question of not being genuine when someone expresses their feelings to me is always on the back of my mind. So, let it go, I wish I did the first time I caught her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was bored enough to write more so here it is! This one kind of has A LOT of jumps but I didn't want to keep it too long. Hope you like it!


	4. four

2019, 13th of January

A brunette woman was sniffling while carrying a box that looked too big for her skinny arms. It was almost four in the morning, slightly raining. The air smelled like earth, a scent Crystal would appreciate any other day.

“Cryssie, baby, we can find a way to get through this.” A black-haired and pale-skinned woman called Crystal as she left the building. She stopped and put the box down, not caring about it getting damp.

“Do not call me that, April,” The shorter woman said between her teeth before turning to her now ex-girlfriend. “Is this a joke to you? Am I a joke to you? I have heard that sentence twice now; I’m not going through this again.” April walked closer and tried to hold her arm, but Crystal pulled back immediately.

“This is different, she broke up with me.” Crystal stood there and laughed until her stomach hurt. In the middle of a street, her hair frizzy with the drizzling rain and her eyes filled with tears, she laughed and laughed until she started sobbing. It felt cold even though she was wearing a big, cozy jacket. The world felt cold.

“I can’t believe I’m the other girl for you, your two-year-long relationship is the second choice.” Crystal grabbed the box and left, sobbing as she walked away. She was always a crybaby but this one, it hurt different. Not being cheated on but forgiving April for it hurt different. She felt stupid, vulnerable, and manipulated. She felt like an idiot for still loving April like it was the first day they’ve met; she felt like an idiot for leaving out of pride and not the suffering she has been going through.

Crystal was well for a month or so. She enjoyed the single life, went on a couple of dates, spent more time with her friends… She convinced herself: she was okay. Until one day, when she was scrolling through Instagram and saw April and her new girlfriend. The girl she got cheated on with was holding April’s hand, her April’s hand, and was looking deep into her eyes. They looked like how Crystal and April looked like when they were happy.

Crystal got up, her whole body shaking. Tears were streaming down her face before she could realize it. She cursed herself for not listening to Brita about unfollowing her. She cursed herself for not making it work. Was there something she could do differently? Crystal was convinced it was her fault. It was her who wasn’t enough, she kept saying to herself.

The room was a mess soon enough. Blankets all over the place, a couple of broken glasses and herself sitting in the middle of the mess, feeling smaller than ever. She was hugging herself when Brita found her sobbing on the floor. She kneeled next to her, dropping her bags immediately

“It’s okay, baby,” Brita said while embracing her in a hug, “Let it out, let it all out.” She whispered petting her curly hair.

Then started the dread, the depression. She almost failed her classes, unable to study or create art. Whenever they went looking for her, she was in the room, under her covers, and watching a horror movie. Then started the medications and self-hatred, a hatred she never felt so deep before. 

~~~~~

Crystal managed to avoid Gigi for two weeks even though their friend group was together almost every day. She saw Jackie almost every night when she and Brita studied in their room, although Gigi and Jackie’s were so much bigger. She saw Jaida, Jan’s roommate, whenever Nicky and Jan occupied their room and she had time to kill.

The three J’s, as Crystal liked to call them, never brought up Gigi around her which she was thankful for. All of them knew they couldn't avoid each other but acted their best to act the fool.

Although the idea of being the other girl for their close friend’s boyfriend made her paranoid, Crystal tried to let it go. She avoided Gigi with all the willpower she could possess and finished the rest of the presentation mostly herself. She tried everything to get out of the “love triangle” but it was impossible with the newly emerging group.

Crystal learned from Nicky, who learned from Jan who could never keep a secret, that Gigi and Matt were working on their relationship. She protested, talking about how she never wanted to hear anything about the two of them but listened carefully to understand Gigi’s mentality. 

Did she feel trapped? Did she feel paranoid? Did she hate Crystal now? Did she, did she, did she… The girl was a maze Crystal didn’t want to get stuck in, but she was way too deep inside to realize the maze grew around her. It was not something to solve, it was something to live through.

It was a Friday, and Jan was excitedly planning a girl’s night in. Crystal said she wouldn’t mind being around Gigi, but she did. She did so much that the first place she went to was Dahlia’s small apartment, looking for comfort she couldn’t find in anybody else.

All the passionate sex with no connections but friendship was good for her. The jet-black-haired girl Crystal would never think she would be friends with was good for her. Dahlia was honest, open like a book. She was someone who would say anything straight up, there were no games with her.

Crystal rushed to her room to take a quick shower before leaving for Jackie and Gigi’s room, which everyone who has been there claimed to be the biggest dorm room in existence. She dressed up in her straight-legged baby blue pajama bottoms and a white crop-top and let Brita brush her curls carefully. She let them air dry and they both left to go to the top level of the building, running into Jan and Rock on the way who were carrying different kinds of booze.

Jackie welcomed them to the room with a smile on her face and the big glasses Crystal found adorable. It was not as big as the others claimed it to be, but it had enough floor space for all the girls to be seated, which was still a lot. Jaida and Jan were already there, setting up all kinds of glasses for all the drinks. Gigi was near the small balcony the room had, half opening the door, but stopped to hug and welcome the new incomers. All Crystal received was a kind smile, as she expected.

“Okay, here's the first round of the night!” Jan excitedly called, holding a tray of shot glasses.

“To surviving the upcoming finals!” Jaida exclaimed making the rest of the girls groan. The drinks kept on coming from that point on. It wasn’t characteristic for Crystal to be quiet, but she was that night, she barely talked until they started playing “never have I ever”

“Okay, for the gays and indecisives of us,” Brita started, using her self-made way of saying bisexual, making Crystal raise her glass for herself. “Never have I ever wanted to sleep with someone in this room.” Jan and Nicky drank, Jackie drank too but Crystal’s eye was caught on Gigi while drinking. She took a sip and shrugged when Jaida called her out, making the rest of them laugh and Crystal uncomfortable.

“Never have I ever had a nipple piercing!” Rock talked while looking at Crystal, earning herself an eye-roll.

“Oh, fuck you!” Crystal took a sip, making her new friends gasp. She was way too comfortable around her friends, so they knew already.

“You have to show us!” Jan insisted, Crystal looked at Brita, her self-claimed mom, who gave her a shrug. She sighed and set her glass down on the floor.

“I am already done with this game,” she said before flashing her boobs to the curiously looking girls. “The best boobs you will ever see, I know!” Jaida held onto her boobs, acting offended and making Crystal laugh before pulling her crop-top down.

“Never have I ever had a hard time understanding Nicky,” Nicky pulled the conversation away from Crystal and made all of them take a sip. “You bastards!” The French girl mumbled madly while the others laughed.

“Okay, okay… My turn,” Jaida barely talked in between her laughter. “Never have I ever cheated on someone.” Crystal played with the rim of her glass, looking down the whole time but could see Gigi drink from the corner of her eye. They interrogated Rock for a while, the other one who drank, and she defended herself with “ _cheating back”_ and not just cheating out of nowhere.

“Never have I ever got cheated on.” Jan recklessly continued the question. Crystal downed her drink at once and got up from the floor, not looking at the others to see who else was drinking.

“Can I borrow this?” She pointed at the cardigan hanged in the rack behind the door, Jackie looked over to Gigi with questioning eyes making Crystal regret the question. “Never mind then.”

She grabbed her pack of cigarettes and lighter and approached the balcony. It was small, could barely fit two people, but it was a balcony, nevertheless. A shiver went through her body, she didn’t mind and pulled out a cigarette. She was lighting it with shaky hand when the door behind her opened and someone left an article of cozy clothing on her shoulders.

“Hey,” The blonde with her hair up greeted the brunette and stood beside her, mirroring the way she leaned on the iron bars of the balcony. “Your hair is still damp; you might get sick.”

“Gigi, I don’t need you to act like you care.” Crystal defended herself, not turning her head to see the taller girl. Gigi took a deep breath in as they both examined the lights of the other buildings around them. Crystal offered her a cigarette, she almost snatched it from her hand and lighted it quickly.

“I truly wish I didn’t care.” An awkward silence filled the cold air as they smoked. 

“How are things?” Gigi shrugged to the question. She looked like she couldn’t care any less but still was holding on to the relationship.

“Not the same.” She cut it short, Crystal couldn’t bear to hear a lot anyways.

"Why did you kiss me?" Gigi turned her head to Crystal, examined her before answering the unexpected question. “Curious about girls? Wanted to see what Matt saw in me? Why was it?”

“Let’s say mixed feelings,” Gigi said, letting the smoke out towards Crystal. “Why did you kiss him?”

“Mixed feelings.” Crystal answered simply. She knew to keep the things civil in order to at least be able to face each other.

“No regrets,” Gigi mumbled but Crystal didn’t hear it. She kept watching outside, snuggling in the cardigan more. It had a distinct lavender smell, she imagined Gigi to smell the same.

“Does Matt know you kissed me?” Crystal put the cigarette out and turned to Gigi. She took the opportunity and examined her beautiful face thoroughly. Her plump lips that once covered her’s, her cute nose, her sharp jawline… The way she bit her lower lip nervously, looking down at the cigarette she held in between her fingers gave the response away rather quickly. “That is my answer I guess.”

The girls were still where Crystal left them when she stepped back inside. She sat in between Rock and Jackie again, crossed her legs, and didn’t mind the now showing nipples and the piercing under her top. She caught the apologetic eyes of Jan and blow a little kiss to her to show she didn’t care. Gigi came back a few seconds after her and then they continued the game they started when Crystal and Gigi were outside. Brita turned the empty bottle and it landed on Crystal.

“Truth or dare, Crys?” Crystal took a sip from her drink someone poured for her when she was out and thought for a second.

“You know everything about me so, dare, I guess.” Brita took a second to think about a question and her face lighted up when she finally found one.

“Show us your last received message, no cheating.” Crystal laughed and pulled her phone out; Brita was obviously waiting for a sext and she wasn’t too far off. There was a notification from Dahlia and an image attached to the message she sent. She put her phone out for everyone to see it and opened it up. A picture of her and Dahlia came up on the screen, in her bed, and both nude where you could see in the picture.

“I kind of look cute!” Crystal exclaimed and examined herself. She was smiling big with her teeth showing and her tongue bitten trying to not laugh, her hair was tossed to one side leaving her shoulder open. Dahlia was looking as stunning as ever with her hair down on her shoulders, covering her tattoos a bit and smiling just like Crystal.

“ _I told you, you have afterglow!”_ Rock read Dahlia’s message out loud and groaned. “Too much, too much!” She whined making Crystal shyly laugh before pulling her phone back to reply with a kissy face. Crystal failed to realize the only one not laughing along was Gigi Goode.

Jaida turned the bottle this time and it landed on Rock. “Okay, I’ve been wanting to ask this for a long while, but I didn’t want to come off as rude!” They all waited with their puzzled looks on Jaida. “Is Rock your real freaking name?”

Rock let out the biggest laugh alongside with Crystal. She was responsible for the nickname and was laughing thinking of the reason for it. “This idiot gave that nickname to me almost the second we met!” She gestured towards Crystal. “My name is Sakura! When I was showing a childhood picture of myself to a friend, she jumped in the conversation to say I looked like Rock as in Dwayne Johnson from that one picture of his no one knew about!” She was referring to one of his youth pictures and the pictures were uncomfortably similar.

“But you did! And look at us now, that picture made us friends.” Crystal defended herself, making Rock scowl.

“You just wanted me to have a stupid name like yourself!” Jaida and Jackie were confused while the others laughed.

“Jaida and Jackie… You see, my parents' first language isn’t English, and they didn’t see a problem with the name Crystal Methyd.” Crystal explained with a serious attitude but her high tone was making it funnier than she tended it to be.

“Crystal Elizabeth Methyd!” Nicky exclaimed with her tipsy laugh, emphasizing the word Elizabeth.

“Oh, shut up Nicolette Doll!” Crystal mocked Nicky’s accent, exaggerating the way she talked. Jackie grabbed the bottle, at that point, no one knew who was spinning when. She spun it and it landed on Brita.

“Truth or dare, mother of dorm 503,” Jackie asked while Brita was loudly sucking on her straw.

“Dare because you coward bitches could never!” Brita finally exclaimed, putting the cup down. Then they kept playing, probably making the other people living on the floor uncomfortable but enjoying the time before they needed to study for a week straight.

Crystal caught Gigi’s eyes, who was standing in the doorway looking for someone when she was painting in one of the studios of the school. She put her brush down and cleaned her hand on the already paint-stained shirt she was wearing before taking one of her earphones off and waved towards the girl to greet. She thought it would be awkward not to but didn’t expect Gigi to approach her.

“Hey, Crys!” She seemed happier than usual. _Good for her_ , Crystal thought. “Have you seen Jan?” 

“No, but she told me she would come. Wait here if you want.” Crystal gestured towards the stool she placed her palette on. Gigi raised one of her eyebrows, making Crystal realize the awkwardness of it all and grab the palette back. She returned to the canvas but couldn’t give her mind to it. Who could on a Monday morning?

“Why didn’t you sleep with us on Friday night?” Crystal furrowed her eyebrows to the question but didn’t turn towards Gigi.

“I couldn’t sleep so I left.” Crystal shrugged. It was such a casual question like nothing ever happened between them. She was about to continue before she saw Laura walk through the door.

She froze, her little working smile faded from her face. How could she never see the girl she got cheated on with on the campus? She was younger so it made sense to not see her before the year but it was a while into the semester. Crystal was caught off guard, a guard she desperately needed at that moment. She flinched with Gigi touching her arm.

“What’s wrong?” She almost whispered to Crystal, who looked shaken.

“The platinum blonde that just walked in is the girl I got cheated on with,” Gigi looked over Crystal’s shoulder to see the girl and frowned to what she saw. “What?”

“You are way prettier,” Gigi said, still following the girl with her eyes. Crystal felt her stomach and swallowed hard. “She can’t see you looking like you just saw a ghost. Keep working, come on.” She placed her hand on Crystal’s chin in a familiar motion and brushed for a second, giving a reassuring smile.

“I haven’t seen any of them in months.” Crystal mumbled and turned to the canvas, picked up her brush but was unable to work. She tried for a few clumsy seconds, dropped her tube of paint, and reached down for it while Gigi pulled her stool closer to Crystal’s.

The taller girl waited for Crystal to pick the tube up and place it. Then she waited until she continued her work to wrap her long arms around brunette’s waist, placed her chin on her shoulder like it was any other day activity for them.

“Let’s show them your pretty girlfriend and how happy you are,” Gigi whispered to Crystal’s ear. It was a little, silly game they probably shouldn’t be playing. It was dangerous for Gigi’s relationship which was a mess anyway. Crystal went along with it and scooted backward to lean on Gigi more. The lavender scent filled the air as she got closer, as Crystal expected. “Hope your girlfriend wouldn’t mind.”

“You mean Dahlia?” Crystal said, turning her head to the side where Gigi’s head rested. “She is a friend.”

Gigi let out the breath she has been holding in, making Crystal shiver. “I don’t fuck my friends.” She giggled on Crystal’s ear. Crystal couldn’t see how relieved she looked, she couldn’t understand why if she did anyways.

“You should try, it’s really fun!”

“Are we friends?” Crystal let out a laughter to the question, earning a few dirty looks from the few people working around her.

“I’m not fucking you, Miss Mixed Feelings.” Gigi smiled big and scooted a bit away, guided Crystal to turn to her side to see her better.

“At least I tried!” Gigi held Crystal’s hand and placed the other hand just above her waist, pulling her closer as she joked around. It felt familiar, comfortable to Crystal; like it was the norm for them.

“You smell nice,” Crystal said as she rested her head on Gigi’s shoulder. “Lavender?”

“Okay, are you a puppy? The looks, the smelling ability… It just makes sense!” Crystal slapped her arm lightly as Gigi acted like she was hurt.

“She is giving you very mad looks right now. Why would she even care, I just needed her to talk about us to her girlfriend.” Gigi talked after looking behind Crystal, making her remember the real reason of the affection. She tried not to mind it and leaned closer to the blonde.

“Can I give you a little peck?” Crystal asked before her slender nose touched Gigi’s button one. It was risky but Crystal asked anyways. Gigi pulled away for a few seconds and thought.

“Crys…” Crystal already knew the answer. She looked down at her paint-stained hands with embarrassment filling her heart in. Her eyes almost filled with tears but she managed to hold it in. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Gigi spoke soft, it felt like they reversed roles.

Gigi confused Crystal so much it made her feel sick. She felt affectionate and cold, she felt warm and distanced. She was everything at once, and Crystal could barely figure it out without the boyfriend figure in the picture. When she counted Matthew in she had no idea what any of them were doing.

Jan finally came by and Crystal started packing up as soon as she greeted them. All she wanted to do was leave. Leave the day behind her, rant to her friends, and forget about Gigi as she moaned under another girl. Gigi leaned down to her while Jan was busy gathering her supplies.

“Friends?” She said with a little smile on her face.

“Friends.” Crystal said, not showing how unsure she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chap is the definition of the "filler chap"


	5. five

Finals went ahead as quickly as they came by. Crystal didn’t have much time to see her newly deemed friend with so much going on for both of them but heard from Jan in the class how she was excelling at everything she did. It made her happy to know, happy for her friend and nothing more.

Saturday morning, when Crystal was alone and blasting One Direction whilst painting something for herself finally, she received a text from a number she didn’t have registered.

xxx: i can fully hear that, Crys

She furrowed her eyebrows as she asked who the number belonged to even though she had a certain blonde living right upstairs in mind.

xxx: the one and only Genevieve Goode, duh

Gigi: are you coming out with us tonight?

Jan asked Crystal, as the organizer of the group, if she wanted to come to a party that night but Crystal declined claiming to need some time alone. Of course, it wasn’t because she knew Gigi would be there with her boyfriend, she would never think that.

Crys: i have plans with Dahlia, sorry ://

Gigi: she can come along too! come on, i’ll get you all dolled up for her

Crystal couldn’t help but blush with the idea of getting ready with Gigi but the ‘for her’ part stung like a needle. She asked Dahlia if she would want to come, even though the plan part was a lie. When she accepted, she had no reason to say no. The little, impulsive devil on her shoulder accepted the offer for getting ready together and planned to meet Gigi in her room later that day.

Her piece turned into a lavender focused one soon enough with the blonde busying her mind. She counted the time through the rock songs she switched to. Not being able to wait for the time to come felt so wrong but feelings were not things Crystal could manage easily.

Crystal left the room very early since Gigi promised to do everything for her, even lent her a dress of her’s she thought would look good on Crystal. She took her little makeup bag and went upstairs in her paint stained shirt and pajama shorts only. She knocked on the dorm room 605’s door expecting Jackie to be also there but realized they were alone when a smiley Gigi held the door open for her as she made her way inside.

“I have the cutest dress; you will love it!” Gigi said before holding Crystal’s wrist to pull her inside. Crystal followed with a little, pleasant smile on her face saw two dresses laid on Gigi’s bed. “They are kind of coordinating because I made them to practice.”

One of the dresses was a strapless, black velvet with a straight neck cut while the other was a cross strapped, red velvet one with a heart neckline(?). They both looked very professionally done, something Crystal would see on the models online.

“Gigi, they are both stunning!” Crystal made Gigi’s cheeks flush with rosy pink with her comment.

“Try the one you like so I can alter it for you.” She gestured towards the bed, but Crystal hesitated to approach the almost matching dresses.

“Are you sure? I would be fine as the way it is.” Crystal grabbed the black one delicately and examined it with adoring eyes. It felt overwhelming to Gigi, her little creation was liked by someone she valued so much.

“I’ll just hand stitch it, I can reverse it later.” Crystal kept watching the dress as Gigi watched her with a big smile on her face. She finally accepted the defeat and put the dress down, turned around as she unbuttoned her shirt. Gigi turned around the same time as her, giving her privacy to change.

Both of the girls looked past the tension filling the room as Crystal left her shirt on Gigi’s bed. She undid the zipper and slip into the dress with ease while she could here Gigi shuffling in the back as she grabbed her pin cushion.

“Could you…” Gigi approached her before Crystal could finish the sentence. She placed one of her hands on Crystal’s bare back and leaned a little bit to zip her up. Her hair thrown back over her shoulders fell front as she did it, Crystal shivered with the strands of hair touching her back. “Thank you.” Crystal mumbled as Gigi turned her around to check the dress.

Gigi placed a needle in between her teeth as she pinched the dress from her sides where it felt loose. Crystal watched her concentrated look with a soft one on her light brown eyes. Gigi straightened up and took Crystal’s curly hair away from her chest as her hand brushed over her shoulders.

“Is that a bralette?” Crystal hummed as a response and Gigi smiled, looking into her eyes this time. It took both of them a second to realize how close they were standing. They blushed as Gigi turned away and walked towards her table and Crystal stood awkwardly. “Yeah, uhm… You can take it off but be careful.”

Crystal carefully took it off, barely being able to unzip it without Gigi’s help but felt too embarrassed to ask for it. She wore her shorts and shirt again, buttoning very little whilst leaving her black bralette visible mostly. Gigi grabbed the dress and sat on the big, round ottoman placed in front of the shared vanity mirror, which Crystal assumed was occupied by Gigi mostly. Crystal sat on the blonde’s bed and crossed her legs, watching the blonde work with concentration.

“Where’s Jackie?”

Gigi answered without looking up from the dress. “Studying to make up for the night. She still has a few exams to go.”

Crystal’s phone she left on the vanity table lighted up with a notification as she excused herself to use the bathroom to try to get rid of a few left-over stains on her forearm she missed. Gigi tried not to look at it but failed miserably. She read the message from the girl saved with a black heart, realizing the unopened message below with her name on it, simply put as _Gigi._

Lia: Can’t wait to fuck you with my new strap-on tonight (1 image attached)

Lia: You’ll love it goddess

The message was ended with a kissing emoji. Gigi looked away in embarrassment mixed with jealousy engraved on her face with her cheeks so red. Crystal talked while reentering the room, making Gigi get startled with her soft, high tone.

“Have you seen my phone?” Gigi gestured towards the table; Crystal grabbed it before going over to the bed again. Seeing Crystal lay on her bed, shirt barely buttoned and her curly hair all messy made Gigi feel in a way she couldn’t understand fully. She has been attracted to women before, that wasn’t news, but with Crystal it was all so complicated. Gigi watched Crystal answer the message while biting on her bottom lip, certain about the jealousy she had this time.

“Could you try it one more time?” Gigi asked, holding the dress out for Crystal.

“Ugh, if you insist!” Crystal fake whined before grabbing the dress. She left the bralette on the bed this time and let the beautiful dress hug her chest tightly. Gigi zipped her as she examined herself in the mirror, obviously loving what she saw. It was a while since she liked herself this much and she loved the feeling. “Please, Gigi, don’t make me take it off!”

Gigi laughed as she reached for the red dress to wear it herself. She got rid of her sweatpants and put the dress on all in swift motions and stood behind Crystal soon enough. “Aren’t we cute?” She exclaimed, none of them realized the emphasis on the _‘we’_. They took a few silly pics, all dressed up but bare faced on the mirror before Gigi decided it was time to work her way through the curly hair.

Gigi guided Crystal to the ottoman she sat on before and grabbed a brush alongside of a few hair clips as the brunette settled.

“I love your hair,” Gigi mumbled as she parted the hair to straighten it. “You take such good care of it.” Crystal’s tan skin helped conceal her blushing as she handed Gigi the oil for her hair she brought with her.

“Thank you!” Crystal’s high tone sounded so cute, so mellow to Gigi. She smiled to her from the mirror, but Crystal missed it while checking her phone. “April just messaged me.”

April: Can we talk Cryssie? 

She held the phone out for Gigi to read. Gigi took a quick glance and her face turned sour as she went back to straightening the hair. “Cryssie? Cheesy much?” Crystal giggled and put the phone down, facing downwards. “Won’t you answer?”

“No, I won’t. My life is so much better without her toxicity, I don’t need this right now.” Crystal said with a serious look on her face. She meant it; she was certain this time. If this was before she met Gigi, she would answer the second she saw it, now it was different. The blonde girl made her more decisive and less desperate without even realizing it.

“Of course you don’t need it, you have a beautiful girlfriend now!” Gigi pointed at herself with her free hand and made Crystal smile big.

“You wish, Genevieve!” Crystal joked, making Gigi roll her eyes.

“I have a hot straightener on my hand, do you really want to make fun of my name?” She clicked the straightener a few times, showing it off to Crystal from the mirror.

“That, and also I don’t get to make fun of anyone’s name with mine!” Gigi pulled the hot metal away to not burn Crystal and they laughed in unison

It took them almost an hour to get through Crystal’s hair as they joked around with each other. This newly founded friendship felt easy for both of them, familiar in a way they couldn’t point out. Crystal deep down wished it was something more, wished it to be some lighthearted flirting but Matthew Faze was still in the equation.

The kiss they shared, the little touches Gigi felt comfortable with giving anytime, the little girlfriend act they put together… It was a mess, a beautiful mess Crystal almost enjoyed because Gigi Goode was in it with her. Crystal’s mind was just as big of a mess, thinking back to every time both parts of the couple flirted or kissed her.

Gigi turned around to Crystal’s front side to take a look at her creation. Crystal watched her hair with adoring eyes as Gigi did the same for her.

“Come on, make up time!” Gigi exclaimed before applauding in an excited way.

“Do your makeup while I do mine.” Crystal reached out for her make up bag as Gigi unplugged the straightener. Her makeup routine consisted of some concealer, a little mascara and lipstick only. Gigi brushed her long hair as she watched Crystal apply concealer with her fingertips in horror.

“Oh, I’m not allowing that!” Gigi said while grabbing a sponge to hand out to Crystal. She shoved it back with her hand, making Gigi act offended. “How dare you?” She screamed out as Crystal laughed.

“Geeg I hate that stuff!” She completed the blending with her ring fingers as she talked. Crystal pulled back as she realized Gigi was attacking her with a brush.

“Just a little eyeshadow, please!” She stretched out the ‘please’ as she grabbed a palette from the drawer. Crystal giggled and leaned back on the big ottoman, watching Gigi grab a smaller brush to pick up brown eyeshadow.

They struggled for a while as Crystal leaned until she completely laid to avoid the brush and Gigi leaned back with her. Their laughters were mixed, Crystal mostly laughing because she was very ticklish. Gigi rid her dress up before even realizing it, planning to pin Crystal down by climbing on top of her. Crystal swallowed hard as she realized the taller girl placing on top of her, elbows down on both her sides.

Crystal stopped laughing but her big smile didn’t fade. She let Gigi put the brown eyeshadow on with closed eyes. Their breaths were tangled as she did the eye look, standing so close to her face. Gigi straightened up on her hands to take a look at the placement of it. She realized her position then and blushed.

Gigi expected Crystal to pull back, look away at least. Crystal expected Gigi to get up but neither of them did the expected. Both of them wanted to kiss each other, cover the other’s lips hungrily but neither of them had the courage. All they could do was look deep into each other’s eyes as their shaky breaths mixed.

Gigi leaned back in, even more this time as the bare parts of their chests touched and finished the eye looks. “Done! You’ll love it!” Gigi got up finally, leaving a cold feeling over Crystal. She took a second to get over the heated moment before sitting straight. Gigi watched as Crystal adored her creation. It was a simple look, a brown smokey eye with glittery highlighter on the lid but it looked like it was professionally done.

“Is there anything you can’t do?” Gigi smiled as she thought _‘you’_ and found it hilarious but didn’t tell the brunette. She grabbed a clean brush to start her own makeup.

“I’ll head to my room to grab my heels,” Crystal looked up from her phone after she checked the time and looked at the concentrated girl. “See you there, Genevieve.” Gigi rolled her eyes playfully as the shorter girl giggled before grabbing her belongings. She plopped on the ottoman as soon as Crystal left, looking defeated over her feelings.

Matthew wasn’t the guy she fell in love with five years ago, not the guy she loved all along those years. She knew the cheating was supposed to be a wakeup call, one of his twisted games as usual, but this time the game didn’t feel as awakening as it did before. She held onto the relationship with all the willpower she had, to hold a certain brunette who turned her down before away from Matt. To keep them apart and have Crystal only to herself hopefully.

The jealousy hurt. The jealousy that was supposed to be about her boyfriend but wasn’t hurt.

Crystal, Brita, Rock, and Nicky arrived at the party a little later than the others because Rock and Nicky were busy fighting over the messiness of their room, telling on each other for several minutes to Crystal and Brita. Crystal throw on large netted fish nets with a pair of high heels and a big puffer jacket that didn’t belong to the outfit and was destined to be left alone in the car.

Dahlia was waiting by the door as she texted her. It was better to greet the group of girls outside in a calmer place, where they could hear each other. She grinned when she saw Crystal and embraced her in a hug and whispered as she let go.

“You look so fucking hot…” Crystal only answered with a smile and stood beside Dahlia, facing her friends.

“Girls, this is Dahlia,” she gestured towards the black-haired girl, holding on to her waist. “, and Lia, these are the headaches I always complain about.” Nicky rolled her eyes as the other’s giggled. They greeted each other, exchanged a few compliments, and went in to meet with the rest of the group.

Seeing Gigi with Matt’s arm wrapped around her waist felt like a dagger to Crystal’s heart. She snuggled closer to Dahlia, looking for comfort as she felt the tulle’s texture under her hand grabbing a little too tight. The three J’s were looking stunning, especially Jaida with her long, defined legs almost fully in the view but Crystal could only care about the G of the group. Wearing another version of the dress she had on, looking so soft but so fierce while she giggled next to her boyfriend’s ear.

They started the night quickly with rounds of shots, even Brita drinking as she already planned to leave her car there. First Gigi left, dragging Matt with her to dance. Then Nicky and Rock followed to make people uncomfortable with their twerking and silly dancing. Crystal tried to take Dahlia, but she gestured to her cocktail and stayed to talk with Jaida.

Crystal danced her mind off, finally relaxing for a bit. The song Don’t Trust Me started as she was being silly with Rock. They both had a realization moment, an overly dramatic one as the song went “ _black dress, with the tights underneath”_ like she was the only one with a little black dress there. Her eyes were on Gigi as she mouthed along the song when it went _“tell your boyfriend, that I’m a vegetarian and I’m not scared of beef”_ and her eyes were on Crystal’s too. She laughed, thinking it was just a joke about Crystal being a vegetarian and pulled her closer It was kind of awkward, but they were _friends_ after all, it should’ve felt normal.

Crystal danced like a maniac, gesturing herself as the song went _“don’t trust a hoe”_ and mainly having fun. Gigi leaned in as the song went quieter.

“Where’s Dahlia?” She yelled, close to Crystal’s ear, to make sure she was heard. Crystal shrugged and raised on her toes to talk.

“Where’s Matt?” Gigi shrugged back. They kept dancing together until Dahlia approached Crystal from behind and left kiss on her ear. Crystal turned back to face her friend with a big smile on her face and was suddenly pulled into a heated kiss.

“What was that for?” Crystal asked to Dahlia as she pulled her in a tight dancing position. Dahlia talked close to her ear, from her behind, as her breath tickled her neck.

“To make sure no one steals my date.” Crystal was sure Dahlia joked so she laughed and danced with her.

They spent several minutes on the dance floor, sharing heated kisses here and there and mainly having fun. Crystal leaned closer to Dahlia to inform her she was leaving for the bathroom and walked away clumsily. She swung open the bathroom door without knocking in a tipsy decision and was faced with Matt and a random girl kissing. Flashback hit her quick, the reason she hated house parties hit even quicker. She stood there, hand on the side of the door to have something to hold on to, with her mouth open in shock.

“Crys, why are you just standing the-…” Gigi’s voice snapped her back to reality. She tried to close the door to spare her some pain, but Gigi was already looking inside with tears on her eyes. “Fuck, Matt,” was all she could say.

They all stood speechless for a split second. “Gigi, let’s go,” Crystal tried to bring her back to reality. Gigi took one last mental picture before turning towards the door and leaving with fast steps. Crystal tried to follow but people didn’t let her short body pass as they did with Gigi, she caught up after a few minutes and found the girl sitting in the porch.

She looked lifeless. Crystal was sure her head was a mess even though she didn’t look the part. She sat down and tried to hold her hand, but Gigi didn’t let her.

“Crystal, leave.” She said simply. Crystal was shivering but Gigi looked like she was on fire, like her body was radiating heat with the anger in her.

“Gigi, let me help… I know I have been _the other girl_ for you but let me help.” Gigi shocked Crystal with an angry laughter, mocking in a way.

“This isn’t about you, Crystal. It has never been about you,” Gigi snapped at her, making Crystal get startled. “Come on, talk about how stupid I am. You love to do that, don’t you?” Gigi scared Crystal with her loud voice but didn’t care. Crystal stood with her head held down and eyes filled with tears as they heard someone clearing their throat behind them and turned to face with Dahlia. Gigi laughed again, with the same nervous tone, before turning back front.

“Lia, I can handle this,” Crystal said, looking at the hand Dahlia was offering her to get up.

“Crystal, leave,” Gigi’s sure tone was broken this time, but she cleared her throat quickly. “Take your non-girlfriend girlfriend and leave.”

Crystal looked at Gigi again as she sat acting the brunette wasn’t there. She sat with her hands grabbing the edge of the porch, biting her bottom lip nervously.

“I’m sorry,” Crystal mumbled as she took the hand and got up.

“You don’t get to apologize for something you can’t fix,” Dahlia pulled Crystal in a half hug as Gigi raised her head to examine them.

“You don’t get to blame her for this.” Dahlia answered rather quickly and guided Crystal back inside as Gigi watched them leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of like this one, it was fun to write honestly  
> This chapter is dedicated to Rose the reptile alongside of DRFF gc, ily guys  
> Make sure to leave a comment if you like it  
> Also I make every detail of college in this story up so it probably isn't even a little bit right hahah


	6. six

Matt: Call me when you’re available

Matt: It’s important

Two messages from the person she despises the most was what Crystal saw when she woke up in Dahlia’s bed, beside some girl they had a threesome with last night. The sun was barely rising, but she didn’t know what woke her up or why she wasn’t sleepy.

Crystal peeled herself from the cozy covers and took one of Dahlia’s sweaters before heading towards the little balcony. She was surprised to see Dahlia awake like herself, smoking with barely any clothing on. Her mind went to the night she spent in Gigi’s room with her friends, and Gigi bringing her a cardigan, but she shook it off quickly and stepped outside.

“Hey,” Crystal spoke softly to not startle her. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Hey, goddess,” Dahlia answered with a little smile. “Couldn’t sleep after you two idiots fell asleep.” Crystal smiled big, remembering the late night they’ve had.

“Well, threesome on a weeknight isn’t the best idea but someone impatient begged,” she said, meaning Dahlia. She took a cigarette out of Dahlia’s pack and let her light it.

“I needed distraction,” Dahlia said after a while, looking away from Crystal. “Someone impatient agreed though.”

“Yeah, I’m just a slut,” Crystal said, making Dahlia laugh with the unexpected answer. They smoked in silence and serenity for a moment, but Dahlia broke it, worried for her friend.

“How long has it been since you two talked?” Crystal mirrored Dahlia and looked away towards the rising sun with her.

“It’s not like we don’t talk, we have to sometimes,” A big sigh escaped her lips. “But it’s always hostile, like I’m her enemy or it’s like I’m no one. Arguably, the later one is worse. Has it been, like what, three weeks after the party? That’s the last time we held a conversation.”

“Well fuck her and her new, hot, black hair!” Crystal giggled and looked towards Dahlia.

“Ugh, I love you Lia,” she said, catching even herself surprised. Dahlia looked at her with one of her eyebrows raised. “In a friendly way!” She corrected herself and giggled alongside her friend.

“I love you too, Crys,” she said, pulling the brunette in a half hug. “In _a ‘I fuck you while you complain about another girl’_ way.”

“We are just two emotionally unavailable girls looking for some good fucking,” Crystal leaned up and left a kiss near Dahlia’s lips.

“Closed permanently, would make an exception for a coffee with a curly brunette though,” Dahlia giggled, showing her heart, and pulled Crystal in a hot kiss, pushing her towards the iron bars of the balcony. She didn’t give Crystal time to think about her half joking but Crystal’s sloppy kissed showed how she realized.

Night of the party:

“Brita, I’m sorry,” Crystal sniffled as she sat on her bed, looking down at her hands. “I know you needed some relaxing, I’m sorry.”

“Nothing is more important than my baby Crys,” Brita joked to lighten to mood, but it didn’t exactly work. Crystal looked up to see Brita sitting on her own bed with very drunk Rock’s head on her lap with the puppy look on her eyes. Nicky was marching in the small room with a furious look on her face, ready to punch someone for her friend. Then she realized Dahlia was still with them, standing while leaning on the dorm’s door.

“That fucking bitch, Crys tell me to go fight her and I will!” Nicky mumbled before cursing in French, which none of them understand. “You just wanted to give some emotional support, take it or leave it! What the hell is blaming you good for?”

“Nicky, she is very upset,” Crystal said in a small voice, scared of the French girl herself. “So am I but I’m not going to blame her for it, we’ll figure it out.”

“Her tone was just so…” Dahlia trailed off, trying to keep her calm.

“Pointed.” Crystal finished the sentence for her. She nodded to agree, with a serious look on her face. “Let’s just call it a night, okay?” She got up and walked towards Dahlia, opened the door for her with apologetic eyes and lead her to the corridor to talk in private.

“Will you be okay?” Dahlia asked, her eyes examining Crystal with the broken smile on her face.

“Yeah, I’m fine… I hope she is too,” her voice as the sentence ended. “Sorry I ruined your night, Lia, I’ll make it up to you.” Dahlia furrowed her eyebrows as if she said something offensive.

“We’re friends first, don’t forget that Crys.” She leaned in to leave a peck on the much smaller girl’s lips, making her confused about the meaning of friendship between them. Crystal stood in the corridor, barefoot but not caring at all, and watched Dahlia walk away with the feeling of her lips still tingling. She took a deep breath in before stepping back into the room.

“Where’s Nicky and Rock?” Crystal asked, pretty dumbfounded when she couldn’t find the girls inside but heard puking from their bathroom a moment later. She nodded with Brita, both of them pressing their lips together.

“Can someone take over?” Nicky yelled from inside, making Brita practically ran over.

Meanwhile, the room upstairs was another chaos. Gigi was the one marching the room there, tears streaming down her face as she did. She was more mad than upset, which was surprising to her friends.

“The nerve that Dahlia girl has,” she was mumbling before she reached her mirror, the mirror she stood before hours ago with Crystal in their matching outfits and happy together. She stayed there to examine the dress as if she didn’t make it herself with a frown on her face.

“Gigi, why are you talking about Crystal when you should be talking about Matt?” Jackie asked sheepishly. Gigi bit her bottom lip before turning to her friend, with her eyes glistening as they were wet.

“I don’t know,” she sounded unconvinced by herself. She sat on the edge of Jackie’s bed; her head held low. She repeated with a lower voice, “I don’t know.”

“Child, you know we love you…” Jan cut Jaida of eagerly.

“We love you so much, we are nothing like your girls back home,” Gigi smiled towards Jan, needing the reminder more than anything in that moment.

“That being said, you have some figuring out to do. You said you wanted to work for the favor of your relationship but this sure doesn’t feel like it.” Jackie completed their thoughts as Jaida and Jan nodded. They all tangled up in a group hug as Gigi started sobbing with her whole body shaking.

None of them knew Gigi as vulnerable, breakable. The Gigi they knew was a strong girl, a girl who could walk through any obstacle fate decided to throw her way easily. The night taught all of them, including Gigi, a lesson: she wasn’t good with relationships, probably because of being stuck in the same one for years.

Only Jaida heard what Gigi whispered through her crying as her head was in Jaida’s shoulder. “What if they end up together?”

Crystal was walking towards the table where her friends were seated, arriving to the campus later than she should’ve. She sat next to Nicky at the end of the long table the girls have chosen and received a few smiles as greeting as the blonde girl turned to her. She offered her a cup of coffee before talking.

“Your straight hair is gone, you are unreasonably happy with your sleepy eyes, and you are _very_ late,” Nicky stated, making Crystal roll her eyes playfully. Gigi was at the other end of the table, sipping her coffee without her eyes leaving the table for a second as they joked around.

“Are we pointing out the obvious things now? Jaida is stunning!” Rock continued the conversation, sitting across the table from them. They turned to Jaida, siting with just Jackie in between them and Rock.

“Look over there!” She screamed to distract the girls and Crystal did with confused eyes, making the one’s who knew the joke laugh.

“Nice coffee date girls but we have to bail,” Brita got up as she made Jackie too.

“Mom is overworking to feed me,” Crystal said with a fake pout on her face as they left. Nicky turned to Jan beside her, Crystal already knew what they were trying to do.

“Come on, you have to finish that thing we were working on,” she said, pulling Jan away as she stood up to leave. It wasn’t even a thought out lie.

“That reminds me, I have a few commissions to catch up on!” Rock got up with them and eyed Jaida, obviously telling her to leave with them. Crystal tried to make up an excuse to leave with them but wasn’t too good at thinking on her feet. She mumbled as she watched Jaida leave, not even bothering to give excuses like the others.

They were at the opposite ends of the table, sitting across from each other. It was awkward, sitting at a table so big while they were so far away so Crystal thought about scooting closer, but Gigi did it first. Crystal watched as she did, finally having a moment to think about how her new hair couldn’t be more Gigi.

“What?” Gigi responded to her lingering eyes, looking over where Crystal was momentarily.

Crystal was dumbfounded and stuttered for a second, “I, uhm… The hair!” She could say finally. “Your new hair, I like it.”

“Yeah, me too,” she answered with a shrug. “Have you been with Lia?” Gigi asked, her voice coming out as a sting for Crystal, and acted like they were friends all over again.

“Yeah, just spent the night at her place,” Crystal answered with the same shrug, exactly knowing what Gigi was implying.

“Aren’t you guys close for a friends with benefits situation,” She said, both of them knowing it wasn’t a question. She was about the talk again as she saw her ex-boyfriend walked over their table and got up quickly. Her face turned sour in a brief second. “Oh for fuck’s sake…” She mumbled under her breath.

“Gigi, stay,” Matt tried to get a hold of her, but she got rid of it quickly.

“What the fuck do you want?” Gigi said while grabbing her little purse and putting her hands in tight fists.

“I need to talk to you, both of you.” He said, blocking Gigi’s way.

“I don’t think that’s a need,” Crystal said, getting up in unison with Gigi. She watched as the black-haired girl stood in between them, looking at Crystal only.

“Please, leave me alone. Both of you, just leave me alone,” she turned to Matt this time. “Fuck each other’s brains out, I don’t care! Do whatever the fuck you want as long as you leave me alone.”

Gigi turned around and walked away from them with quick steps. Her emotions were spilling out as tears whilst she left the building with running like steps. The cold hit her face the same time as the realization. She found a safe corner for herself and sat down before a brick wall, needing a moment to breath.

Crystal found her quickly, getting on her nerves with the following she constantly did. Gigi expected her to sit beside herself, offer her one of her cigarettes and pretend to care, as she would put it. Crystal did none of them, she stood right before her with a self-assured face on.

“Can you be a fucking adult about this?” Gigi rolled her eyes and turned her head to the side. “I get it, you’re hurt or whatever,”

“Whatever…” Gigi mocked her words with her needle like tongue again.

“You can’t keep doing this, Geege! You can’t act all weird towards Lia, towards Matt when it comes to me and expect your problems to solve themselves,”

“I’m not acting weird, why the fuck would you think that?” Gigi got up to claim her dominance over Crystal, but the shorter girl didn’t buy any of it.

“Do you think I’ll go running to that boy’s arms because you guys aren’t a couple now? Are you still fucking jealous of your ex?” Crystal spitted out, as Gigi’s eyes got full again.

She wanted to talk. She wanted to tell who she was really jealous of, who it was all this time… She wanted to scream why he didn’t break up with him, how she tried so hard to keep him away from Crystal.

Instead, she took a deep breath in and buried her words deep within her heart. She clenched her jaw and watched the brunette with the hurt look in her eyes, “I’m not jealous.” Her voice was barely audible.

“I’m sorry but you’re tiring Gigi. We are friends for a second and then not for another one. Pick what you want and please, stop playing with me. Don’t try and mess with my head with a kiss, with acting affectionate with me. Be my friend or not,”

“Crystal, I don’t wa-“Gigi stopped herself midsentence, not ready for what she was about to say herself yet. Crystal’s eyes teared up, tired of the immatureness of this never-ending conversation.

“Please, end this cycle of friend/not-friend situation. It hurts both of us,” Crystal’s voice broke, she didn’t even dare to look at Gigi’s eyes. A hot tear swept her cheek, leading to her neck as they both stood without saying a word.

It was Crystal’s turn to leave this time. Gigi’s silence was too much for her to handle, she would rather a fight over silence any day. She walked without even knowing where she was going until she heard someone call her name. She saw Dahlia walking towards her with fast steps and a concerned look on her face.

Dahlia Sin, always in the right place at the right time. Her black hair cascading her tattooed skin looked intriguing as always. _Maybe this is what I need_ , Crystal thought, unsure of the _this_ part of it.

“Baby, are you okay?” Crystal realized she was crying in that moment. She wiped her face before nodding, it felt even colder where her tears streamed.

“Not really,” she said although she nodded a second ago. She gathered all her courage together to form her next sentence, “Let’s talk over the coffee you were talking about.”

Crystal knew she was accepting an offer she wasn’t sure of. She also knew how Lia was good for her, how she couldn’t help craving her affection. Gigi’s ice blue eyes filled with tears flashed her mind whilst Dahlia looked over where her friends were smoking to give them a heads up. They waved Crystal a hello and she greeted back with a little wave, mirroring theirs’.

“Okay, let’s go.” Dahlia turned to her, with a smile engraved on her gorgeous face. All Crystal hoped was to be not making the wrong decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi again, i wrote this at 3 am so feel free to point out any mistakes. see you next time!


	7. seven

Gigi’s eyes were fixed on Crystal as she danced under the streetlight, celebrating the first snow of the year in the cold night. Thankfully, all of them were too drunk to realize Gigi’s jealous eyes watching Dahlia swirl Crystal around playfully. Dahlia’s hand slipped into Crystal’s jean’s back pocket as the song changed, bringing her closer for a kiss.

It was two weeks after she was given a choice to keep the friendship or not. Gigi told Crystal she wanted to be her friend days after the encounter, hoping they could bounce back from the fall out and become a thing, anything Crystal wanted. She didn’t realize how late she was until Dahlia become more and more involved in their friend group, until the two of them finally became official.

She was sitting on the sidewalk with Rock next to her, Rock’s sleepy head on her shoulder when Jan approached her to pull her up for a dance. She gestured towards Rock, but Jackie pulled her away quickly, taking her excuse away. Jackie told her to go and dance as Rock didn’t woke up for a second in between the changes. Before she knew what happened she was slow dancing to Cardigan with a very drunk and jumpy Jan, spinning her as requested.

She stole a few glances from Dahlia and Crystal, both smiling big with Crystal’s hands on Dahlia’s neck as she whispered to her girlfriend. Gigi zoned out, her movements automated and not really required as Jan was the star of their dance.

She remembered Jackie asking her how much she knew Crystal anyways, not enough to be in love should’ve been the answer. But Gigi could swear she knew her. She knew how much the older girl adored thrifted pieces, she knew her art was abstract when she did it for only herself, she knew how Crystal’s lips felt on hers’.

_But I knew you  
Dancin' in your Levi's_  
_Drunk under a streetlight, I_

Gigi knew how it felt to be loved by Crystal, knew it deep inside her heart. Neither of them could name it at the time as the emotion surrounded them, making it hard to realize, but she knew it deep inside.

Gigi knew how it felt to be despised by Crystal. 

_  
I knew you  
Baby, kiss it better, I_

Her drunk inner voice whined; _please, kiss me better_ , _tell me this was all a joke and be in my arms, please._ She twirled Jan around with a broken smile and eyes filled with tears. She knew drunk Gigi was emotional, but she drank the night away anyways. Thankfully, drunk Jan was so full of herself she didn’t realize a thing.

_And when I felt like I was an old cardigan  
Under someone's bed  
You put me on and said I was your favorite_

How long has it been since she last saw Matt? Since she last felt loved by him? Gigi knew all along the last year they were growing apart but tried to hold on to the relationship for what? To be cheated on time after time, to keep him and Crystal away as long as she could.

Crystal… Light of her days as she was in a painful relationship. The girl her boyfriend cheated on her with, the supposed other girl was the one who put her out of her misery. Crystal gave her the hope she needed, helped her feel valuable again. She was much more than _“the other girl”,_ she was the protagonist in Gigi’s head.

 _Coward_ , Gigi insulted herself as she watched Dahlia and Crystal giggle in between kisses.

The first snow of the season piled on Gigi’s heart. It snowed and snowed until it was buried with all the feelings she had for the brunette. It had to be buried. After everything she put through Crystal, keeping a distance from her relationship was the least she could do in Gigi’s head.

That night, Crystal lied awake in Dahlia’s bed, sobered up from the cold outside, wondering how this thing that was supposed to be a wonderful relationship felt so out of place. How when they were alone, the spark felt lost.

How it was always giggles, and kisses, and soft bites and never her heart stopping with the thought of the black-haired girl. It was what a relationship was, only after years over it with the light of it gone.

The next night, Crystal was in Dahlia’s bed again but this time with someone else companying them. They were all in lingerie on the bed, looking out of a wild dream as they shared kisses and explored each other. Crystal was kissing Dahlia, thinking about how this was the only time her heart skipped a beat for her in days while the red-haired girl was pulling on her piercing, her hand on Dahlia’s nipple.

She pulled too hard on her sensitive nipple for a second, making Crystal let out a little ‘ouch’ as she pulled away. They both turned to her with concerned looks, “You guys continue, I’ll be back in a second,” she mumbled before leaving for bathroom.

She didn’t need a second, she wasn’t even hurt that much. She got in the bathroom and stood before the mirror, examined herself thoroughly. Her curly hair was in two braids flowing down her back, the red set she was wearing looked amazing on her body and there were two beautiful women waiting for her on the bed to have pleasure with until the dawn.

It wasn’t right, her new relationship wasn’t right. It wasn’t Dahlia, it was even unfair for her. Was it the not-single life realization? Was it the girl she complained about in the bed weeks ago? Was it Dahlia not being ready emotionally? Crystal had no idea if it was one of them, all of them or something completely different.

Normally, Crystal was a jealous person. That was what she thought that drive April away was but her relationship dynamic with Lia was different. She was standing in the bathroom all alone while her girlfriend’s little moans and whimpers were audible from inside, all while she was getting kissed by another girl in where they shared all their intimate moments.

Crystal took a deep, shaky breath in before stepping out of the bathroom to approach the drawer on Lia’s nightstand. She found a pre rolled joint and lighted it while watching the girl lay her girlfriend down.

“Thought I would add some more fun,” she said, letting the smoke out and holding the joint for Dahlia. She drew a breath in and pulled Crystal closer by holding on to her neck, letting she smoke out on her face before kissing her. Crystal kissed her plump lips, slightly smudging her red lipstick as Dahlia moaned inside her mouth with the red-haired girl’s fingers inside her.

Crystal promised to Dahlia she would get back in bed after she smoked to get some sleep in but the cold combined with the smoking wasn’t the best for sleeping after. She snuggled in her cardigan more as she dragged the cigarette butt on the ashtray, didn’t mind the shivering as she watched the sunrise all alone.

When she got back in half an hour later Lia was fast asleep, looking like the angel she was. The tough girl act was far gone while she dreamt, her face almost shaping a little smile. Crystal knew better than to leave her alone but needed some time alone. She placed a little kiss on the temple of her head and left the house after leaving a little, cute note for Lia.

It was cold and there was almost no one in the streets, Crystal was creeped out but thankfully her dorm building wasn’t far away. She climbed the stairs quickly and found her room. She got in not examining around and struggling with her key all whilst trying to not wake up Brita. Her mouth dropped open when she saw an intervention banner hanged across her room. Rock and Nicky were sleeping on her bed, Rock lightly snoring while Brita was on her own bed.

\---------

Jaida was holding a scarf on Gigi’s eyes as she guided her inside Crystal’s dorm. Gigi almost fell but got in safe, whining about what it was all about. It wasn’t her birthday; she didn’t have any accomplishments on the horizon to celebrate. She was slightly worried as Jaida dropped the scarf. Her eyebrows furrowed with the intervention banner revealed to her.

“Okay, I know I bought too many clothes this month but,” Jackie cut her sentence.

“This isn’t about your shopaholic lifestyle, although that intervention might be needed soon,”

“It’s about Crystal!” Nicky said like it was an exciting thing, making her take a step back.

“Don’t scare her, you idiot!” Rock fought with Nicky like they always do. “We’ll get drunk and solve your Crys issues, how does that sound?”

“There’s no issue to be solved,” Gigi lied under her breath, knowing well no one in that room would believe it.

“Shots first, talking later!” Jan said with a big grin on her face, already poured shots on the table she was gesturing towards.

Several shots in and Gigi was placed in the middle of the room, laughing when there was nothing funny at all. Jan was laying next to her, her head on Gigi’s lap as she sang love songs mixed with laughter. They were giggling to “Heartless” when tipsy Jackie approached them with a pen and a card, demanding them to write something to read in a second.

Gigi grabbed one too and put the best thing she could think about in it.

“Damn bitch! Sorry you had to leave through that or happy you get this experience, idk yet. Don’t be a pussy next time, kisses,” she put it away and listened to what her friends have written for her as they all struggled to keep serious.

\---------

Crystal slowly approached her table where a few solo cups were placed beside some flash cards. She picked one up and recognized Nicky’s handwriting on it.

_Reasons to let Crystal go:_

_-She can be a dumbass sometimes_

_-She is in a loving relationship_

_-You both deserve better_

She switched before finishing to find one with Jaida’s neat handwriting on it.

 _“We love you, but sometimes wrong timing crosses with fate and all we have to do is wait,”_ she switched quickly to the one behind that.

 _“Baby Gee, we are tired of seeing you hurt. Communication is key and you aren’t doing so much of that,”_ Baby Gee part gave Jackie away as Crystal shifted quickly to find Rock’s one.

 _“I still ship Crygi, but I also love Crylia. Gigi, I don’t know, I’m very drunk while writing this. Have a threesome and get it over with,”_ Crystal held onto her table as her head started spinning but all she did was causing a chain reaction of cups spilling. Brita and Nicky were quick to wake up as Rock kept sleeping only with a groan leaving her mouth.

“This is why you guys wanted me out tonight?” Crystal held the cards up to show to Brita. Nicky and she looked at each other with worried eyes.

“Crys, we can explain,” Brita said softly as Rock started waking up to Crystal’s loud voice.

“Also, who is watching that hetero series that does this?” Crystal gestured towards the banner as Nicky bit her bottom lip.

“Jackie wanted to help Gigi, get her mind off of…” Nicky couldn’t finish her sentence, so Rock took over for her.

“You.” Crystal put the cards down with her eyes full.

“I know this is hard to take in at once but,” Crystal cut off Brita’s sentence in half with her little chuckle.

“You think I didn’t know? With her eyes lingering over me all the times, with the way she kissed me?” It was the girls turn to be left dumb founded now. “I knew, girls, I knew since the kiss. Well I thought I imagined it as she insisted to stay with Matt but I don’t know… I felt it in a way,” She confessed everything she couldn’t confess to herself before.

“I’m sorry, I’m confused now. Why did you start dating Lia if the feeling was mutual?” Rock asked, still slurring her words slightly.

“Because I deserve fucking better, Sakura! The idiots toyed me around and I let them, I let myself be a plaything again!” Crystal sat on the edge of her bed as she let her tears stream down her cheek. “Lia is an open book. An open book I enjoy being around, an open book I enjoy the sex with.” Nicky slipped herself away from the covers and kneeled before Crystal, squeezed her knee as she let the bother out.

“We are so sorry, Crys. This was just supposed to be a night of drinking while we tackle Gigi’s communication issue with humor.” Rock nodded fast to agree with Nicky. Crystal wasn’t mad at them; they were all friends after all. _If Gigi accepts their emotional support, good for both parties for the healthy friendship opposite of ours,_ thought Crystal.

“She can’t keep doing this to me. You understand how unfair this is, right? She can’t blame me, crush on me, be jealous of me… It’s not her place, for any of it. Especially when I’m in a relationship… She can’t just mess with my head like that,” she could barely talk in between sniffles. She saw Nicky take the flash cards away but pretended to not realize.

They talked for a little while but then she let them to sleep. After they were asleep again, Crystal tidied the table a little bit. Her hand stopped when she found a carefully cut card like the ones she read from with an open pen next to it. She hesitated at first, pick the pen up just the close the cap of it. She was about to turn away and cuddle into Brita to sleep but a poem she loved haunted her on the way. Her mind itched, the poem begging to slip away from her fingers and find it’s rightful place.

_thinking of you is pretty, it’s hopeful,  
it is like listening to the most beautiful song  
from the most beautiful voice on earth...  
but hope is not enough for me anymore,  
I don't want to listen to songs,  
I want to sing_

She dated it to the day she started dating Dahlia, hoping Gigi would get the message. Then left the room with careful, quiet steps. She took a moment to think when she reached Gigi’s room but decided to do it anyways. It was her time to be confused, her time to leave Crystal alone. She slipped the card under the door and left to sleep before her afternoon date with her girlfriend.

“Oh my god, baby, you’re shining!” Dahlia said before pulling her girlfriend closer for a little peck. She held Crystal from her waist as she cleaned the smudged lipstick of hers, Crystal smiling big whilst she was busy.

“I would say the same, but it wouldn’t be news,” Crystal giggled as Dahlia smiled. Then Crystal’s face dropped, making Dahlia’s stomach dropped at the same time. “I don’t want you to worry but we have some things to talk about.”

Crystal wanted to talk about it, it wasn’t like Dahlia didn’t know the earlier tension anyways. Their relationship needed to be honest to work, no lies were allowed in between them.

“Is it about why you left early?”

“No! It’s about what I found when I left early, actually,” Dahlia raised one of her eyebrows. “We’ll talk later, ‘kay? Let me show you around now!”

They were at a gallery opened inside campus involving the students works. One of Crystal’s abstract pieces was picked to be on display, involving two girls in the middle of the tones of red with black. Dahlia put her arm over Crystal’s shoulder as she showed her around, presenting pieces from her peers and informing her on the pieces.

The couple stopped finally on a piece called _Sin,_ examining it with adoring eyes. It was everything they were. Dark and fierce, together in the middle of the chaos. Dahlia embraced her in a hug, Crystal rose on her toes and placed her chin on the leaning girl’s shoulder. She felt eyes on her, looked away to see who it was.

Gigi Goode and her confusing existence was on a high cocktail table, all by herself and holding a piece of thin cardboard. Crystal knew what she was holding, didn’t regret it for a second _. I deserve this,_ was what she thought as Dahlia pulled away from the hug. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick update because i was bullied!!  
> not sure about the ending honestly but keeping it bc mad and short crystal seems cute to me idk haha  
> the poem is from nazım hikmet translated by me bc i just thought it was crygi hsjahsjahsh


	8. eight

_thinking of you is pretty, it’s hopeful,  
it is like listening to the most beautiful song  
from the most beautiful voice on earth...  
but hope is not enough for me anymore,  
I don't want to listen to songs,  
I want to sing_

Gigi was holding the poem in between two of her fingers as Dahlia approached her, making her get startled. She jumped for a second, then clutched her hand on her chest as Dahlia grinned at her.

“Hey girl!” Dahlia greeted her as she panicked to hide the piece of cardboard.

“You scared me, sneaky bitch!” Gigi answered jokingly before examining Dahlia. She was used to seeing her wear black clothing, very daring ones usually. This time she was wearing a white off the shoulder top, complimenting her dark features with a pair of simple black jeans.

“It’s not my fault, you already looked pretty nervous,” she leaned on the high table where Gigi was waiting for her friends. “Really, though, are you okay?”

Gigi wanted to hate Dahlia, wanted her to be not kind and caring even when they weren’t exactly friends. But there she was, standing gorgeously with a concerned look for Gigi on her face, making it real hard to not be happy for Crystal.

“Yeah, just nervous as you said,” Gigi wanted to cut it off there but couldn’t help herself from whining. “Fashion department’s first year in the mid semester gallery and I have a piece right behind that door.” She gestured towards the door that divided the two sections.

“That sounds amazing, congratulations!” Dahlia said with genuine happiness on her face. “It’s amazing, right?” She asked as Gigi still looked pretty nervous, looking down on the table to the facing-back card.

“It is! This is exactly what I want my fashion to be perceived as,”

“A piece of art, I get that.” Dahlia trailed off as she saw Crystal entering from the door behind Gigi. “How about I let Crys show me around here, and then we come find you and you give us the privilege to listen about the piece from the artist herself?” She asked before leaving. Gigi nodded with a big smile on her face, not showing how tense she was to face Crystal.

She didn’t see the girlfriends greeting each other as they were behind here, instead pulled out her phone to send threatening messages to her friends. Jaida messaged her saying she was on her way with Jan, giving her some sort of relief. She played with her fingers and rings as she tried to keep her hands away from the card.

She knew the date on the card, she knew it was when it all started going downhill. The message was loud and clear. She was determined to leave them alone just so Crystal could be happy. Then why couldn’t she take her mind off of Crystal once feeling the same for her?

Gigi picked the card again; she read it so much since she found it on her door in the morning it was almost engraved on her mind. She looked up for a second to pull herself together, to clear her mind just to see Dahlia and Crystal hugging.

She froze as their eyes met, felt like a deer in headlights with the poem in her hand. Crystal pulled away from the hug as her face didn’t even slightly change.

It hurt to see them like that, her heart felt heavy inside her chest for a second. She was finally able to face her feelings, but it was too late. There was a beautiful obstacle on the way, and Gigi had no choice but to stay away. For herself, for Crystal and finally, for Dahlia, she had to stay away.

Around an hour later, after Gigi and Jaida cried over their own pieces and showed their friends around the gallery she was left alone again. She wanted to leave, it was too overwhelming of a day anyways, but she couldn’t leave as she promised Dahlia.

Crystal and Dahlia entered the section hand in hand, Gigi’s eyes lingered on the linked hands with a broken smile on her face before greeting them. She held on to her baguette bag as if the piece of cardboard leave by itself as she guided the girls over her own piece.

Seeing her art on display, hanged on a mannequin to show it off made Gigi’s heart beat like a high school girl crushing. She stopped right in front of it as her face glowed with delight. She turned back to face the girls, failed to realize how Crystal smiled in sync with her.

“The reason of my constantly hurting fingertips and wrists!” She gestured towards the dress with one of her hands as she held the other one on her stomach, in a mocking tribute pose. One of her fingers had a band aid on, proving her point further.

“Geege, it’s beautiful!” Crystal looked starstruck, making Gigi blush hard as she proceeded to explain her vision. The couple listened her carefully, Crystal even added her insight from the art perspective.

Gigi was glad Crystal was acting normal towards her. She didn’t know if it was because Dahlia was present there or she simply didn’t care about her anymore, but it was a relief. The tension was the last thing she needed.

Shame it was such a delight to talk to Crystal about something she was so passionate about. She could talk about art for hours with Crystal, not getting bored for a second of it. They were trailing off as expected until Crystal caught Dahlia’s bored but kind smile.

“Are you bored Miss Science?” she chuckled playfully as Dahlia rolled her eyes.

“Wait, what do you even study?” Gigi asked curiously, confused with Crystal’s statement.

“You would never believe it,” Dahlia smiled to her before turning to Crystal. “I’m not bored, but we promised my girls for the night, remember?”

There it was, the feeling of her heart dropping again. Gigi wanted to be the one to hang out with her on a friend night, the one to be cuddle her until they slept the same night. She swallowed the jealousy and put on a little smile.

“Sorry, I trailed off,” she looked down, not wanting to give the cue for them to go. These little moments in between were the only times she had a crumb of interaction with Crystal and it was needed for her then. “Go have fun, love birds!” She cringed at herself and her cracked, high tone so hard as Dahlia giggled. They said their little goodbyes and the couple left; their hands linked once again.

Gigi felt herself die a little with frustration. She watched them walk away from herself as she stood awkwardly in the middle, finally letting go of her perfect posture. It was time to let Crystal be happy, but does it have to mean herself being so desperate? 

She couldn’t name it quiet yet but needed some sort of cue to end this tension in between herself and Crystal. She needed something to move on, both from Matt and Crystal. Then it hit her, it was a little something called _closure_ she needed.

“What was the thing you wanted to talk to me about, babe?” Dahlia asked as Crystal hummed along the song she put on. Crystal looked confused for a second before it hit her.

“Oh,” she said with furrowed eyebrows, entirely unsure about how her girlfriend would react. “Okay, I don’t want you to react weird to this, but you know everything that went down between Gigi and I…”

“You mean her kissing you, you being to prideful to answer it, the over all tension that drove you to me every time? Yeah, I might know a thing or two about it,” Dahlia chuckled, over seeing Crystal’s nervousness. “You know you can tell anything to me, spill.”

“When I left early yesterday, I found out they performed a little silly intervention about me for Gigi,” she spoke quiet, wording it as if it was a demonic sacrifice.

Dahlia pulled over quickly as they reached the house, making Crystal jump on her seat. She froze, her hands still on the steer wheel as Crystal watched her nervously. Then she exhaled and turn to her side to face her girlfriend.

“What am I supposed to say about this?” Crystal hated how she felt the need to be defensive, hated how she needed to share the fact too. She bit her bottom lip, trying to come up with an answer. “Look, Crystal, I don’t care if she is still stuck on you. I can’t blame her for it. What matters for me is you. Are you in this with me?”

“Yes, Lia, you know I am,” she reached to hold her hand and caressed it as she went on. “It’s just that… It would feel awkward to hide it,” Lia took her eyes up to her face, peeling them away from their linked hands and give her a little smile.

“I trust you,” she simply said, but with her previous trust issues there were no words more important than the ones she shared. Crystal felt her heart aching. She never wanted to see her hurt and promised herself to not cause it before reaching a little kiss.

Dahlia pulled away first and stood close to Crystal’s face, examined her expression as she did the same. Their breaths were mixed as she leaned in again, leaving another small kiss that lead to a heated one. Her hands went discovering Crystal’s thigh and waist as Crystal hold on Dahlia’s leg. Crystal was on the verge of climbing on top of her as Dahlia pulled her by her waist when they heard a knock on the car’s window.

Dahlia’s friend Heidi was behind the window, furiously knocking on it as Dahlia rolled her eyes before lowering it.

“Ma’am this is a Wendy’s!” She quoted a vine as the girls pulled themselves together with a laughter. “I know you guys are new and all, but can we not?”

“Can we not what? Are you homophobic?” Heidi put her hand on her chest and gasped dramatically, acting offended by the accusations.

“How can you offer I’m not?” Crystal laughed to Heidi’s southern religious woman act as she left the car. She liked Dahlia’s friends; she was actually mad at the fact they haven’t met before. Crystal was sure she was going to have a fun night the moment she entered the house.

Another week went by without Gigi ever interacting with Crystal. The idea of closure sounded sweet, but she had no idea of how to get it. She couldn’t go up to the brunette and ask her, Crystal seemed like she had no intention of being alone with her anyways.

She liked being Crystal’s friend. Sure, hanging out as a big group was fun but Crystal alone was amazing too. She always had some crazy painting idea to talk about, always had a paint stain somewhere she missed that made Gigi smile or had an amazing book recommendation, usually something dystopian. 

Crystal was a light she missed her chance on. Gigi was almost accepting the fact by then.

Gigi was coming back from a close by party, walking alone in the cold to sober up a little. Crystal wasn’t there, she didn’t expect her to be there but hoped. Ever since she had a girlfriend, she kept a distance from the college parties, keeping Gigi away from being amazed by her in the dance floor as she danced her mind off.

It was a little late in the night, the dorm building seemed scary as she pushed the big doors to open. The elevator doors were open, leaking cold white lights out to the corridor as she walked fast to reach it. She got in barely, almost breathless and the first thing she saw was a sniffling Crystal leaning to the mirror beside her.

She turned around in rushed movement; her cheeks got even redder as the elevator started to move. Was she supposed to ask her what was wrong? Was it stepping over boundaries?

“Gigi, your button,” Crystal pointed out as she jumped a little. She turned to Crystal for a second, her eyes were puzzled before Crystal gestured towards the panel on her right. She made a little _‘oh’_ sound and turned around to press her button, her mind still on the brunette with a red nose.

She pressed the wrong button in a split second, making the elevator stop immediately. Then she pressed it a few more times to try and undo it but nothing happened. She turned to Crystal as they both looked concerned.

“What now?” Gigi asked like the other girl would know.

“Shit, Gigi, do I look like a technician to you?” Crystal asked before standing straight to take a look at the panel. She stopped when she got nothing as the written pieces of it were long faded.

They both took their phones out and showed each other the ‘no signal’ writing defeatedly. Then they kicked and punched the door for a while, a little while as they were both impatient and knew no one was coming soon. Everyone was either at the party since it was pretty close or sleeping. Being in between the floors weren’t exactly helping either.

“Brita knew I was coming, she would realize,” Crystal mumbled as she stopped for a second. It was more of a hope than expectation, Gigi needed more than that. This wasn’t the way of being alone with Crystal she thought about.

Gigi turned around and sat down first, resting herself on the side wall of the elevator. Crystal struggled for a few more minutes but she gave up too, mirrored Gigi and sat down with her back on the back wall. Gigi watched her movement as she pulled her knees close to her chest and put her head in between her knees. She heard a sniffle not long after.

“What’s wrong?” Crystal didn’t move for a second, unsure about sharing details of her relationship with the girl she had _‘tension’_ before. She raised her head back up and rested her head on the wall. There was an unreadable smile on her face and her eyes were red, showing she was probably high.

“Does my gorgeous face look like something is wrong with me?” She asked with her exaggerated talking as Gigi didn’t change her expression.

Crystal got her cue and closed her eyes, accepting to be there at least for a little while longer. Gigi could barely hold back. She wanted to hug her, play with her curls as she told her everything was going to be okay. Instead she mirrored her and rested her head on the cold wall behind her. She fixed her eyes on the flickering light on the ceiling. Her slightly drunk mindset found it interesting to watch for several minutes before she heard Crystal talk.

“Oh God, you’re shivering,” Gigi turned her eyes to the brunette, not realizing the shivering or when Crystal turned to her before she spoke. She scooted closer and tried to reach her hands gathered on her lap.

“It’s okay,” she tried to pull back but there was no space to run.

“No, please, let me,” Gigi silently extended her pale, slender hands to Crystal as she held them in between both of her hand. Their tans were contrasting beautifully, they both only stared at the hands for a while.

“Coming from the party?” Crystal asked just to break the silence.

“Yeah,” Gigi didn’t return the question and the silent filled the small place in again. This was her moment, she decided to take it. “It was a beautiful poem.” She kept her voice low as if Crystal was a cat that would be scared away.

“Yeah, not mine but I found it fitting,” Gigi nodded to agree, it was quite fitting. “Not as beautiful as the speeches girls wrote.” Gigi chuckled remembering the night. The speeches were half serious drunk written pieces that was supposed to be fun until Crystal found them.

“I loved it when Nicky called you a dumbass,” Crystal giggled along with her.

“Rock had some intriguing ideas, not going to lie,” she joked back. Gigi narrowed her eyes for a second to remember what it was. When the threesome idea hit her, she hit Crystal jokingly as her face turned back to the big smile.

They took a silent second before Crystal spoke again. “You should’ve just talked to me,” Gigi swallowed hard to the idea.

“Maybe,” they looked into each other’s eyes, none of them broke the stare before Gigi talked again. “We were never emotionally ready at the same time. I’m sorry for blaming you that night of the party, that wasn’t very nice of me,”

“It’s okay, I get it,” she caressed the back of Gigi’s hand with her thumb.

“It was too late when I come to terms with it,” she trailed off looking down at Crystal caressing herself. “You started dating Dahlia, all I was left with was an obviously one-sided crush and a relationship that should’ve ended long before,” Gigi chuckled at the idea of the two being at the same time. She knew she fucked up big time.

“Yeah, Dahlia,” Crystal mumbled before pulling away, her eyes tearing up once again.

“Crys, why were you crying?” Gigi asked once again, concerned as a friend this time.

“Gigi don’t push it,” Crystal said silently.

“I’m just trying to be a good friend here,” Gigi defended herself as Crystal chuckled with sudden anger. “Crys, please,”

That was the breaking point for the brunette. She suddenly got closer to Gigi to be intimidating before she talked. Her red eyes were on Gigi’s eyes the whole time as the devilish smile grew on her face.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, Miss Mixed Feelings? What, are you mad that you’re not the one messing with my head anymore?”

Gigi’s eyes teared up this time as she realized how much she messed with Crystal’s feelings before. She realized there was no turning back in their relationship there in the cold elevator, as Crystal was still dangerously closed to her. The brunette was confused once again. She furrowed her eyebrows as she watched tears stream down the black-haired girl’s face.

“I’m sorry,” she sniffled this time. She looked up to see Crystal looking down at her involuntarily pouting bottom lip when she didn’t have a reaction to the apology.

Crystal leaned in and placed her hand across Gigi’s torso to hold on the ground as she got closer to her. She put her forehead on Gigi’s and watched her movement as Gigi kept looking down. Their breathing becoming heavy with the unfairness of the situation filling their chests.

Gigi almost kissed Crystal with a split moment of selfishness. She leaned up to close the gap but stopped as their cold noses touched. She needed the interaction, she craved it but couldn’t bring herself to kiss her as much as she wanted. They stood with their nose touching and both of their eyes closed for a second before Gigi pulled away.

“We can’t,” she said before getting up. Crystal didn’t change her position after Gigi slipped away from her grip, her eyes were still closed as Gigi stood up looking away from her.

“Crystal, is that you?” They heard Brita’s muffled voice echoing through the floors above them. Gigi left out a breath with relief. “The technician’s here, we’ll get you out in a minute.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i proof read this? absolutely not!  
> late night writing is my religion at this point. hope you like this one!


	9. nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i obviously don't know anything about the american education system...

Crystal was shaken even after the technician left and she watched Gigi climb the stairs to her floor.

She was laying under her cold blanket after Brita helped her into her pajamas, thinking she was shaken because of being stuck there for almost an hour. She let Brita untie her big boots, take her jacket off, and help her slip out of her skinny jeans but refused to let go of Dahlia’s baggy t-shirt. It was the only time she reacted to anything around her so Brita let her keep it.

She also gave Crystal a good night kiss after tucking her in. Crystal could see the phone light coming from Brita’s bed from the corner of her eye as she nervously texted Dahlia.

Dahlia… _She must’ve been so worried_ , Crystal thought. She stormed off there in a late time and all she heard back was Brita’s concerned texts. She probably was still by the couch in front of the window, reevaluating the biggest fight they’ve had yet. Crystal couldn’t even remember what they were fighting about then, it seemed like a silly little thing to her as what she did came to her mind.

Crystal took her hands to her face, covered it as tears started falling down her cheeks. The image of Gigi crying was not leaving her eyes, burning her brain as she tried to get rid of the ache she felt in her heart. The moment it left her eyes were the moments she saw the furious Dahlia, feeling like she watched the fight from outside and had no say in it.

Her mind switched to Gigi again. She let out a shaky little breath. The only movement on her body was her chest going up and down, at least showing Brita she was still alive in that frozen position.

Herself closing the gap in between their foreheads, leaning on to her as Gigi kept looking down was playing in her mind time after time. The way Gigi raised her head to connect their lips, the way she didn’t pull away. 

It all burned her in a cold manner. So cold that her heart felt frozen.

Gigi’s alcohol filled breath mixed with hers as she stopped midway, their noses touching, and the burning crave of each other making them suffer…

Crystal cried out loud for just a second as the words _“We can’t.”_ filled her throat. She wasn’t the one to pull away, she should’ve been the one to pull away. She knew she initiated the kiss and she hated it, hated to betray her girlfriend for even a moment of misjudgment.

She had to break her girlfriend’s heart and she hated it.

Crystal cried herself to sleep as she hugged Dahlia’s vanilla smelling t-shirt. Woke up later than she should’ve been, not even realizing where she was for a second. She expected to be on Dahlia’s comfortable bed, tangled with her but she wasn’t. She was alone with her heavy thoughts.

Her phone was out of charge, but she didn’t dare to plug it in. She wanted to run away from Dahlia, Gigi, and all of her friends for a second. She wanted to be alone for the first time in a while. She took a cold shower, but it didn’t rinse the guilt away. She rubbed her lips as if she was trying to get rid of the non-existent kiss to the point her lips got chapped.

She avoided everyone but Brita for the rest of the weekend, even charged her phone for the first time since Friday night in Sunday night to use it the next day. She dreaded to go to the class, especially when they were still doing the stupid presentations but had to attend due to her present absents.

She went there, sat like a ghost through the lesson as Jan watched her from afar with a concerned look on her face. She left as soon as the class was dismissed to avoid her, headed to her next one before the lunch she had with her friends every Monday. Thankfully, her art was there to help her express her emotions.

Crystal didn’t leave the class as quick as the previous one. She took her time to gather, absent mindedly chatted with a few fellow students and walked out as slow as she can. She was walking ou while looking down to her boots when she heard Dahlia call her.

“Crys!” She called from the wall she was leaning to, obviously waiting for her with two cups of coffee on her hands.

“Hey, Lia,” Crystal quietly greeted to her as she got closer. She gladly accepted the cup Dahlia offered her, hold it on her free hand as they started walking together towards where they usually meet their friends to eat.

“That one isn’t too hot, baby, you can drink it.” Dahlia knowing her so good that she knew how much Crystal couldn’t tolerate hot drinks weren’t helping in that minute. Crystal took a sip from the latte as they kept walking, not acknowledging the fight nor the ghosting.

“Here to talk?” Crystal asked first as they settled on a table just the two of them together. Dahlia was assuming she had breakfast and didn’t offer to get food together, but all Crystal had that day was the latte she was sipping from. “I assume you talked to Bri,”

“Yeah, I was worried, but you needed your space,” Dahlia settled right across her, a little smile on her face and both her hands on the black coffee she was holding. Crystal couldn’t see inside of the cup, just knew her girlfriend like that. “I thought about our fight, a lot…”

What Dahlia didn’t know was how the fight seemed too little to Crystal. It felt like it was a long time ago but at the same time, she could still feel the cold air from the window hitting her face. She could feel the cold clashing with her angry, red cheeks. It seemed silly to fight for a little jealousy.

“Yeah, me too,” When was the right time to confess? Was there even a right time? “I’m sorry, I overreacted.” Wrong thing to apologize about but a start was a star anyway.

“No, Crys, I’m sorry. I was just nervous and tired; I shouldn’t have said all those things to you.” Crystal just wanted to say how right she was when she told her _“What are you going to do? Crawl back to Gigi as you did with me?”_ and how much she regretted it. Dahlia broke her thoughts, not being able to hold back to good news any longer. “Crys, I got the internship!”

Now was definitely not the time to talk about something so frightening to their relationship.

“Lia! Really?” Crystal smiled big as her girlfriend nodded with a just as big smile on her face. “That’s amazing! Oh my god!”

“I know! I get to be here and have a normal paced school year for the first time in my life, isn’t that amazing?” Dahlia exclaimed as Crystal reached to hold her hands and left a kiss on her knuckles.

“It is, baby! I’m so proud of you!” Dahlia responded with a smile and they looked into each other’s eyes, both very happy for a little while. Then Dahlia broke the moment.

“Hey, Gee! Come sit with us!” she called out as she looked over Crystal’s shoulder. Crystal tensed up the second she heard the nickname, but Dahlia didn’t realize.

Gigi appeared in the span of a few seconds as Crystal panicked inside. She wasn’t ready yet and she didn’t get to ruin Dahlia’s happy day. Gigi sat down to the chair next to Dahlia as she greeted the girls, but Crystal couldn’t hear past her mind.

“No, it’s okay, we were just having a little celebration moment!” Dahlia pulling her hands away snapped Crystal back to reality. Both Gigi’s and Crystal’s eyes were fixed on Dahlia as none of them dared to look at each other.

“Celebrating what?” Gigi asked with a smile before starting on her salad. Crystal jumped in like she had to prove Dahlia nothing was wrong.

“How Dahlia is too smart for her own good,” she said with a smile offered to her girlfriend. Dahlia shyly smiled and looked down at her hands and Crystal knew she had to be the one to explain. “Dahlia is a few years older than us but also, she is far more educated than her peers, let’s say that.”

“Skipped a few years?” Gigi asked curiously, still not looking at Crystal and Dahlia nodded.

“ _A few?_ ” Crystal asked with a mocking voice. “She should have like fifty more years to become a surgical intern but no, a hospital is stealing my girlfriend in a few days!”

“Oh, shut up! I didn’t skip _that_ much!” Dahlia replied jokingly but her cheeks were blushing already.

“Congratulations, Lia! That’s amazing!” Gigi offered Dahlia a sincere hug to congratulate. Then they chatted for a while as guilt ate Crystal from inside. When Dahlia left to head to her faculty for a few paperwork she needed Crystal kissed her goodbye, very aware of Gigi watching them. She focused her eyes on the coffee cup before Gigi talked unexpectedly.

“I know a very curious brunette who would have a few things to say to us right now.” Gigi spoke with a teasing tone, getting on her nerves as planned.

“The brunette is too occupied to be an adult,” Crystal bit her bottom lip nervously as she involuntarily started shaking her leg.

“Talk to her, or I will,” Gigi shifted to a more serious tone. Crystal nodded quickly as tears started filling her eyes. Yes, they haven’t kissed but how she almost did was enough to be not trusted to again. “What the _fuck_ was that anyways?”

A crave. An instinct. An unfamiliar thing that felt too familiar. Crystal had an answer to that, acted like she didn’t.

“I don’t know! Why are you asking me?” Crystal protested before her tone got lower. “I don’t know…”

“God, I don’t want her to get hurt,” Gigi looked away thinking about Dahlia as she inhaled for a long time.

“I was just… very high,” Gigi chuckled in a tone that seemed so harsh to Crystal before turning back to her.

“Remember when you first lectured me and talked about how Matt being drunk wasn’t an excuse?” Crystal knew it wasn’t an excuse, she desperately needed it to be. Crystal still didn’t look up. She had an irrational fear of getting caught up in the moment again, like the last time they were alone.

“I remember,” she thought back to her first real conversation with Gigi in a field somewhere around the campus. “You know this isn’t same, and I will fix the mess I made.”

“I know it isn’t the same,” Gigi answered simply. “Good luck with that.”

Crystal was too naïve to realize Gigi was using the same harsh method she one used on her. Daring, pushing to the edge until she gave in to do the obvious good. The obvious good even if it meant hurting yourself or the others in the process. The obvious good that would hurt her girlfriend.

If Crystal could take Dahlia to an enclosed space and live with her there until the end of their days, she would. She would keep her safe and sound, away from the messiness of the earth and from herself sometimes to protect her. But she couldn’t. She had to be an adult, talk to her girlfriend, and break her heart.

Crystal watched Gigi leave just before Rock and Nicky came to the table, watching with puzzled eyes as Gigi walked away. Luckily, they decided not to ask her about it and instead entertained her with their constant fighting.

“Nicky, why is there an empty space across me with a jacket hanged over the chair?” Rock asked and Nicky got the joke immediately, didn’t miss the chance to miss with Crystal.

“Oh, you mean the friendly neighborhood ghost, Crystal?” Nicky said, looking at Rock.

“Oh, fuck you idiots, I just didn’t text you for two days,” she defended herself with a smile on her face this time.

“Friendly? The ghost just cursed us elegant ladies!” Rock exclaimed as Brita settled in the seat next to Crystal.

“What are you guys talking about?” she said, putting her tray down.

“How we are so very offended at the fact of some curly haired bitch ghosting us.” Nicky smiled to Brita before taking a bite off her food.

“You guys live like two doors away,” Brita stated the obvious. “You could’ve just kick open the door and none of us would complain.”

“I would!” Crystal said, making Brita roll her eyes.

“See?! The ghost doesn’t want Rocky there!” Rock talked to Brita only.

“Is that your ship name?” Crystal laughed, looking at Nicky. She was giving the _“Bitch, don’t even ask,”_ eye roll as she laughed. “I can’t believe you still live in 2012 Wattpad, Rock! It’s like you’ve been living under a…”

“Don’t you dare say it!” Rock tried to stop the awful and meaningless joke but failed as Crystal narrowed her eyes, acting all serious.

“A rock, perhaps!” Nicky hit her forehead with the palm of her hand.

It felt good to be back with her friends. They knew what she needed was a distraction rather than a confrontation, and they were good at it. It felt good to be her funny, old self when she forgot everything momentarily.

Crystal knew this depressed girl she was becoming. She was the girl that was there just one semester ago, the girl who couldn’t enjoy anything. The last thing anyone needed was that Crystal back, especially Crystal herself. She was an excited, art loving, quirky girl and she liked to be that way. She liked herself, except in times like this.

She still had a heart in her hands to break. She wanted to be there to pick the pieces up but at the end of the day, it was all up to Dahlia. She could be totally cool about it or let her go immediately. There was only one way of knowing and Crystal was determined to learn, no matter what the cost was going to be.

She didn’t know if she “loved” Dahlia yet, she still didn’t know what felt off about the relationship. She knew she didn’t want to go back to her depressed self, she knew she didn’t want Dahlia as that either. Two very hard things to achieve at the same time, but Crystal trusted herself to handle it.

She had to handle it, or Gigi Goode would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very little happening with a lot of emotions, i know :-(  
> hope you liked this one, i kind of do.  
> dahlia is a med student bc i couldn't be, and also they sound busy lol


	10. ten

A knock on the door mixed with guilt. A knock to unknown, another knock to responsibility.

Dahlia opened the door and pulled Crystal in, wasted no time to kiss her sloppily whilst trying to strip her out of her jacket. Crystal let Dahlia push her to the wall as the jacket met the floor and pushed herself towards her for a little friction.

Dahlia’s hands found her messy hair and pushed her head back as she made her way to Crystal’s neck to leave a little mark. She found the lips again quickly and kissed her hungry and lustful. Crystal remembered why she was there for a second and pulled away.

“Lia, we need to-“ Dahlia cut her off for another kiss and squeezed her butt cheeks to guide her on her lap. She climbed her and gave another kiss before Dahlia pulled away this time.

“Shhh, I missed you so much…” She whispered to Crystal’s neck as she made it into the bedroom. Dahlia let Crystal down to her bed and took her top off as Crystal did the same for herself. She climbed on top of Crystal, pinning her down before Crystal resisted and switched places with her.

Dahlia’s hands were on Crystal’s bra’s hook as the doorbell rang. They both broke the kiss, pulled away with puzzled looks on both of their faces.

“I’ll get it,” Crystal said and got up from her girlfriend’s. She grabbed one of Dahlia’s cardigans and wear it over her bra. The doorbell rang again just a second before she opened the door without checking first. Her eyes met with Gigi, looking down hesitantly, the moment she opened the door.

“Gigi? What are you doing here?” Dahlia spoke from Crystal’s back. Crystal opened the door further as Dahlia hugged her sheer robe, covering herself with her crossed arms.

“I’m-“ Gigi was at a loss for words. What was she supposed to say? Hey, your girlfriend and I almost kissed and I thought you should know.

“Come on in,” Crystal spoke before walking past both of them, heading to the living room with the open kitchen area. She poured herself a big glass of water as she heard the door closing and both of the girls settling in the living room. Dahlia was sitting on the armchair across the couch as Gigi was on the couch, sitting on the edge of it awkwardly.

Crystal sat on the other edge of the couch, just as awkward as Gigi before drinking her water at once and placing the glass on the coffee table in front of her.

“What am I missing here?” Dahlia asked, slightly panicked as she realized how tense both of the girls were.

“We need to talk,” Gigi said, finally looking up to her.

“Gigi if this is about before I started dating Crys, it’s really not needed,” Dahlia answered with a little smile, looking more relaxed this time. “I know everything, she whined a lot in between the moans.” She joked to lighten to mood as both Crystal and Gigi shuffled uncomfortably at their seats.

“Fuck, Crystal,” Gigi whispered in between her teeth, her eyes back on the table.

“I was here to talk!” Crystal defended herself quickly, her voice cracking towards the end. She hated the position she was put in.

“It has been weeks, you idiot!” Gigi argued back and took her hands to press her palms to her eyes. “And you don’t look like you have been talking.”

Dahlia spoke again, her arched eyebrows high with assumptions she had. “I’m right here.” She simply said, making the girls turn to her again.

“Right, yeah, sorry,” Gigi examined her, sitting with crossed legs and her chest revealed, looking like the beautiful woman she was.

“I’m…” Crystal started but was at a loss for words. “I’m so sorry, Lia, I really am…” She knew she was making things worse but couldn’t help herself from apologizing.

“Crystal, talk already,” Dahlia uncrossed her legs and leaned in closer, putting her elbows on her knees as she played with her nails nervously.

“Remember the night we fought, and I left high and got stuck in the elevator?”

“When we were fighting about the threesomes? I remember,” Dahlia thought back to how her girlfriend made a big deal out of them even though they’ve had plenty before that night.

“I wasn’t alone there… Gigi was with me.” Dahlia turned to Gigi with one of her eyebrows arched. Gigi felt herself get smaller and smaller under her looks.

“Maybe I should leave…” Gigi got up and grabbed her purse and jacket, ready to leave in that second but Dahlia stopped her with a firm hand gesture.

“No, stay,” she said, turning her looks back to Crystal examining the glass on the table. Gigi dropped her shoulders and stood in her place hesitantly. Dahlia turned her eyes back to Gigi, “I’d like you to stay, is that okay?” There was only one right answer to that question. Gigi sat back down as they both looked like naughty kids from outside.

“We were arguing, and Crystal got close to me… In a threatening manner,” Gigi felt the need to support Crystal, she felt just as guilty. “And I almost kissed her…”

“But you didn’t…” Dahlia talked distantly; her mind was full of thoughts she couldn’t comprehend yet. She was looking for a crumble of hope to hold on to in the words of the girls.

“No, I stopped myself,” Gigi answered honestly but there was this warm feeling on her stomach every time she remembered their noses touching.

“But I didn’t pull away,” Crystal continued honestly, her bottom lip trembling already.

“But you didn’t pull away…” Dahlia repeated her girlfriend as her eyes fixed on a point in between the girls, her eyes full of tears.

“Lia, baby,” Crystal got up to sit before her girlfriend, to held her hands as she understood everything. Dahlia pulled her hands away quickly as Crystal cried in front of her.

“Crystal, give me space,” she mumbled under her breath, barely holding her tears in. She sat up and run her hand through her hair as she fixed her looks on the ceiling to not cry. Crystal failed to listen.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she cried with her head resting on Dahlia’s knees. Dahlia pushed her away slightly to get up, got into her bedroom as Crystal got up. She was leaving the robe on the bed they made out minutes ago.

Dahlia run her shaky hand through her hair again, looked around to room to locate her phone. She grabbed it quickly, grabbed her jacket without even throwing on a t-shirt and walked past Crystal to approach the door.

She zipped the jacket up standing before the door hesitantly and shoved the phone in her pocket. Crystal stood beside her, keeping her distance for this time as she turned around slowly.

“I’ll just… walk for a while,” she left with that. Crystal stood frozen in her place as she sniffled. Her brain felt numb, her heart was working overtime as the tightening feeling in her chest increased.

What was she supposed to do now? Go to her dorm, give her space? Or stay and wait, help her understand and help her glue her shattered her heart together?

Crystal hopelessly searched for her jacket and found a cigarette, on her way to the balcony she realized Gigi was still there. She was so lost in her own problems she forgot Gigi was even there in the first place.

“What now?” Gigi asked, making Crystal drop her arms defeatedly as her cardigan opens in the front.

“You should leave,” Crystal exhaled for a long while. Gigi grabbed her purse, didn’t even tried to argue back as she walked towards the door. Crystal hated to watch both Dahlia and her leave, but every one of them needed their space. “Why didn’t you tell her I initiated the kiss?”

Gigi’s hand froze on the door handle. She thought she was the one making it up all this time, thinking Crystal’s intentions were never the same as hers. She never thought about the possibility of Crystal leading her on.

“You did what?” she asked turning back.

“You know I did it! God, now I have to complicate things even more…” Crystal trailed off as she played with the cigarette in her hand mindlessly.

“I never thought about it that way, okay?” Gigi’s walls were up against Crystal, she left no room for any mistakes this time. “Let’s not play the blaming game.”

“Oh, you’re the one to talk…” Crystal turned back and got in the living room, but Gigi followed her.

“Yes, I am! Can you stop with the ‘but you blamed me’ storyline?” She was practically screaming at this point. “You’re not a child, you know it was a down moment for me.”

“Down in what way, Gigi?! Down in _‘I got cheated on again, I can’t complain because Crystal warned me’_ kind of way or down in ‘ _what if Crystal goes for Matt’_ kind of way?” Crystal clenched her fists, facing the girl.

“You see the common person there, figure it out yourself since you’re the relationship master!” Gigi walked closer to Crystal still kept a little distance, remembering the way the last time things ended.

“You are the common person there, you idiot!” Crystal spat out the fact to Gigi’s face. “You are the common person who doesn’t know how to communicate at your age. Have you ever looked at it this way?”

“Oh because you are the most mature person ever, claiming you were here to talk when you are both half naked!” Gigi’s eyes accidentally slipped on Crystal’s chest for a second and the tension in the room increased even more.

“We haven’t seen each other for a while, she is a surgical intern with no time for this bullshit,” Crystal sat on the arm of the couch. “She will never forgive me.” Her tone was lower, and her voice was husky after all the yelling. Her eyes filled again as Gigi turned around, still as mad and got out, slamming the door so harsh that it made Crystal jump.

Crystal stayed there for a while, only left when her body craved nicotine. She smoked but it wasn’t the same with smoking with Dahlia. The little conversations they had on the balcony was special for her. She got back in, went to the bathroom to fill the bathtub, and make it ready for Dahlia. Crystal was certain she would come back; she was never the kind to run away from confrontation.

Meanwhile Dahlia was still outside, sitting in her car and unable to move. She couldn’t gather her thoughts to form a complete one without getting distracted by another aspect of the story. She finally moved when she saw Gigi leave with fast steps, started the car, and turned around sharply to catch on her.

“Gigi!” She called, rolling the window down. Gigi got startled but stopped for her anyways. “Can we talk? Just the two of us?” Gigi wanted to say no and run from both her and Crystal but was too emotionally invested to run at that point.

“Sure,” she mumbled and got in the car. Dahlia drove for a minute or so, until she found a place to park. She lighted a cigarette, reminding Crystal to Gigi and offered one to her. “No, thanks,” Dahlia inhaled deep before talking.

“Do you still like her?” She went straight to the point.

“Is that what she tells about me? That I like her?” They were both looking away from each other.

“No, but I listened to enough stories of you to know for myself,” she took another inhale as she turned to Gigi. “So, do you?”

Gigi hesitated at first. She didn’t know Dahlia enough to foresee her reaction. “Yes, I do.” A broken smile formed on Dahlia’s face as she looked away. “Dahlia, I would never actively do anything to get in between you two.”

“Never? You wouldn’t ever stop halfway for a kiss with my girlfriend?” Gigi realized her mistake and hated her gut for guiding her towards the kiss. The stupid, non-existent kiss that still tingled her lips.

“Never again…” she mumbled under her breath, but it wasn’t enough to convince Dahlia.

“How the hell am I supposed to trust you? Any of you?” Gigi couldn’t answer the question this time. Dahlia threw the cigarette butt away, turned to Gigi as she watched outside. They stayed like that for a while, both of their minds full of chaos.

Dahlia started the car once again and drove to Gigi’s dorm building in silence. Gigi opened the door when she pulled but didn’t leave the car right away. “She wants nothing to do with me, you know that,” she started, halfway out as her back was facing Dahlia. “As much as it shatters me, I’m over for her… Trust her for this.” Dahlia stayed to pull herself together even after she left.

Meanwhile, Crystal spent hours waiting, finally gave in to drink a bottle or two of wine by herself in the couch. She changed to her girlfriend’s pajamas, but the vanilla smell just reminded her the night of guilt. Guilt was a big part of her in these days. It was in the coffee she brought to Dahlia in between her shifts, in the t-shirt of hers she refused to give back, in Gigi’s eyes when they meet every once in a while…

Dahlia arrived home after sunrise to find Crystal sleeping on the couch in her pajamas. She looked so peaceful sleeping with her curly hair frizzy all over face, but all Dahlia could see was the woman who didn’t pull away from the kiss.

She grabbed a blanket and put it over Crystal as she shifted around. She got into her bathroom then, only to be greeted by burned out candles and a cold bath. She cried, still a little drunk from the night she spent drinking with her friends and left there quickly to stop in front of the living room’s door in her way.

She held her hand on her mouth to conceal her sobbing as Crystal slept beautifully _. I wish I didn’t love you,_ she thought before leaving to sleep before her shift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey... i'm sorry, i love dahlia too but it is what it is...  
> see you in the next chap! special forehead kisses will be given to whoever comments haha


	11. eleven

Crystal woke up to find herself snuggled under the blanket she knew she didn’t sleep with. The sun coming from the window was hitting her directly in the eye as she groaned and sat up on the couch. Yesterday’s memories came back to her as she saw Dahlia cooking in the kitchen.

Crystal narrowed her eyes and examined Dahlia. She was already dressed up, wearing a pair of professional looking trousers and a sweater with short heels. Her makeup was beautiful but wasn’t enough to cover her puffy, sleepy eyes.

“Oh, Crys!” She finally realized being watched and got startled for a second. “Morning.”

“Morning, Lia,” Crystal rubbed her eyes as she spoke hesitantly. “Leaving for a shift?”

“Yes, the intensiveness of the job continues,” Dahlia embraced a serious tone to joke as she placed her scrambled eggs on her toast. Crystal took her time to decide what to do.

“I’m sorry I wasted your day off,” was all she could mumble at first.

“Oh, that’s your priority?” Dahlia lightly joked but realized how tense Crystal was as she met her eyes. “It’s okay, Crys. I’m ready to talk if you are.” She spoke with a tender voice.

“You’re not mad?” Crystal asked in a quiet tone as she snatched the covers off her body. She sat on one of the highchairs before the counter and watched Dahlia think with furrowed eyebrows. Dahlia poured her a glass of water, knowing she wouldn’t eat right away and placed it in front of her.

“I simmered down,” Dahlia said with a little reassuring smile. “Just a little broken but, it will pass.”

“I would understand if you wanted to take a break…” Crystal answered looking down. Dahlia reached for her hand and squeezed it lightly.

“Crystal, I told you, I’m not mad,” she took the hand to her mouth to leave a kiss on Crystal’s knuckles. “We went into this relationship thing so quick. I get how you were still confused, especially after the fight and everything I told you…”

“I proved you right, Lia,” A tear streamed down Crystal’s eye slowly. “I’m sorry.”

“You can’t make me cry before work!” Dahlia sniffled with full eyes as Crystal looked up at her. “It’s okay… We’re okay.”

Dahlia held Crystal from her chin to pull her closer. They’ve shared hundreds of kisses before but this one, it felt different. It was filled with all sorts of emotions: happiness, a little bit of guilt still hunting Crystal down, relief… It tasted so sour and so sweet at the same time, and a little bit of salty because of all the crying Crystal was doing.

Their relationship went back to normal mostly. Dahlia was still pretty busy, making it hard to see each other but Crystal, still haunted with guilt, made sure to align their schedules as much as possible. She made sure to visit her in the calm hours of her shifts, spending most of the time in somewhere discreet and making out mostly.

The only thing that didn’t go back to normal was Dahlia towards Gigi. With Crystal failing to mention herself launching it all, Dahlia put her walls up so high against Gigi it was almost impossible for Gigi to make conversation with her. Gigi hated the sudden change of dynamic but tried to project her energy into other things, like her art.

The girls were sitting around Jackie and Gigi’s room, chatting about mostly school related stuff on a Saturday morning when Crystal’s phone rang. The name on the screen made her shift uncomfortably, knowing if she knew where Crystal was right then it would be cold between them again.

“Hey, baby,” Crystal answered softly as she got up to leave for the balcony. Nicky, who was sitting by her side, replaced her quickly to continue her conversation with Jaida easier.

“Hey, Crys!” Dahlia answered with much more enthusiasm as the familiar guilt filled Crystal’s gut.

“How are you? We haven’t talked since…”

“Since the 8-hour surgery, I know! It went amazing, it was such a rush…” Dahlia trailed off for a second, then it went silent between them. “Crys, I know I promised to go to the party with you tonight but there is this amazing case I barely could get my hands on…”

There was almost every time something more important than her in Dahlia’s life. Crystal knew she couldn’t be mad at her for trying to be a good doctor but hated not seeing her girlfriend for long periods of time. She was about to talk when she heard the door open behind her and turned around to see who it was.

“Brita asked me to hand this to you,” Gigi spoke, holding out her cardigan for her. She was the one sitting closer to the door, so it made sense for them to send her.

“Thank you,” Crystal smiled and grabbed the cardigan. She put it over her arms sloppily as Gigi closed the door and left. She could hear Dahlia inhale for a long time in the phone.

“Where are you?” She asked simply. Crystal hated her girlfriend not trusting her enough but couldn’t blame her for it.

“Gigi and Jackie’s room with the rest of the girls,” she said as she leaned into the iron bars. “Lia, you have to have a little trust in me if you want this relationship to work.”

“I know… I’m sorry,” she wasn’t. “See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.” Crystal placed her phone down to the chair behind her and wore the cardigan properly. She snuggled in but it didn’t warm her up, her heart’s coldness prevented it. She heard the door open again but didn’t turn to look.

“You okay here?” Brita asked as she closed the door. Crystal smiled a little to how absurd things were.

“She cancelled again,” she turned to Brita as she stood beside her.

“Isn’t this like the third time she cancelled this week?” Crystal nodded with full eyes but her little smile didn’t leave her lips. “Oh, baby, I’m so sorry.” She let Brita embrace her in a hug, talked again when she let her go with their hands intertwined.

“It’s okay…” Crystal lied to lessen her friend’s worries. “Bri, she heard Gigi and I could hear was the distance she put in between us… I swear to you I could hear her get cold. I can’t blame her; she doesn’t trust me at all, and I can’t blame her for it.” She sobbed before wiping her tears away.

“We are done with blaming, remember?” Brita squeezed Crystal’s hand lightly to encourage her. “Trust takes two people to build. You are doing your part, it’s up to her now, okay?”

“Okay…” Crystal nodded slowly as she wiped the last of her tears away.

“Come on, let’s go back inside, you’re already so cold,” Crystal could barely feel it. Brita opened the door for them as Crystal grabbed her phone. She went back to Gigi’s bed, sitting where Nicky used to sit to isolate herself from the conversation. Everyone in the room realized the sudden change of the mood shift but no one acknowledge it to not bother Crystal.

“Oh my god, look at the time!” Nicky snatched Crystal’s attention as she held her phone out and yelled. “We should go get ready.”

“Some of us don’t need five hours to put makeup on, Nicky,” Brita joked from the bed across.

“Yeah, some of us are just naturally beautiful,” Rock batted her eyelashes as Nicky rolled her eyes.

“Well, bitch, it’s clearly not you,” she said getting up. Crystal held her hand out for Nicky, she grabbed it and pulled her to help her get up.

“See you guys at the front door in an hour?” Brita asked to no one in particular as the girls agreed. Then they left as Rock and Nicky continued to argue and Brita walked behind with eerily quiet Crystal. She was plotting ways to stay in her dorm instead when Rock turned around like she read her mind.

“Don’t you dare cancel!” she pointed her finger at Crystal threateningly. Crystal was left speechless and mumbled under her breath before saying something that made sense. “I know you, and I know going out will be good for you,”

“That was when going out was for picking up people,” Crystal answered, thinking back to her days spent with all genders of people trying to snatch herself back from depression.

“Come on, Crys! We’ll get drunk and dance, what is better than that?” Nicky joined the conversation and slowed down to walk next to Crystal.

“Sleeping.” Crystal deadpanned, making Nicky hit her lightly in the arm. “Okay! I’ll come! No need to abuse me, you weirdo,” Rock and Nicky shared a high five and left the girls for their room.

Brita knew how much Crystal dreaded her decision already, so she helped her pick her clothes. She made it sound like they were picking together as she handed Crystal the straight legged black leather pants with a cheetah print top and dressed herself as Crystal did her barely-makeup makeup. 

The party was overwhelming to Crystal. She hated walking there, hated it was a house party, hated the loud music, hated to be standing alone drinking cheap beer. It was hours into the night, and she was barely light-headed dancing mindlessly with Nicky. The French girl was already wasted, twerking for her as she tried to get away for a smoke break. She saw Jan carrying Gigi in the corner of her eye and guided Nicky there.

“Swap?” Jan yelled to Crystal’s ear as Gigi giggled to Nicky and proceeded to dance with her.

“She is just as bad!” Crystal answered as she glanced judging looks to her friends dancing. Gigi’s mini pink dress was riding even more up as she danced with Nicky and Crystal could barely keep her eyes off. “God, I need to smoke!”

“Take Gigi! She just giggles,” Jan pulled Nicky closer and left no choice for Crystal. She felt bad as she grabbed Gigi from her waist and guided her outside and Jan took Nicky to where everyone was dancing again. She seated her on the back-porch’s stairs and stood next to them.

“Crys?” Gigi giggled looking at her, slurring the name. “What if I kissed you again, like that one night?”

“Oh you’re drunk-drunk,” Crystal lighted her cigarette as Gigi giggled again. “I should’ve just kissed you back, I fought so much not to.”

Gigi exaggeratedly got shocked as Crystal shrugged. “You? Miss Too Good for Her Own Good? You would never! Why are you confessing?”

“Yeah, idiot, that’s why I didn’t,” she let out a smoke cloud. “I don’t think you will remember a second of this.”

“Yeah,” Gigi talk between hiccups. “I probably won’t.” Crystal caught Gigi last second as she tried to lean to non-existent railing. She laughed as Crystal guided her back up with the cigarette held between her teeth. Gigi stopped laughing as soon as she realized how close the two were and all she could do was admire with big eyes.

“What now?” Crystal asked taking the cigarette back in between her fingers.

“You’re so pretty,” the black-haired girl’s eyes filled with tears. “It’s not fair! I’m almost over you!” She whined like a little child.

“Have you even eaten today? How much did you even drink?” Crystal ignored all the praising and the ‘over you’ part since thinking about it burned her throat with pain.

“Nope,” she said, popping the ‘p’, “I overworked until my fingers were too sore to sew.”

“Geeg, that doesn’t sound healthy,” Crystal said with a concerned look.

“Well your relationship doesn’t sound healthy either, am I minding your business?” Drunk Gigi was cruel. Crystal was taken back with the comment, not realizing how much Gigi was aware of before.

“It’ll pass…”

“That’s what I’ve said! Remember?” Gigi laughed again and it stung. “Hypocrite…”

“What did you just call me?” Crystal asked, fully knowing what she was being called.

“I called you what you are,” she defended herself, making dramatic gestures. “You didn’t fully confess; I can see right through your guilt.” Even though she spoke the truth, drunk Gigi was fully showing with all the pointer-finger-on-chest-while-threatening act. “That’s keeping us apart and you hate it because admit it or not, you liked our friendship as much as I did.”

“Yeah, I miss being around you! Happy now?” Crystal knew fighting with her in this stage was pointless, but she did anyways. “That doesn’t mean I’m in an unhealthy relationship.”

“You guys have no chemistry outside of bed, we had a lot of that.” Gigi mumbled as Crystal bit her bottom lip. “Are you going to fuck Miss Mixed Feelings now?” She ended with a happy tone, slurring all the words in the sentence, and reminding Crystal her state again.

“I’m taking Mixed Feelings back to Jan, she is annoying me!” Crystal threw the cigarette on the ground and crushed it with her heeled boot. Gigi leaned down to grab it as Crystal held her to keep her from falling face down.

“You’re like her now! Littering!” she held the cigarette butt up like it was treasure. “You’re not this unhappy, girlfriend driven, cold person! This isn’t you!” Gigi’s tone was high like Crystal’s normal tone, well her old normal tone.

“Okay, too much talking Gigi,” Crystal helped Gigi get up and guided her back inside in between giggles.

“Jan is busy trying to put Nicky and Jaida together, you will never find her!”

That was news Crystal had to investigate, but Gigi wasn’t the right person to ask then. She found Jackie rather quickly as she didn’t like the dancing and hung around where most people were sitting and handed Gigi over as she was still giggling. She left as soon as she knew Gigi was safe, walking by herself in the cold night as tears streamed down her cheeks all the way back.

Gigi was fully right at everything she said and Crystal hated it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updates will slow down a little since i'm a little busy but here's another one!


	12. twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember when i said the updates were slowing down? that was a lie,,,,,

Crystal walked and walked, not even minding where she was heading for several minutes. Her dorm was left far back when she realized where her subconscious was taking her. She was headed to her old comfort zone, back in Dahlia’s arms, even though she wanted to avoid her at all costs.

She swallowed her pride and headed in the apartment, letting herself in with the spare keys Dahlia handed her. She climbed the stairs quickly and stood before the door to calm herself down, wiped her tears of with the backs of her hands as she regulated her breathing. She knocked cowardly, once only but Dahlia opened the door quickly.

“Hey baby! I just got back, come in,” she greeted her and headed back inside. Her kindness irritated Crystal, it reminded her how awful she was. She left her jacket and followed her inside.

“I was just at the party and… I don’t know, it felt off,” she said settling on the couch uncomfortably. The feeling of not belonging was out of her chest now, conquering her whole body.

“Oh,” Dahlia said quietly, sitting beside her on the arm of the couch. “What happened? Were you with someone?” Crystal knew the meaning behind those questions, she hated them for mostly how they were right.

“Just the girls…” she lied to her girlfriend again. “I was taking care of drunk Nicky most of the time, then Gigi for a little while.” _No more lies,_ she thought to herself.

“Cool,” Dahlia answered simply before checking the watch on her wrist.

“You’re not jealous?” Crystal asked boldly. Mind games were never their thing.

“No, I’m not jealous,” Dahlia said with furrowed eyebrows. It went silent for a while. “Would you prefer me to be, or do I need to?”

“Lia, I can see right through your lie.” Crystal looked up to Dahlia. Meeting her eyes took a lot of bravery. Dahlia just gulped as she glanced away, swallowed her feelings to not cause a fight.

“I said I’m not jealous, Crys,” she got up, needing her space. “I’m so hungry, are you?” she said walking towards the kitchen.

“Stop being all kind and loving!” Crystal got up yelling, making Dahlia stop where she was.

“Why the fuck would you want that?” she asked after a while, turning on her heels to face the furious brunette.

“Because the guilt is eating me up! Fight me, yell at me, hate me!”

“Why, Crystal? What the fuck is wrong with you?” Dahlia yelled back, obeying Crystal’s wishes unwillingly.

“Lia,” Crystal got quieter suddenly and turned her eyes away. She ran her hand through her hair as the bravery left her soul as quick as it entered, leaving her in a dead end of confessing. “I initiated the stupid, non-existent kiss. I got close to her, I glanced at her stupid lips too long, I didn’t pull away when she was about to end what I started.” She talked quick but her girlfriend understood every word of it as every single one of them stung to her heart.

“You did what?” Dahlia asked, hoping to hear it all wrong with her tired state of mind.

“I started it all, and I’m so fucking riddled with guilt and confusion because I _really_ like you, but I did all of that with you never leaving my mind for a second.”

Dahlia walked closer to Crystal as she looked down, grabbed her wrists to shake her up from her slightly tipsy and self-hating state. Crystal tried to pull away from the longer girl’s grip but all she could do was struggle under her strength.

“Look at me,” Dahlia ordered her as she shook her head furiously. “Look at me in the eye!” Crystal obeyed and looked at her with full eyes and a trembling bottom lip. “I’m so fucking mad at you, it’s impossible to explain.”

“Let me go then! Let me go and find the happiness you deserve in someone else!” Dahlia pulled Crystal closer and let go of one of her wrists. Her hand rose on her body, not lustful but threateningly.

“I can’t, but I will,” she said as her hand found Crystal’s neck.

“Why?” Crystal whispered as she raised her head closer to the jet-black haired girl.

“Because I love you. I hate that I love you, but I do,” Dahlia pulled Crystal in a heated kiss, tightening her hand on the shorter girl’s neck slightly. Crystal kissed back as she groaned in her girlfriend’s mouth as a response and let Dahlia guide her to the couch back to her.

She pinned the shorter girl down as she got rid of her sweater, revealing her breasts since she wasn’t wearing a bra. She kissed Crystal again, tugging on her cheetah print top as she raised slightly to let her take it off. She pulled the black bralette of her down, not bothering to remove it to leave teasing tongue touches on her pierced nipple. Crystal tried touching her back, but Dahlia grabbed the hand and pinned it up on her head.

Crystal moaned as Dahlia found her nipple again, pulling roughly with her piercing in between her teeth. She tried to raise her hips to get a little friction on Dahlia’s hips on hers, but Dahlia guided her down again, not letting her get it.

Dahlia’s touch on her body was lustful but it felt hateful at the same time. Hateful in a humiliating way, lustful in the best foreplay they’ve ever had. She left bruised around both of her nipples, Crystal tried to touch her with her other hand, but Dahlia pinned it next to her other one, right on her messy curly hair.

“You don’t get to touch me tonight, understood?” Crystal shook her head, shocked by the sudden change of act in Dahlia. “Use your words.”

“Lia…” Crystal mumbled as she felt the over wetness on her lace panties.

“Dahlia,” she fixed, waiting when they were so close in a way Crystal couldn’t reach her as her hair brushed off Crystal’s sensitive nipples.

“Dahlia, please, fuck me,” she could barely choked out. Dahlia let her hands go, sliding herself down on the leather pants of Crystal.

“Good girl,” she whispered, hands already on the zipper. She pulled the soft leather material in a time what felt like forever to Crystal. “You’re already so fucking wet,” she pulled away, standing close and brushing over her panties with her thumb. “Is the guilt turning you on?” she mocked, looking straight into Crystal as she tried to reach her.

“Please,” she begged as Dahlia pulled her hand away again, frustrated with her this time.

“I won’t fuck you if you won’t obey me,” Dahlia reached up again and kissed Crystal’s neck, close to her ear as her knee pushed over the soaked lace. “Will you obey me?” she whispered to her ear

Crystal groaned, too over-filled with desire to answer but knew she wouldn’t get what she wanted if she didn’t speak. “Yes, Dahlia… Yes, I will,” her voice was husky, barely audible but it was enough for Dahlia to go back down.

It felt amazing and humiliating at the same time. Crystal felt like she was being punished for her sins but also felt like she was being rewarded. It was a battle of dominance, a battle for Crystal within herself.

Crystal moaned under Dahlia’s tongue hitting her right in the spot where she needed her, arched her back to attempt trying to get closer to her. Dahlia pulled away just a few inches. “This isn’t going to work, us… We won’t work,” she inserted a finger in.

“No,” Crystal said in between her groaning.

She slipped in another finger easily. “Because you’re in love with her when I’m in love with you,” she talked, her lips slightly touching Crystal’s folds. Crystal couldn’t respond with Dahlia’s mouth back on her, only replied with moans. “We’ll end this the way we started it.”

And then Crystal moaned her name for the last time, ending it all with the way how it all started. She moaned her name as her mind whined _Gigi_ again and again, guilt riddled up all over her like the first time they’ve had sex.

Dahlia rid her through her orgasm as Crystal collapsed on the couch, sweaty with her curly baby hairs sticking on her forehead. She took a second to collect herself, breathing shakily with her eyes closed as she tried to understand what just went down. She didn’t take her time there but the first thing she realized as she opened her eyes was Dahlia walking towards the door. She heard the door open and close, realizing she was left alone.

She got up and got dressed, then sat on the couch for several minutes with her makeup all messed up as she rubbed her eyes. It was a full circle with their relationship, and she couldn’t even feel sad about it. When she got back up again her legs were still shaky. She went all around the house to collect her belongings, which wasn’t a lot anyways. Before she knew it, she was in the door, looking at the house for one last time.

It was filled with pleasure; pleasure they’ve had together and pleasure to get to know Dahlia. Thinking back, she didn’t regret a second of it. She went back to her room to sleep until noon, making her way between the apartment and the dorm in this way for one last time.

Brita was surprised to find Crystal on her bed, sleeping soundly and even her makeup taken off when she woke up at noon. Crystal woke up to the shuffling in the room not too long after and the first thing she realized was how they weren’t alone in the room.

“What time is it?” she asked, battling with the blanket on her body.

“Why are you here?” Nicky asked impatiently.

“This is my room?” she said with her high tone, making Nicky roll her eyes from the chair she was sitting on.

“Jackie said you left all shaken after you handed Gigi to her,” Brita stated from the bed across.

“Yeah, uhm, turns out drunk Gigi doesn’t have communication issues,” she mumbled sitting up. “She talked about you and Jaida too, you sneaky bitch,” she said, turning her head to Nicky. The French girl blushed and glanced away with a little smile on her lips as Crystal gasped.

“Nicky has a crush,” Rock said with a singing voice, making Nicky stick her tongue out to her like a child.

“You have a crush on the friend of the girl you slept all around with? And you tell me I’m the twisted one?” Crystal teased her further as Brita’s deep laugh filled the room.

“Oh shut up! She had a crush on me first!” Crystal’s mouth opened with shock with the news.

“You guys are so fake for not telling me about this earlier! Spill, bitch!” Then Nicky proceeded to tell how she stopped the whole physical thing with Jan when they realized how uncomfortable it made Jaida. How Jaida drunkenly confessed to Gigi, which drunkenly told Jan and how Nicky developed a crush on her as they started hanging out more.

“And Gigi is the one with the communication issues when these two can’t confess the stupid mutual thing.” Nicky threw a brush from Crystal’s table to Rock, which she dodged last second.

“We don’t know if it’s still mutual!” she protested.

“Yeah, tell yourself that,” Brita said before turning to Crystal. “Don’t think I’ve realized how you avoided talking.”

“I didn’t!” she protested, putting her hands up. “We broke up.” The reaction was mixed. They were all shocked first, then sad for Crystal for a second as Brita examined Crystal with furrowed eyebrows.

“Can I stop acting surprised now?” Rock asked out of nowhere, making Crystal chuckle.

“How did it go?” Nicky asked, completely ignoring Rock.

“Pretty awkward, like our whole relationship,” Crystal joked but realized how they were expecting a real answer. “She told me she loved me, she told me I loved Gigi, break up sex, then she left unannounced.”

“Well that’s a rollercoaster of emotions,” Brita said, trying to understand how Crystal was feeling.

“Thank god I’m single!” Rock joked and they all giggled, then got serious again. “How do you feel?”

“I feel like it worked the way it should’ve, not to be an Insta-mom but yeah, very that,” she said thinking back.

“Now that we got this sorted out, I promised Jaida to help her with a garment,” Nicky got up from the chair.

“I should’ve been in the library 5 minutes ago, see you guys tonight?” Rock asked checking her phone for the time.

“What’s tonight?” Crystal asked, turning to Brita as the girls left.

“Another girls night in.” Crystal felt the butterflies on her stomach as the idea of seeing Gigi hit her. She didn’t believe she loved Gigi as Dahlia claimed it, but she knew it was more than friendship towards her.

Crystal counted seconds until the night, wanting to be with her friends and more importantly, spend time with Gigi without the guilt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i might have gone too far with the Dahlia storyline, like 10 chapters far...   
> hope you like this one! smut isn't my thing but i tried! leave a comment if you like this, i appreciate them way more than i should haha


	13. thirteen

**Gigi:** we are at jan’s room

 **Gigi:** are you coming? i need a number for the tall glasses, sorry for bothering

Crystal felt weird for being this excited over a message when her relationship ended hours ago but that didn’t stop her from answering right away.

 **Crys:** i’ll be there in a sec, and you’re not bothering at all

She got up from her bed, leaving her tablet there to go to her bathroom to take a look at herself one last time. She tightened her curls with her hands, fixed her tinted lip balm like it was lipstick. She knew she was making a night with friends a big deal, and it still felt surreal to be single again.

“Act normal you idiot!” she told to herself in the mirror before leaving her room with long pajama bottoms and a crop top only. She made her way upstairs quickly and knocked on the door beside Gigi and Jackie’s room. Jaida opened the door for her with a cup on her other hand.

“Get in loser, we’re getting drunk,” she joked walking back in the room and sitting beside Nicky. Crystal closed the door behind her and turned to room to decide where to sit, realizing in between Gigi and Rock was her only choice.

“Sorry, I was drawing,” she said to no one in particular while sitting down, crossing her legs. “Are we using games to get drunk again?”

“Duh,” Nicky said, handing her a glass. “Give us your first never have I ever.”

“Never have I ever… had a crush on my friend,” Crystal took her chance to tease her friend. Nicky got red all of a sudden as most of them drank, she looked away from Jaida as Jaida did the same for her.

“Never have I ever had a one-night stand,” Jaida took it over. Nicky, Crystal, Jan, and Jackie drank at the same time.

“Auntie J?” Gigi asked laughing, she certainly was not the type. Jackie responded with a shrug as she changed her shot glass with a full one.

“Never have I ever faked it,” Jackie said and all the non-lesbians in the group drank while groaning.

“It’s the men!” Crystal whined, putting her glass down.

“Mine was a girl,” Rock said from her side. “She thought teasing was being so slow that I forgot her.”

“Never have I ever been choked during sex,” Rock asked, reminding Crystal Dahlia’s grip on her yesterday. She was the only one that drank and realized all the curious looks on her as she lowered the glass.

“Just yesterday,” she mumbled as Gigi shifted uncomfortably. “It was like light choking? I don’t even know, maybe it doesn’t count…”

“Your idea of breakup sex involves choking?” Nicky asked mockingly, examining Crystal’s neck as she shyly laughed.

“Like we don’t know how kinky you are,” her comeback wasn’t strong since she kept looking down, playing with the rim of the empty glass.

“You guys broke up?” Jaida asked curiously.

“She broke up with me,” Crystal answered. “It’s okay, let’s move on.” Gigi glanced at Crystal, who failed to realize the eyes on her this time. She didn’t know what to think of it, decided to give Crystal her space for a while but being her friend again excited her.

The game went on for a while since Brita didn’t want to play truth or dare after the complaints they received the last time. Slowly, they were all becoming tipsy, Nicky more than everyone. Crystal was the one to break the game to take a cigarette break, Nicky went right after her.

“I’ll strangle you!” she whisper-yelled to Crystal, slurring the words slightly.

“I’m helping you! You guys looked away almost in unison it was adorable,” she said lighting her cigarette. Nicky put one in between her teeth, blushing as Crystal lighted it for her.

“Do you really think she likes me?” she asked looking away.

“Nicky, I don’t know what possessed you to be shy. She absolutely likes you.” Crystal let out a smoke cloud, examining Nicky’s odd behavior.

“I never had a real relationship,” she mumbled under her breath, sobering up a little more with the cold and the cigarette.

“You’ll be fine, I promise you. You can’t just sit back and expect things to come to you! Look at Gigi and me, all we did was let the fate decide for us.” Crystal said after a short while of silent smoking. Nicky looked away thoughtfully.

“I don’t want to date someone I don’t actually want to for weeks like you!” she joked but her tone was different than her usual, bitchy self.

“I liked her, I just liked someone more.” Crystal accepted, mostly to herself, as she dragged the cigarette on the ashtray. She opened the door of the balcony as Nicky looked at her confused. “Jaida, Nicky needs you for a second,” she said towards the room, making Jaida’s eyebrows raise with suspicion.

“You fucking bitch! That’s why we never tell you anything,” Nicky whisper-yelled once again but her face shifted quickly seeing Jaida approach her. Crystal went in the room and closed the door, leaving the two there. She sat again on the same spot, but Rock was further away this time, engaged in a conversation with Jan.

“I told you while I was drunk, didn’t I?” Gigi asked, turning her whole body towards Crystal. “They told me not to tell you specifically, talked about how you loved other people’s business, but I knew that one already.”

“Well I love confrontation, opposite of you Miss Goode,” she joked, mirroring Gigi and turning to her.

“I’m sure I was very talkative while I was drunk,” Gigi chuckled, tucking one of her black strands behind her ear. “Come on, what did I say?”

“Something about me fucking Miss Mixed Feelings was very memorable,” Crystal giggled as Gigi groaned, hiding her face away with her hands.

“Oh god! Miss Mixed Feelings again?” she talked into her hand as the sound came to Crystal muffled. Crystal nodded smiling as she took her hands away. “Did I affect your breakup?” she asked sheepishly.

“Confrontation! That’s a nice look on you,” Crystal joked before giving her the real answer. “The truth affected it. I’m sorry for all the drama,”

“No… It’s okay,” Gigi took her eyes away to look for her glass filled with some sweet beverage. “How do you feel?”

How did Crystal feel? That was a question she didn’t know the answer to yet. She was numb for the most part, not realizing everything fully but also happy to get rid of all the negative emotions that surrounded her for the longest time. A part of her was broken but she knew it was for the best, for Dahlia mostly.

“I’m fine, just worried for Lia… Dahlia a little bit,” the nickname seemed wrong to use now.

“I don’t think that’s necessary. She is a smart, strong woman; I genuinely liked her,” Gigi’s answer was not the most helpful advice.

“Well, so were you,” Crystal answered but Gigi was busy looking towards the balcony. Crystal turned to look at it and saw the kissing girls’ shadow on the tulle over the door. She nudged Rock quickly and gestured towards the door.

“I tried the same thing yesterday!” Jan protested as Crystal giggled.

“It’s the Crystal touch,” Brita answered, glancing away from the door.

“Well, it better work for me too,” Crystal joked before turning back to Gigi, still looking at the door with big eyes. “Puppy eyes!” she said with a little smile, turning her attention back to her.

“That’s our work! Well, I confessed accidentally but that’s our work!” she said ignoring the comment. Crystal raised her hand for a high five, Gigi left their hands together for a second. “Your hands are so small!” she said with a laugh as Crystal pulled her hand back.

“No they are not!” she protested, already away from the serious conversation. Gigi reached for her hand again, lining them together to compare while giggling.

“How did I never realize this before?” she laughed again and looked up to see annoyed Crystal. She pulled away suddenly, realizing how close they were as the tipsy mind of her panicked.

“Maybe your hands are big,” Crystal didn’t seem to realize how Gigi panicked as she drank some more. Then they heard the balcony door open, Nicky and Jaida leaving hand in hand.

“We have some talking to do,” Nicky said, blushing already. “We’ll be in my room. Is that okay, Rock?”

“Of course,” Rock smiled to them as they left, then she turned to Brita like she was her mother. “I’m getting sleepy again!”

“When are you not sleepy?” Brita asked but not really, pulling her up from the ground to guide her to Jaida’s bed. Rock sat there, smiling sleepily, and examined Crystal and Gigi talking in their own bubble for a second.

“Look how cute they are mom!” she pointed at them, making both of them blush looking down as Brita tried to make her sleep.

“God,” Jackie hiccupped, “Did we go too quick?” she asked, holding her stomach.

“Please don’t throw up, I can’t suffer from you not handling a game,” Jan said with her skin paler.

“We weren’t quick, you guys were,” Brita said since the girls were already few shots in when she went there. Gigi and Crystal was already back to their conversation, looking like they were arguing lightly over whatever they were talking about.

“Too late,” Jackie ran to the bathroom. Crystal got up quickly to help her, as her head spun from getting up too quick while tipsy, she was used to this by being friends with Nicky. She held Jackie’s thick hair and caressed her back, then helped her wash her face. She guided her back in the room to give her water and found Brita and Rock alone in the room, Brita tucking Rock in.

Gigi entered back in from the balcony with her face sour as she let Jan down on her bed, “She puked to the garden, from sixth floor,” Crystal giggled and let Jackie sit beside her.

“You okay now?” she asked the Persian girl as she nodded barely. “Okay, I’m glad Auntie,” Jackie smiled a little before making her way under the covers of Jaida. Then she turned to Brita standing over Rock. “Bri, should we go?”

“I think I should stay with her, she doesn’t seem too good,” she answered as Jan started snoring lightly.

“Okay then, call me if you need anything,” Crystal answered, and Gigi nodded frantically to agree. She giggled to her behavior before opening the door for both of them. They stood in the hall for a second as an odd silent filled the air.

“So, uhm…” they mumbled at the same time, then Gigi made a hand gesture to say ‘go ahead’ to Crystal. “Are we the mothers of the group now?”

“We are the responsible adults, that’s for sure,” she said, smiling big and looking down. “Should we spy on Nicky and Jaida?” she asked excitedly, still proud of her achievement she had no say in.

“Geege, your drunk is showing,” Crystal replied to her enthusiasm, “Would you be fine alone?”

Gigi would’ve been fine alone. She was just spying level drunk, not talking about her feelings to the worse person possible level drunk, but she wanted to spend more time with Crystal. She was missing her friend and the little interaction they’ve had wasn’t enough. She was also worried Crystal wasn’t as good as she claimed.

“Actually… Would you mind staying with me? We can be closer to the girls this way too,” Crystal wasn’t expecting the offer but still agreed and followed Gigi to the room next door.

Gigi opened the door for them and switched the light on. The room was as tidy as she remembered, there was no doubt the perfectionist duo was living there. Gigi hanged her keys to their place neatly as Crystal went to sit on her bed. Gigi was taken back seeing her there, but she was too tired to care as she sat on the other side of the bed.

They both examined their hands for a while, none of them knowing what to say.

“Crys, my eyes are hurting, could you turn off the lights?” Gigi talked finally. Crystal got up and switched it off, then stood in the middle of the room not knowing what to do. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Crystal said, not looking at her tall figure. “Should I sleep in Jackie’s bed?” Sober Crystal would slap the tipsy Crystal for the awkward question if she was there.

“Come here, we can continue our conversation a little,” Crystal’s heart went wild with Gigi showing her under the covers.

She climbed to the bed and they sat together, their knees clashing while their backs were on the wall and Gigi’s covers was over their legs. What started as a conversation about art led to one thing that led to another one, and they ended up talking for hours. Gigi could barely stay awake but wanted to spend every second listening to Crystal’s high tone and her little laughter. Knowing she was handling everything well relieved Gigi.

“Gigi, you’re barely awake,” Crystal said, giggling to Gigi’s sleepy smile. Seeing her look at her in the eye under the dim light as her head rested on the wall made Crystal want to kiss her all over her sleepy face but she held back. “Let’s sleep.” She tried to take the covers off her legs to go sleep in Jackie’s bed, but Gigi didn’t let her.

“I can’t let you go after you talked about how you loved cuddling for hours now,”

Sleep deprived Gigi mixed with alcohol was brave. She laid down, pulling Crystal down with her. Crystal settled on the taller girl’s chest and could hear how her heart was beating as fast as hers.

“Gigi?” Crystal whispered and Gigi responded with a sleepy hum. “Should I feel guilty?”

“For before… or now?” she asked quietly, afraid of what the answer might be.

“Both,”

“You can’t change the past, don’t let it eat you up,”

“For now?”

“You’re not obliged to stay Crystal,” she whispered, leaning down to her curly hair.

“But I want to,” she said, cuddling more into to black haired girl’s chest.

“Then stay…” It went silent for a few minutes.

“Gigi?” Crystal asked again, and Gigi answered with the same sleepy hum. “Do you think she hates me now?”

“I don’t think so, I couldn’t hate you back then and you really annoyed me,” she lightly joked as Crystal exhaled with relief. “You talked about breakup sex, it can’t be that bad,”

“She fucked me to break up,” Crystal giggled on her chest.

“So on brand for you two,” Gigi dived her nose into the curly hair, smelling the citrus scent. “I think she understands that you can’t force emotions to people, but you can always check on her if you want. Can we sleep now?”

“Right… Night Geege,” Crystal talked, almost humming with her eyes so heavy now.

“Night Crys.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my mental health spiraling down made me write 3 chaps in 2 days...  
> i feel like i'm going fast for the first time but it's chap13, it was time for some more crygi lol  
> enjoy! leave a comment and i'll kiss you on the forehead lol


	14. fourteen

Crystal was checking her phone with furrowed eyebrows in the Monday lunch she always had with her friends when Gigi spoke to her from her right side.

“What are you doing for Halloween?” she asked, not realizing the brunette wasn’t engaged in the conversation. “Oh, sorry, is something wrong?”

“No… It’s okay, I’ll answer later.” Crystal smiled and put her phone down face down. “Dahlia and I planned a devil and an angel outfit-“

“You’re kidding!” Gigi exclaimed as Crystal giggled with confusion. “Matt and I planned the same thing! He even gave me some face paint. I don’t know why he was so excited for this year, but I already have mine ready.”

“You don’t get to leave my side if we coordinate,” Crystal joked, her mind still on her phone.

“Like you guys aren’t already attached on the hip,” Nicky joked from Crystal’s other side, earning herself an eyeroll from Gigi.

“I literally never saw you alone after you made it official with Jaida,” Crystal answered, turning her head to the side to see the blonde better as Jaida laughed across the table. She didn’t realize how the comparison implied something going on between her and Gigi, but it made Gigi’s heart skip a beat.

“I begged her to leave me alone yesterday!” Jaida exclaimed, making Nicky dramatically shocked.

“Bitch, then you called me because _you needed help with your garment_ ,” Nicky said making air quote marks. Jaida smiled and held her hand, not even bothered by Nicky’s bitchy joking self. Crystal turned back to Gigi, who was looking to the girls with big eyes again.

“Puppy eyes! Twice this week, and remember when you called me one?” Gigi turned to her confused.

“Huh?” she asked before coming to realization. “That time when you were smelling me like a creep?”

Crystal rolled her eyes, “No, that time you cuddled me, making it seem like you were doing me a favor!”

“I just love cuddling puppies! God, now you’re making me miss our family dog…” Gigi went ahead to talk about Nancy, their family dog, for several minutes and Crystal didn’t mind listening to a second of it. Seeing Gigi with glistening eyes and a big smile on her face was a good way to spend her time.

Crystal finally checked her phone again while walking back to her class alone.

**_Dahlia:_ ** _when is bri alone in the room? i need some of my stuff back_

Dahlia not even facing her broke her heart, but she couldn’t blame her for it. The breakup was still so new, and she couldn’t even imagine how Dahlia was coping.

**_Crystal M.:_ ** _i’ll be late today, you can go whenever you want_

**_Crystal M.:_ ** _are you okay? we can talk if you need or want to_

Crystal missed her. Missed the comfort she found in her arms, missed the feeling of being protected surrounded with her ice-cold energy towards other people. After all they have dated for over a month, it wasn’t like she never felt anything for Dahlia. It was the formerly blonde occupying her mind that confused her, drifted them apart.

Dahlia didn’t answer her texts. Crystal actually had nothing to do that day, was just planning to third wheel Nicky and Jaida’s honeymoon phase relationship to give Dahlia time to grab her belongings. She finished her classes and dragged herself back to her dorm, stepped in the elevator mindlessly and not looking around and pressed the button of the highest floor.

“I thought you were going to be late.” Crystal froze to the familiar voice coming from behind, her heart sinking in her chest. Her voice sounded cold and distant, like how she was towards other people.

“I’m sorry…” Crystal said, not having enough courage to face the jet-black haired girl. “I’ll just be in Nicky’s…”

“Nicky’s room isn’t on the 6th,” Dahlia replied simply.

“She’s dating Jaida now, and is always there,”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me.” Crystal felt like she needed to, she felt like she had to comfort Dahlia like when she did after her long shifts as Dahlia cried on her chest over a patient. “This is where you ended our relationship, huh?”

Crystal turned to Dahlia with shock, facing her deep brown eyes with all the courage she could gather. “You know it’s not like that.”

“I really don’t know anything about you anymore.”

The elevator stopped on Crystal’s floor and Dahlia stepped off, not saying another word. Crystal stood frozen, still looking at where Dahlia was just seconds ago before it stopped again. She got off, not knowing how she was already crying, and walked past Jaida and Jan’s room to approach Gigi’s. She knocked once only, not having enough energy, but Gigi opened it quickly with her sweatpants on.

“Oh my god, Crystal! Are you okay?” Gigi let Crystal in, embracing her in a hug quickly. Crystal let herself go and sobbed on Gigi’s chest. “It’s fine, it’s fine baby,” Gigi whispered to her curly hair as she caressed it.

“Okay, okay, I’m fine,” Crystal declared, after a while, still sniffling, as she pulled away from the hug. Gigi still held her close, cupping her face with one of her hands while the other one was down at her waist.

“What happened?” she asked, wiping away the tears with her thumb.

“I ran into Dahlia in the elevator. God, I’m such an idiot!” Crystal let Gigi guide her towards the bed, pulling from her wrist. “I told her I would be late, that’s why she was here, to grab her stuff without seeing me and then I came early like the stupid bitch I am!”

“You can’t run away from each other forever,” Gigi said while grabbing Crystal’s hand to draw circles with her thumb on it.

“All I do is hurt her more and more… She hates me, she fucking hates me and I deserve it…”

“Crystal, no,” Gigi protested with furrowed eyebrows. “No one can hate you.”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t, not even when I kissed your boyfriend on purpose,”

“I hated him, not you…” Crystal tried to hold back her questions but couldn’t.

“Why? Why were you with him when you hated him?” Gigi took a deep, trembly breath in. “Why didn’t you just talk to me?”

“I didn’t think you would like me back… You almost slept with him the first night, what would hold you two back if I was out of the picture?” Crystal looked up to see Gigi looking away from her. “That was my thought process. I know how it sounds right now but it made too much sense to me then.”

“I held on to April so much that she hated me more…” Crystal could relate, and she wished she couldn’t. She wished neither Gigi nor herself would go through this self-esteem breaking experience, but she couldn’t prevent it for neither one of them.

They sat in silence as Crystal got calmer. Their hands were still together like they needed each other’s energy as they both went over their experiences over and over in their own heads. They both wanted to talk and comfort each other but neither of them were sure they would know where to stop.

“Crys?” Gigi mumbled after some time spent as they both looked away from each other and only felt the other’s presence.

“Yeah?” Crystal turned to Gigi to meet her ice blue eyes.

“What would you do if I confessed?” For the first time in a while, Crystal didn’t hesitate.

The brunette leaned up and put her nose against the button one she adored. She looked down, not seeing how Gigi furrowed her eyebrows with the emotional pain she was feeling. “This…” she whispered against her plump lips, their lips slightly touching.

Gigi kissed her first, knowing her intention already, and didn’t stopped for a second this time. She kissed the brunette with all the lust and yearning she kept inside for months. She kissed her with the longing for her affection. Their lips moved in harmony as they finally had a proper kiss for them and them only. Their lips moved with everyone else out of the equation.

Crystal was the one to pull herself away barely, standing with their foreheads still touching, as she talked with closed eyes. “I was supposed to do that,” she smiled a little and felt Gigi’s exhale on her lips as she smiled back.

“I wish I knew how to look past the fact that you were just crying about your ex, who is probably still downstairs.”

Crystal pulled further back with confusion. She opened her eyes to examine Gigi, still staying in her place with closed eyes with her puffy, red lips. Crystal knew it was fast, but it was also too much of a wait. It was rushed but also simmered. Months of them were spent yearning for each other and now that they get to have it, there was still a something holding them back.

Something little in Gigi’s heart telling her to take it slow, telling her Crystal was just out of a relationship. A little part of her knew and felt how it was still too early for them, even after months of waiting.

“I never get to win, do I?” Crystal looked away with a little broken chuckle occupying her lips. Gigi couldn’t bring herself to open her eyes, even after Crystal’s small hand found her face to cup it. “Look at me Geege… Please, look at me.”

“I can’t,” Gigi resisted, “I can’t look you in the eye and tell you to stay away.”

“Yes, you can. Now look me in the eye,” Gigi opened her eyes slowly and carefully as Crystal watched her, holding her like a breakable object. “I understand you, I think I do,”

“Crys,”

“Shush. I think I understand you and I am willing to do anything you want me to do, okay?” Crystal watched Gigi nod slowly. She knew being away for a little longer was needed and that Gigi wasn’t fully comfortable with her. “What do you want us to be?”

“I love being your best friend. I love the drunk talking for hours… I love the way you love to share anything you scribble with me, the way you come to me when you’re in pain…” Crystal caressed Gigi’s cheek with her thumb for one last time before pulling her hand away back to her lap. “I love knowing I’m your person.”

“You’re my person, Geege,” they both smiled. “You were my person even when we didn’t talk for days. You are the little devil on the back of my head, guiding me to be better at all times.” Gigi chuckled at the thought of that, but it was true for her too.

It was a hard decision for both of them. It was hard to accept they both needed more time. Gigi knew Dahlia wasn’t fully out of the equation and wouldn’t be for a while longer. She knew Crystal needed more time for herself and knew better than to rush into things as Dahlia and Crystal did.

Gigi knew it wasn’t their time, not yet at least.

“Be my person. You need more time, I need more time. Stay as my person while we figure it all out.”

Crystal’s heart was torn into pieces trying to balance everything and everyone. The kiss, the way it made her feel almost sure of herself until she remembered running into Dahlia just moments ago and how it shattered her heart.

Crystal nodded to Gigi’s proposition and it made Gigi’s puzzled look turn into a smiling one. “I should probably go back to my room; she didn’t have much there.”

“You probably should,” Crystal got up and Gigi followed to her until they stopped in front of the door. “Tell me if you need anything, okay?”

Crystal got up on her toes and pulled Gigi in a much-needed hug. Gigi stood with shock at first, but her arms found their place on Crystal’s back easily as Crystal hugged her neck like a child holding on.

“I needed that,” Crystal said while pulling away. “Thank you Geege.”

Crystal left with that but Gigi couldn’t move for a while, still dumb founded by how a real Crystal hug felt like it could put her pieces back together. She brushed her long black hair back with one hand in frustration of not knowing what to do with herself. She felt proud of herself to be straight forward with her words this time.

Meanwhile, Crystal went back to her floor with hesitation and knocked on her own door. She was afraid to face Dahlia again, to hurt Dahlia and herself. Thankfully, Brita opened the door and revealed she was alone there.

“She just left,” Brita let her in as Crystal sighed with relief. “Were you crying?”

“I’m always crying,” Crystal answered quickly and Brita rolled her eyes. “I’ll tell you when I’m in my pajamas, okay?”

“She was too…” Brita closed the door behind Crystal as she froze to the sentence.

“Lia was crying?” The nickname slipped Crystal’s lips as her heart broke with the idea of making a strong woman like Dahlia cry. She wanted to run after her, make everything okay with her but it wasn’t fair to any of them. It was just her gut talking.

“She tried to hide it, but yeah,” Crystal approached her made bed with a single t-shirt on top of it.

“She left my favorite t-shirt of hers…” Brita snatched the t-shirt away and Crystal didn’t protest, she couldn’t bear to look at it for a second longer. “Does it have to be this hard, Bri?”

“I’m sorry baby,” Brita caressed Crystal’s shoulder before walking to her drawer to put the t-shirt away. “You were so full of emotions, negative and positive ones… It will hurt for a while.”

Crystal nodded as she took the words in. She was full of emotions, both towards Dahlia and Gigi, and she needed to sort them out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was drunk while writing half of this  
> first proper, two sided kiss! yayyyy  
> if you see anything wrong w the timeline of this story, no you didn't <3  
> leave a comment and i'll see you next time!


	15. fifteen

Crystal was glad to be a fine arts student in that particular night more than ever. Her Halloween choice, a fashionable devil with gold horns, was not even the most exaggerated in the room where she first went to and she was happy to see all the original creations there.

She walked holding her self-crafted, glittery tail to find something to drink. She walked past a group of girls dressed as the Powerpuff Girls, a girl with a Beetlejuice inspired suit and green makeup, and finally Jan dressed as an Ariana Grande runway.

“Jan! Hi!” Crystal held Jan’s arm to greet her and made Jan turn around.

“Crys! You look… so you!” Crystal laughed at that as Jan examined farther with furrowed eyes. “You’re going to love Gigi’s look!”

Crystal giggled, thinking Gigi was supposed to look like an angel then. “Yeah, accidental coordination. I know.”

“Coordination? Sure!” Jan answered with a big smile, leaving Crystal puzzled.

“Anyways! Ariana Grande? Why?” Crystal asked, fascinated to hear what Jan’s creative mind was up to this time.

“I just really wanted to make this dress,” Jan turned around, pushing a few people away with her puffy, tulle dress.

“It looks amazing!” Jan smiled back to Crystal as a prideful look took over her eyes.

Jan shook herself off to go back to her mission. “I have my eye on this cute girl but if you want to say hi, the girls are back there,” she gestured towards a big door. Crystal got her cue, knowing Jan didn’t have Nicky like she used to now.

Crystal smiled before leaving Jan there and entered the other lounge area as she apologized to make her way. A tall girl’s red hair and patent, shiny leather jacket caught her eye from across the room as she stood in the doorway to locate her friends.

Gigi turned towards Crystal, feeling the eyes on her and laughed at what she saw. They were both the devil, despite thinking the other would be the angel. Gigi took her pointer fingers to her forehead, mirroring Crystal’s gold horns, and licked her top teeth as she danced to Heaven Is a Place on Earth.

Crystal felt the butterflies in her stomach go wild with lust mixed with how breathtaking Gigi looked. She was as charming as the devil herself and she knew it, everyone dancing around her knew it, and Crystal knew it. She smiled big as a response, trying to hold herself back, and approached Jackie she saw stand in a corner by herself and on her phone.

“Hey, auntie!” Crystal greeted and Jackie smiled big, turning to Crystal after putting her phone away.

“Hey, Cryssie,” the nickname made Crystal nervous for a second but she didn’t let Jackie see it. “Love your look but I think I saw someone else do the devil too.

Crystal rolled her eyes playfully, “So funny! I thought she was supposed to be the angel. That’s what coordinating means to me, not doing the same thing!”

“She thought you were the angel!” Jackie then leaned in like it wasn’t loud enough to keep people from hearing them. “She also talked about how cute of an angel you would be for hours.”

A warm smile took over Crystal’s face with the thought of Gigi talking about her, “I’m also a cute devil! And what are you supposed to be?” She examined the girl’s white fur top with a simple white skirt and the whiskers glued to her face, probably by Gigi.

“A Persian cat!” Crystal was expecting a simple cat as the answer. She laughed hard as Jackie shrugged, making a _‘duh’_ gesture. Crystal felt a hand on her arm from her back while still giggling, then Gigi replaced Jackie, giving Crystal a red solo cup in the process.

“I thought you were the angel!” Gigi said before hugging her to greet, she gladly accepted the little hug.

“I thought _you_ were the angel!” Crystal answered, pulling away from the hug. They both laughed a little to how absurd the situation was. They were not only both the devil, they were also the most glam devils in their own ways. Both of them being painted red was the _cherry_ on top.

“You don’t have devil energy, Crys! You have glitter all over you!” Gigi leaned into the wall at the corner, holding Crystal close to make sure she could be heard, and kind of wanting Crystal close for no special reason.

“Like _you,_ formerly blonde good girl Genevieve Goode, have devil energy!” Crystal protested back, leaning to the wall like Gigi.

“Matt wanted me as the devil for a reason,” Gigi did her top teeth licking again and the brunette in front of her possessed all her energy to react with a laugh to the dirty joke and not to pin the now red haired girl to the wall behind her.

Crystal felt like she could spend the whole night there just chatting with the beautiful girl in front of her, dismissing every person around them. In fact, they did exactly that for a while, right before Crystal saw Lauren and April enter the lounge area hand in hand, dressed as the couple from the American Gothic.

“My ex and her girlfriend just walked in, dressed as what we dressed as when we were together,” Gigi curiously looked over Crystal’s shoulder to see the couple.

“American Gothic ones, right?” Gigi pulled Crystal closer by her waist. Crystal could feel her heart rate go up as she could feel Gigi’s body heat on her.

“What are you doing?” she asked nervously, afraid of not being able to hold herself back.

“The girlfriend thinks we were a thing, remember?” Gigi said, smiling to not break the role of the girlfriend.

“Oh, yeah… That…” Crystal mumbled, forcing a smile on her face. Gigi looked up again and her eyes caught April’s ones, looking curiously towards them. She smiled quickly, making Crystal panic even though she couldn’t see.

“Look over them, but put on a smile,” Gigi ordered. Crystal looked up to her with furrowed eyebrows, ready to protest but Gigi’s firm looks shut her down immediately. She obeyed and turned her head to see her ex-girlfriend. April raised a glass towards them to greet, Crystal replied with the same gesture before turning back to Gigi.

“That’s my suit!” she whined about her ex’s current choice of clothing and the vibrant red-haired girl giggled. Gigi leaned in more and pinned Crystal to the wall, covering them up with her long hair as Crystal forgot how to breath.

“Tilt your head like I’m kissing you right now,” Crystal obeyed once again. Gigi reached up to cup her cheek as Crystal raised her free hand to hold her neck as she would usually do to deepen the kiss.

“Kissing me would be easier,” Crystal smiled to Gigi before she pulled a little away, still holding her close by her waist. So close that Crystal had to look up to see her properly.

“Slow and steady, Crys,” she replied.

“Yeah, you’re right…” Gigi giggled before taking Crystal’s cup away to put it down on the floor next to her empty one. Then she went back to her position, close to Crystal’s little body again. This time Crystal put her hand on the taller girl’s neck, playing with the little hairs there. “Do the tongue thing again.”

“This?” Gigi did it again and then giggled while Crystal looked fascinated by it. She raised her head more and leaned her nose on Gigi’s sharp jawline before mumbling against her skin.

“And you’re expecting me to not kiss you right now,” Gigi shivered with Crystal’s hot breath against her neck. Crystal pulled away quickly, leaving Gigi with a cold feeling over her chest. “Is it funny now you tease?!”

Gigi rolled her eyes playfully, “Slow and steady, you bitch,”

Crystal held her hand to her chest to act exaggeratedly offended, “Baby, I’m a turtle already!” Gigi’s eyes weren’t on the brunette so she dropped the act. Her eyes were furrowed, looking behind Crystal again.

“She is literally watching us,” Gigi didn’t peel her eyes away to insert her dominance over April. “Ugh, I hate cheaters.”

Crystal suddenly felt sick to her stomach. She was still trying to come to terms with how her relationship ended with Dahlia. How she hurt her, how she was one of the cheaters she hated with her whole heart now. She was still so mad at herself that hearing that from Gigi hurt.

Gigi saw Crystal get taken back and realized her mistake, “Crys, it’s not the same thing,” she tried to reassure but Crystal was too much in her head to get affected by it.

“How isn’t it?” Crystal hated how she was having a fun time with the girl she ended her relationship over while Dahlia was the one left heartbroken.

“You didn’t even kiss me!” she chuckled mockingly to the protesting words of the taller girl.

“But I would’ve,” Crystal answered, leaving Gigi even more frustrated. “I should go… go get some air.”

She grabbed her glittery tail and left Gigi there, standing alone. The unfairness of everything towards all three of them left her mad, not even knowing towards why. She stopped to down a few shots at once on her way out and found the back porch easily.

She didn’t even have a cigarette. She just sat out there in the cold, palm pressed to her eyes as the self-hatred riddled her. She sat alone for a few minutes before someone sat next to her. Crystal looked up to see April, sitting next to her and holding a cigarette out for her. She accepted it and let April light it.

“Is something wrong with you guys? Your relationship?” Crystal chuckled to how fast forward the question was. This was the first time they spoke after longer than a year and April’s manipulative persona was already asking relationship questions.

“Yours can’t be too good either, you’re here with me,” she inhaled long and let the smoke cloud out slowly.

“Just wanted to check on you, Cryssie, I still care about you.” Crystal chuckled again.

“Why did you cheat on me if you care so much about me?” She asked, just as bold as her shameless ex. “No, really! Why the fuck did you cheat on me? Why didn’t you just dump me?” She was practically yelling at that point but the questions were targeted to herself. Why didn’t I do these, was the original question.

“Cryssie…”

“Do not call me that!” she got up, still yelling as a few people around them watched with curious looks. Still, her mind was on “ _Lia”._

A hand grabbed Crystal’s arm as she walked back, not looking where she was going. “Crystal, stop,”

“Gigi, let me go,” she said, not turning around to face her. Gigi held her wrist and started dragging her away from the area. “Geege! Let me go!” Crystal repeated. Gigi stopped finally, not because of Crystal whining but because of them reaching somewhere discreet.

“You can’t do this! You can’t make everything about you like this, torture yourself with your little mind running at full speed,” she let Crystal’s wrist go. “This is the night where we accidentally wore the same thing, and we’ll remember it like that.”

“Gee…”

“Shut up, you little devil! You’re so fucking annoying sometimes!” Crystal laughed, not even expecting it herself. “We will go back in, dance our minds off, have tension filled moments together and get drunk. Okay?”

Crystal smiled to Gigi knowing her better than she could ever imagine. Anyone who knew her would offer Crystal a distraction, just like Gigi did there. “Okay.” Crystal mumbled under her breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chap, sorry. i'm just too much in my head with every single word i write lol


	16. sixteen

Love isn’t always in the most straightforward way in real life. You often don’t have a realization moment portrayed exaggeratedly in the movies. Time doesn’t stop when a pretty girl walks in the room, the weather doesn’t always work in your favor for the revealing first kiss or the love isn’t always requited.

Instead, you have small things to know. The way your butterflies get in action when they smile to you across the room, the longing cold left on your chest when they pull away from a hug… In Gigi’s position, for example, the way her skin felt like bursting when she saw the brunette walk in the room, looking around mindlessly, and wearing the same costume as hers.

You don’t always know you are in love, but in that moment, Gigi Goode knew she was crazy for the brunette. She wanted to run to her like a child, she wanted to kiss her so tender that every third person would be out of the picture at the end of it. She wanted to be with her, but all she could do in that point of their lives was a little tease across the room, holding herself back once again.

The way Crystal exclaimed “I thought you were the devil!” was something Gigi would forever hold close to her heart. The way she leaned to the wall, mirroring herself, and talked with her little smile never leaving her face was the reason she couldn’t get rid of her feelings towards Crystal. Even back when she still dated Matt, Crystal was always so charming to her, pulling Gigi in with her positive energy as if it was gravity more and more every day.

Last thing Gigi could remember from the night was how Crystal danced as if there was no tomorrow when she woke up to her phone ringing in the morning. She picked it up, not looking at the caller ID, and almost groaned as an answer since it was still too early.

“Genevieve Goode, are you sleeping at this hour of the day?” her mother greeted with her loud, cheerful voice.

“Hey mom,” Gigi said getting up and rubbing an eye with her free hand. “How are you?”

“You know you shouldn’t wake up too late in the weekends,” her mother ignored the question completely to go in for another lecture. “Early day walks are always good for you and your figure.”

“I know, mom,” she squirmed before coming up with a lie. “I was just up sewing late.”

Her mother didn’t answer for a second, giving Gigi a moment to realize the mistake of glorifying her major. Gigi’s mother, like anyone else in her family, thought pursuing a career in the fashion industry was a waste of time. They thought she should’ve go for something useful for their company since she was always smart academically.

“I was just talking to Mrs. Faze…” Gigi took the phone away from her mouth to groan without her mother hearing it. _Here comes the parade,_ she thought, “I didn’t know you guys broke up.”

“Yeah, uhm, he-“

“Don’t mumble on the phone, Vieve. It’s rude.” She cut off immediately, “Apparently, you were the one to call it off?”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Gigi left her bed, already wide awake with a headache, “He was cheating on me, with multiple girls actually.”

“Well, darling, maybe you haven’t given him enough affection lately. Have you ever thought about that?” Gigi felt herself get red out of anger and bit her bottom lip to not spit her words towards her mom.

“Maybe he was just greedy mom.” She cursed herself as her mother took a moment to take her words in. Soon enough, it was another minutes long fight over the phone about Gigi’s career choice, how her new hair wasn’t nice on her, how she needed to keep Matt. She wanted it to keep the promo relationship between the companies, acted like it was the best for Gigi.

When she finally hung up, emotionally drained already, she turned around to see Jackie sitting on her bed.

“Your mom?” she asked, knowing how they never got along and fought at least once a week on the phone.

“Yeah, as always…” Gigi put her phone down before plopping on her bed dramatically. “Sorry I woke you up.”

“It’s okay Gee,” Jackie said sleepily before checking her phone for the time. “What’s wrong this time?”

“She knows I broke up with Matt,” she run her slender finger through her hair with frustration. “I’m so not ready for this to turn into a shit show.”

“Vieve, darling, you know that is not how a woman should talk!” Jackie said, mocking Gigi’s mother’s happy but stingy voice.

“Call me Vieve again and I’ll kick your little Persian ass.” Jackie laughed before getting up.

“That’s racist!” she said, walking into the bathroom and leaving Gigi alone in the room.

Gigi tried to sleep again but her mind was too occupied to shut off. She turned to both sides, none of the positions felt comfortable. She finally snatched the covers off her body to try and sketch, but none of the drawings seemed right.

Jackie got ready and left for the library to tackle that one lesson she couldn’t comprehend. She kissed the girl mindlessly scribbling on her hair to say goodbye and couldn’t keep herself from taking one last look on the door to see how uncomfortable Gigi looked.

It was hours after Gigi woke up when her phone lighted with another notification. She was afraid to pick it up but seeing Crystal’s name relieved her.

**_Crys:_ ** _how is your head?_

**_Crys:_ ** _i have coffee and ibuprofen, which one do you want?_

Gigi smirked to herself before writing back.

**_Gigi:_ ** _no complaints so far_

**_Gigi_ ** _: i’ll take the coffee. Jackie’s not here, come company me while i try to work_

Gigi put her phone down, finally feeling a little comfort since she woke up. Crystal was there soon, kicking the door since her hands were occupied.

“Crystal I actually need that door!” Gigi said, letting her in. Crystal set the cups and the book under her arm down before settling on Gigi’s bed. Gigi sat on the big ottoman, her legs crossed, and cupped the mug with both her hands. “Won’t you drink?” she asked as Crystal didn’t touch the mug.

“I don’t like it hot,” Crystal admitted sheepishly. Gigi smiled to that and took a sip of her own coffee.

“Okay, you big baby!” she teased the curly girl. She couldn’t look past the fact how good Crystal looked in her loungewear. Her hair was damp, falling over her shoulders as beautiful curls as it slightly damped her top.

“Why are you talking about your _‘head’_ with babies?” Crystal teased back and Gigi laughed.

“It’s called a fact, honey,” she said dramatically to joke.

“I’ll be the judge of that!” Gigi was left speechless to the implication but Crystal continued carelessly. “A little bird told me…”

“Jan, the bird is probably called Jan,” Gigi stated.

“Shut up! Of course not!” Crystal’s tone rose higher trying to cover for Jan. “Anyways, apparently, you’ve only slept with one person your whole life,”

“We’ve had threesomes!” Crystal giggled to Gigi’s protests. “You act all almighty about sex but I can read you right through.” Gigi put her mug down and turned to Crystal with a smug look on her face. Crystal raised one of her eyebrows.

“Oh, yeah?” she asked, not changing her neutral face to hide her excitement of the topic.

“Oh, yeah, for sure.” Gigi got up and sat down next to Crystal on the bed. “You’re a tease,”

“So are you,” Crystal said, pulling a little back.

“You like doing this thing, a little too much actually,” Gigi got closer to her, resting her forehead on the brunette’s. Crystal giggled.

“Makes me feel heard,” Crystal joked with a smirk. Gigi pulled back this time, disappointing Crystal. “I like the tongue thing you do, if we are stating facts.”

“This?” Gigi did her thing through a smile while Crystal looked fascinated.

“Hot,” she whispered as Gigi laughed.

“You’re such a bottom!” the black-haired girl peeled herself away to sit on the other edge of the bed. Crystal wanted to protest, keep her close but kept her cool.

“A bratty one, for sure,” Crystal said as Gigi settled in her place. “You’re a bossy top who likes to ask _‘Are you going to fuck Miss Mixed Feelings?_ ’ just to tease me, correct?”

“Absolutely correct!” Gigi turned around to take the mug in her hands as Crystal sat tense. “Relax, I’m just messing around.”

“I am relaxed!” Her high tone wasn’t telling the same thing. She grabbed her mug too and drank as the subject changed. They talked over coffee until Crystal broke it to smoke, taking Gigi’s designated-balcony-cardigan with her. Gigi was back in her desk and trying to work when she stepped back in. She settled in the bed, laying face down with her elbows on the bed and her hands on her face, and started reading her book.

Crystal was smiling to the book when Gigi called her back in the real world, “Read for me. I wonder what is making you smile like that.”

 _“I’ve learned that waiting is the most difficult bit, and I want to get used to feeling, knowing that you’re with me, even when you’re not by my side,”_ she read out loud, reciting Coelho’s words. “It reminded me of you.”

Gigi smiled to Crystal as her phone lighted with a notification. She checked it straight away and furrowed her eyebrows as Crystal watched her.

**_Mom:_ ** _I got you a hair appointment for tomorrow, I want you to go something closer to your natural hair._

**_Mom:_ ** _Don’t think the Matt conversation is over, Vieve. We’ll discuss it further._

She was so mad so quick with the way her own mother talked so formal to her. She had a sweet way of being rude and Gigi was glad she was nothing like her. Gigi knew there was no way of her making her mother listen when her mind was made, so she answered with a simple, cold line.

**_Genevieve:_ ** _Send me the details and I’ll be there._

“Is something wrong?” Crystal asked as Gigi put her phone down, her face still not relaxed.

Gigi sighed before talking, “Valeria Goode is wrong, in so many ways.” Crystal still looked confused so she explained further. “My mother. She just learned I broke up with Matt and probably won’t let it go for weeks.”

“How does it affect her?” Crystal asked with a worried tone now.

“Matt’s father and mine are in the same industry, which I have no idea what is and I’m sure he doesn’t either.” She glanced away with a little sad smile, remembering her happy days with her previous boyfriend. “That’s how we met. We were just two kids who adored art and were despised by their families. Maybe that’s why it was hard for me to let him go in a way, and also I was afraid a certain brunette would love him the way I used to but that’s another story.”

Crystal chuckled, “He was your escape, I get that, but I still do not understand how this affects your mother.”

“Matt was a guarantee I wasn’t going after someone _below me._ He convinced my mom to attend here together, also our relationship was good promo.”

“That’s an awful reason to be in a relationship. I’m sorry Geege,” Gigi smiled to say ‘ _it’s okay’_ and Crystal smiled back.

“Anyways, enough about my mom. What is yours like?” Gigi created the distraction she needed herself and was happy she asked with the smile that got over Crystal’s face.

“Single mother. Worked hard but loved me harder. I really owe a lot to her, but she says I’m already paying with my love,”

“Single child?” Crystal smiled confused.

“How did you know?”

“Bratty bottom,” Gigi said, making Crystal laugh. “Guess me!”

“Hmm, a bossy top, so,” Crystal fake thought, dragging her _‘o’,_ “I assume a younger brother?”

“So on point!” Gigi said laughing. “His name is Oliver and he is the devil walking the earth. Smart as hell, always has a new and creative way to annoy me.”

Sitting on Gigi’s bed and doing their own things, reading to her and listening to her family problems felt natural to Crystal. She was more relaxed as they talked more, she failed to realize how Gigi was still so tense.

Gigi knew her mother, and she knew there was no point running when she had an idea in mind. She wanted Matt and Gigi together, she would do anything to get it. It worried Gigi a lot, the last thing she wanted was to ruin the sweet little flirting period she had with Crystal until they were both ready to try for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hinting arson? i think so!  
> follow me at twitter, @yekaterinasbby, not that i am sharing anything about this but i'm nice???   
> see you next time! leave a comment if you like this thingy my mind creates, totally detached from me lol


	17. seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is called idek what i'm doing anymore

“You look good Cryssie.” April exclaimed as she sat across the table and Crystal was never more irritated by a compliment before.

“April, you have been begging me to talk. Make it quick,” she answered while lighting her cigarette. April had one of her perfectly shaped black eyebrows raised, not expecting such a personality change in Crystal.

“I missed you.” Crystal laughed. She laughed so hard that every table around them felt obliged to give them nasty looks.

“Is this your personality now? Cheating?” She leaned in, a big grin still on her face, “Does your perfect little girlfriend knows you’re here? Oh, sorry, I forgot that my existence never bothered her.”

Crystal was bothered to be involved in another relationship drama. The more she tried to avoid them, the more they haunted her. All she wanted to do was work on herself and try to build a relationship with Gigi.

“Crys, I’m sorry,” April leaned in like her, trying to play on Crystal’s weakness towards her but not knowing how it didn’t exist anymore. “Leaving you was a mistake… I loved you.”

“Brave words! Did you tell all of this to Lauren when you were going back and forth with me?” Crystal leaned back again and inhaled on her cigarette. Her eyes met with Gigi then, with her new ginger hair. She forgot everything surrounding her and smiled to the beautiful girl as she approached their friends sitting at a close by table to keep an eye on Crystal.

Gigi knew Crystal agreed to talking to April after months of her begging that day, but she didn’t know how much it would hurt her. She knew Crystal didn’t owe her commitment, and neither did she, but seeing her talking so close to her ex was disturbing.

“Can I sit with you guys?” She asked, approaching Nicky, Jan, and Jaida.

“No,” Jaida said, pulling Nicky closer while smiling. Gigi replied with an eyeroll.

“This is the weirdest pairing of three in our group,” she said while settling next to Jan.

“Remember when you would sit with Dahlia and Crystal?” Jan answered with a big grin on her face, knowing how much it would annoy her.

“Don’t listen to these idiots, Gee,” Nicky told her to reassure.

“I’m your girlfriend, you dumbass!” Jaida protested. Nicky turned to look at her for a second before turning back to Gigi.

“Sorry, I meant, don’t listen to the idiot and my idiot,” Nicky said, making all of them laugh.

“Sounds better, thank you,” Jaida giggled to Nicky’s shoulder before kissing her. They were so cute that Gigi wanted to pull her eyes out, not that she wanted the same thing, it was just them.

“Okay, real talk, I love how good you guys are handling all of this,” Gigi said, meaning the previous relationship Nicky and Jan had.

“Worst case scenario we have a threesome!” Jan exclaimed making them laugh.

“Is someone a little jealous?” Nicky asked in a sing-song voice. “Is someone in the shoes of Crystal now?”

“No! It’s not like that at all!” Gigi protested with a high-pitched and cracking voice. “She told me she finally accepted to talk with her, and it’s not like we have an official thing. I don’t get to be jealous, and I don’t need to be jealous, right?”

“Jealousy is not a right Gee,” Jaida told her, with a little smile. Gigi exhaled with frustration, “And I don’t think you need to be jealous.”

“Yeah, right. It’s okay, we’re okay,” she said mostly to herself as Jan rolled her eyes. “What, Jan?”

“I worked so hard to bring these two together, I’m not doing the same for you!” Jan told her, gesturing to Nicky and Jaida.

“You stopped having sex with one of them, how is that hard work?” Gigi joked but she knew how Jan figured Jaida was uncomfortable with them having sex, and stopped it immediately to figure out Jaida’s real problem with them and how she tried countless ways to bring them together. “And I don’t need you to. I’m handling it well myself,”

“Sure you are!” Jaida teased Gigi.

“Just bang her,” Nicky said with a serious tone. Anyone that didn’t know her wouldn’t know it was a joke, not that people who knew her were certain.

“Bang who?” Gigi heard Crystal’s voice from their back and she sat straight up quickly, not even realizing doing it halfway through. “Oh my god, Nicky! We told you a relationship meant commitment!”

Nicky stuck her tongue out to Crystal while she pulled a chair to the table. “How did it go?” she asked when Crystal was settled in.

“I made it very clear, I think,” she said with her usual unsure voice. “I don’t think she will bother me anymore, so yay!”

Gigi smiled to her, “Yay! I wish Matt would stop bothering me,”

“Girl, just talk to him,” Jaida said.

“You know the worst-case scenario,” Jan said. Everyone but Crystal laughed. “You know, threesome?”

“With whom?” Crystal asked with furrowed eyebrows before realizing it was her. “Nope! Count me out, I already got broken up over sex.”

“Why does everyone offer a threesome for every little conflict in this group?” Nicky asked like she haven’t done that before. “Do we have some issues? Should we have an orgy to figure it out?”

“We’ll have an issue if we don’t make it to class in time,” Jaida said, looking at her watch. “We’ll discuss the orgy later.”

“We should stop discussing and start doing,” Jan said, getting up with Nicky and Jaida. “Make sure your tension doesn’t pollute the air, okay, bye!” she said before walking with fast steps to reach the others. Crystal rolled her eyes to them before speaking.

“You’re not going with them?” Crystal asked while putting her chunky boot on the seat to rest her chin on her knee.

“I’m the only one who isn’t retaking it, the professor is a bitch,” Gigi said proudly while smiling to Crystal as she smiled back.

“I love your new hair!” Crystal said, leaning in and grabbing a ginger lock to swirl it around her finger. Gigi’s black dye was taken off her hair after many hours to replace it with a light ginger color with two blonde stripes on the front.

“Thank you! Mom wanted me to go back to blonde but I convinced her on a midpoint,” Gigi said with rosy cheeks. “How are you, really?”

“Oh I’m fine, don’t worry,” Crystal said, releasing the lock and leaning back on her seat. She looked thoughtful, but Gigi knew the thoughts weren’t about April. “Should I talk to Dahlia?” She exclaimed out of nowhere then.

Gigi wanted to selfishly say no, wanted to keep Crystal for herself. “About what?”

“I don’t know. It feels selfish to want that, just to relieve myself.” Crystal said, playing with one of her locks this time.

Gigi didn’t answer because she didn’t know how to. It broke her heart to see Crystal still thinking about Dahlia, but she knew how she couldn’t force her to feel the same way so quickly. She was determined to not relive her mistakes, determined to give it time.

Gigi’s phone buzzed in her pocket, taking her back to reality.

**_Mom:_ ** _I can get used to this hair, I guess._

**_Mom:_ ** _Have you talked to Matthew yet?_

“Mom thinks she can get used to my hair,” she said in a sarcastic tone before answering.

**_Genevieve:_ ** _Thanks mom, I think I like it too._

“Mine would love it but suggest you to get a mullet!” Crystal exclaimed, knowing her mother’s obsession with trying to get everyone to cut a mullet, even Crystal too. Gigi peeled her eyes away from her phone with a grin on her face.

“Hot!” she said making Crystal smile.

“I know! I can’t handle you getting even hotter.” They both froze, Gigi with a smile and Crystal with a neutral face, none of them expecting the compliment. Gigi leaned in, determined to tease Crystal as she got flushed with embarrassment.

“What would happen if I got hotter? Not that it’s possible,” she teased with a grin while putting her elbow on the arm of the seat, to place her chin on her hand.

Crystal mumbled for a second, making high-pitched sounds, “Shut up! Slow and steady!”

“I can make other things slow and steady,”

“What does that even mean?!” Crystal exclaimed.

“I don’t know, it sounded hot,” Gigi laughed while Crystal slapped her arm lightly. “Ouch! What was that for?”

“No teasing! Teasing should be off limits of our…” Crystal stopped to think for a second, what even were they?

“Our what?” the ginger asked, eager to hear Crystal’s side of the things.

“Friends with sexual tension situation!” Crystal said like it was a big revelation.

“Then what puts the tension in it?” she asked, pushing Crystal more.

Crystal thought for another second, “You being you is more than enough.”

Gigi laughed again, happy with her answer but wanting more. Then her eyes locked on a brunette boy from the back, knowing it was him without even having to see his face, talking with a girl she never saw before. “Crys, should I get our third wheel out?”

Crystal furrowed her eyebrows, turning back to see where Gigi was looking. “Maybe you should. Just get it over with, come on,”

Gigi turned back to Crystal, “Mom will never let it go, but I can try.” Then Crystal leaned down to Gigi, taking her knee out of her way, to leave a peck on her cheek, way too close to her lips. “What was that for?” Gigi asked.

“Encouragement, and confrontation powers,” Crystal smiled sheepishly.

“You’re just hot for me,” Gigi joked, getting up while grabbing her bag. “See you around?”

“Yeah, keep me posted,” Crystal said, getting up with her. Then they walked to opposite sides as Gigi snuggled in her jacket more. It was a day of getting rid of their chains, and even though Crystal only talked to April to get rid of her, Gigi needed some answers.

She tapped the boy’s shoulder once, making him turn around with puzzled eyes. “Hi, Matt. Can we talk?”

A smile went on Matt’s face that she wanted to punch out of as the girl across him looked annoyed. “Of course, V! Would you like to do it here, or…?”

“Here is fine,” Gigi said, getting across the table and gesturing the girl to leave. She looked at Matt for a second, who shrugged. She grabbed her bag with anger and left before Gigi settled in her place. It felt good to know she still had that power over him.

“Vieve, I really wanted to talk to you, both of you,” Matt started as Gigi kept her eyes on the table. Approaching him was the easy part, the talking was the one to tear her heart.

“Why do you even want to talk with Crys? She is not interested in you,” she answered and looked up to his familiar, warm eyes that felt cold this time around.

“Oh, I know that. She wasn’t interested in me the second she saw you,” Matt answered and Gigi raised an eyebrow. “All she wanted to do with me was getting back at you. I know that, Vieve.”

“How…? Why…?” she mumbled.

“You kissed her, didn’t you? I saw you guys getting in the bathroom together, and then you probably kissed her in an inappropriate time because you really can’t talk when you like someone so much.”

“How do you even know all of that? And why did you agree to keep going with me if you did?”

“V, first and foremost, you were my best friend,” he reached to grab her hands, which Gigi pulled away quickly. “Sorry, force of habit. You can’t really think I cheated on you because I was… I don’t know, wanting more?”

“What am I supposed to think after catching you with a different girl anytime I look back for a second?” Gigi frowned before the realization hit her. “You fucking bitch! You made me break up with you!”

Matt laughed to that, getting on Gigi’s nerves even more. “You weren’t happy, but you weren’t leaving either. It took me a lot of time to decide to let you go, for your good.”

“You were my safe space…”

“The safe space you didn’t love like you used to. You wanted me because it was easy with us, because our relationship was convenient for us and our parents.” Gigi thought back to looking at Matt a year ago and seeing nothing but a friend. A friend she could pretend she loved, for the sake of everyone else. “I had nothing to do with the little brunette, though. That’s on you.”

“What is exactly on me?” Gigi asked, even angrier than before.

“You liked her, and I could tell you liked her because even though I supposedly cheated on you with her, you were talking about her to me with stars in your eyes.” Gigi looked away. She remembered adoring the curly-haired girl, her fiery eyes, and her personality even when she was _‘the other girl’_.

“Matt, what did you get from this?” she exhaled frustrated, “What is the point of this stupid game that I’ve been suffering from for months now? What was the point of hurting me?”

“You weren’t the only one that wasn’t feeling like they used to,” he ran his hand through the brunette hair. “I had no other choice to convince you. We weren’t in love anymore,”

“Bullshit!” Gigi said, spitting the word. “You just wanted to be the bigger person, the person who got broken up with to gain the empathy of your parents. You can never face them with a girl like the one that was sitting here minutes ago, you coward!”

She got up, ready to leave with nothing but more anger than before. “You could never face your mom with a girl like Crystal.” He said, making her stop on her tracks.

“Oh, you know I can,” Gigi looked at him one last time. “And, in fact, I will. I will hold her hand and face my mom. Matt, I fell in love with you because you were different than them, than everyone back home. Now… Now, you are just the same.”

She walked past him with sure steps as Matt called out, “You will realize how you are the same as us, Miss Almighty.”

Gigi’s phone starting ringing while she made her way back to her dorm. She pulled it out, saw her mother calling and internally cursed.

“Vieve, you sounded so pointed over the message you have sent.” She started, not even saying a simple hello.

“Of course not, mom,” she tried to keep it cool, to avoid another fight in the same day. “I was just walking to the dorm building so I’ve tried to keep it short.”

Her mother hummed, showing how she half believed. “You know you can move out anytime. Just ask for it.”

“I know mom, but I actually like it here,” Gigi answered with patience even though they’ve had the exact same conversation before.

“You can join a sorority, like I did back…”

“Mom, I really do like it here. I get to be close to my friends…” Gigi stopped with a devilish grin on her face, knowing exactly how to get back on her mother’s nerves. “And my girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?!” Her mother asked in shock. “Vieve, don’t you think it was so quick darling? You might still have a chance with Matt.”

Her mother still wanting them together made Gigi sure of her decision about the fake girlfriend storyline that worked before. “No, mom, I don’t think it’s quick. You’ll love her!” She wouldn’t love her, but it was her problem and not Crystal’s. Getting rid of Matt related questions was the goal after all, not making her mother love Crystal, the girlfriend that didn’t even know she was the girlfriend then.

“I’m buying you tickets for the weekend then,” her mother played back unexpectedly as Gigi stopped in the middle of the path she was passing. “Is Friday night okay? Would you prefer Saturday morning?”

“Friday night is perfect mom.” Gigi didn’t want to back step, her mother was too smart to realize it.

 _Shit, Gigi,_ she cursed internally _, think before you speak!_

Gigi now had to go tell Crystal the game she decided to play last second, try not to die out of embarrassment, and prepare her for the monster called Valeria Goode. Her plan of getting rid of questions did not involve a whole weekend of pretending to be something she actually wanted to be, but she could live with it, as long as the brunette agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not to be insecure but i hate thishsdfhjgfajhfha


	18. eighteen

Crystal was barely settled in on her room when she heard a knock on the door. She wasn’t expecting Brita soon, and Jaida and Nicky made it clear to her that they wanted to be left alone so she opened it with puzzled looks.

“Crystal!” An overly enthusiastic Gigi walked in the room without Crystal inviting her in. “Hi!”

“Hey,” Crystal answered confused while closing the door behind Gigi, who was standing in the middle of the room awkwardly. “What did Matt told you that made you this happy?”

“Who? Oh, Matt, yeah…” she mumbled, turning around. “Why don’t you sit down?” she gestured towards Crystal’s bed.

Crystal sat down on her bed awkwardly as Gigi kept standing, “G, you’re scaring me.”

“It went awful with Matt!” she exclaimed all of a sudden.

“Oh, I’m sorry,”

“Don’t be!” Gigi said, running her hand through her hair. She left her jacket that was hanging over her arm on the chair alongside her bag, trying to figure out how to tell what she told her mother to Crystal. “You know how my mom is a control freak who wants me and Matt together. So, I might’ve told her I had a girlfriend,”

“Oh,” Crystal said, taken back. The point the conversation was going scared her.

“Yeah, and she wants to meet my imaginary girlfriend this weekend,” Gigi said, finally sitting down on Brita’s bed. Crystal examined her tense body for a second and thought about how uncharacteristic it was for her.

“Take Jan!” Crystal said after biting on her lip for a moment, trying to come up with an idea.

“Yeah, I would do that but she already knows all of my friends, she _approves_ them actually,” Crystal frowned. “I actually kind of had a brunette in mind; a cute little brunette with small hands, a pretty one that I adore?”

“Geege, no!” Gigi frowned this time to her sweet talking not working. “That’s… That sounds complicated, for us,”

“Yeah, oh god, you’re right,” Gigi looked away, “What was I thinking?”

“No, it’s okay,” Crystal wanted to help her, but was afraid of how it would affect them. It was one thing flirting while having time for themselves but being fake girlfriends sounded like a cliché movie that wouldn’t end up good. “What did Matt say?”

“That he cheated on me to make me breakup with him,” Crystal made a puking gesture. “Yeah, I know. Apparently, he wasn’t in love with me either and didn’t have the balls to breakup with me. Cheating is the better option in his head, who cares about Vieve’s well-being?”

“Vieve?” Crystal asked. “And I care,”

“Yeah?” Gigi asked with furrowed eyebrows. “Oh, you mean the nickname! That’s what my family calls me,”

“Cute! Sounds bitchy,” Crystal joked and finally saw Gigi relaxing a little bit.

“Yeah, Vieve would’ve made you suffer in high school,” she said while untying her boots to settle on the bed more. Her phone she put on the bed lighted up and she grabbed it to see her mother sending her flight details. “She already has tickets! How?”

“Without confirming with your _girlfriend_ first?” Crystal asked making air quotes.

“Mom gets her way, always, she never confirms,” the ginger girl said while looking at her phone, trying to come up with a reply.

“Was this you coming out to your mother?” Crystal asked sheepishly, trying to not cross her boundaries.

Gigi looked up from her phone with a grin, “Oh, she knew. As soon as I figured I was bisexual, I told her, just to annoy her,”

“Vieve really is that bitch,” Crystal answered laughing. “High school Crystal would fall in love with that kind of a person, for sure,”

Gigi’s heart rate went up with the idea of Crystal being in love with her, “What do I tell her? That my girlfriend is busy?” she went back to her phone, trying to keep her mind on the issue she had to deal with.

“No she isn’t,” Crystal answered with a smile. Gigi looked up again with a big smile, “Okay, I’ll do it! But you have to tell me I’m pretty like five more times,”

The taller girl laughed with relief, “Crystal thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She messaged her mother immediately. “I owe you one! Thank you!”

Following days went with the rest of the group teasing Crystal and Gigi while Crystal tried to pack her best clothes, trying to look presentable to Gigi’s mother. She was nervous to meet her, as much as she heard Valeria wasn’t the warmest person ever but Crystal had a secret talent. Making everyone adore her personality was her thing, and she tried to believe that would be the case.

The flight there was calm even though Gigi was pretty tense, blaming it on motion sickness. Crystal made her listen to her 80’s playlist, and tried to talk her down, which seemed to work until they landed. Gigi held her hand from airport to her house in the car the Goode family sent for them, claiming her mother would ask, actually just wanting to hold Crystal’s hand.

The moment Crystal stepped of the car and saw someone taking her bag for her, leaving her with the art she wanted to gift only, Crystal knew it was going to be a tense weekend. Gigi’s mother Valeria greeted them at the front door, wearing more of a formal clothing rather than usual. Crystal thought how her mother would greet them, with pajamas on and zero care in the world.

Crystal stood back as Gigi hugged her mother and her little brother came down from the stairs as she waited. “And you must be…” The woman turned to her and Crystal could feel herself get smaller.

“Crystal,” she held her hand out for the woman to squeeze. She tried to put on her most enthusiastic voice, “Nice to meet you Mrs. Goode!”

“Call me Valeria,” she answered. “Is that a painting for us? Do you study arts like Vieve does?” She asked, looking at Crystal’s occupied hand and then extending her hand, asking for the painting. The blonde woman then teared the protective layer of paper off to take a half look at the painting.

It was the abstract lavender inspired painting, made for Gigi, that Crystal could see her mother hated, “Isn’t she amazing mom?” Gigi asked, grabbing Crystal’s hand to squeeze it.

“Yeah, sure,” Gigi’s mother fake smiled to Crystal, “Maria, take this to the basement please.” She played dirty, but Gigi stepped in.

“No, Maria, take it to my room.” Gigi said, getting the painting from her mom.

“But Vieve, your room’s color story…”

“Please, take it to my room,” Gigi smiled to the woman approaching them while handing her the painting. “Thank you.” Crystal knew the conversation wasn’t over there as both Gigi and her mom looked as stubborn as each other. Then Gigi turned to the teenager boy standing behind her mother, talking with a fake voice on almost, “Oliver! Won’t you give your big sister a hug?”

The dirty blonde boy hugged her with a groan, “Missed you V,” he mumbled and no one believed.

“Missed you too!” Gigi’s words were biting. “We’re both very tired mom. See you for breakfast?”

“I’ll have it prepared at the winter garden,” Valeria smiled to them. “Good night girls!”

They’ve wished good nights and climbed the stairs, Gigi not letting Crystal’s hand go as she guided her to a big, bland room. It was different than Gigi’s college one with almost no color in there, except for Crystal’s painting and her orange suitcase.

“Oh, this is…” Crystal started as Gigi closed the door behind them.

“Big? Boring? So not me?” she completed the sentence for her.

“All of the above,” Crystal turned to her. Even though it wasn’t the best way to be home, Crystal could still read in Gigi’s face that she was glad to be there. “I see what you’ve kept though.”

“Kept as in?”

“The tidiness, the non-randomness of everything... That is in your dorm room too,” Gigi smiled to the comment whilst rolling her suitcase to her dressing room as Crystal did the same.

“I’ll take a shower before sleeping, in the main bathroom, you can have one in mine,” Crystal turned to Gigi whilst pulling out her cozy pajamas, kneeled before her small suitcase. “You can’t wear those; you’ll have a heat stroke!” Gigi got up to open a drawer and pulled out two nightgowns as Crystal frowned.

“Geeg it’s winter,” she said as Gigi tried to hand one to her.

“You’ll get it! Mom likes it warm, real warm when she is sleeping.” Crystal watched Gigi pull another drawer to get white lace panties and no bra. “I’ll just leave it here; you can decide when you’re done. There is spare everything ready for you in the bathroom,”

Gigi was leaving the room when Crystal decided to tease her, “Wouldn’t your mom be suspicious about us not showering…” Gigi turned to her with one of her eyebrows raised. “Together?”

“Oh shut up!” she replied rolling her eyes, “Pervert,” she said to herself but with a grin on as she left.

Crystal took her time on the shower, mostly to detangle her curls and condition her hair, and could feel the weird vibes you usually feel in hotels. The feeling of not belonging, the unusualness. The moment she stepped out and went to get dressed was the moment she understood Gigi more as the house was warmer than before. She trusted Gigi so wore the white nightgown she hung for her over her favorite black lace pair, deep down wishing it wouldn’t go to waste and then cursing herself because a part of her still felt guilty.

Gigi was drying her hair in her vanity mirror with her lights dimmed when Crystal got in the room and sat on the big bed. The ginger girl smiled through the mirror and Crystal replied with a sleepy one, her eyes getting heavier after the shower. Gigi turned off the hair dryer and turned to Crystal.

“You should dry your hair, you’ll get a headache,” she said with a little frown.

“But I’m so sleepy mom,” Crystal joked before Gigi got up and pulled her from her wrist.

“Come on, I’ll do it.” She made the girl get up and settled her in on the short chair. Crystal groaned but didn’t have enough energy to protest and let the happy girl do it for her with a big smile on her face.

“Geege,” she called out and Gigi turned the drier off.

“Yeah?” Gigi asked as she examined the sleepy girl, trying to not take a look at how her tan contrasted with the white gown and how the lace bralette didn’t help her situation.

“Can you do it like this?” Crystal then gestured her to scrunch up her hair and Gigi obliged. She dried the rest of Crystal’s hair while humming a song softly but Crystal could barely hear it with her eyes even heavier from the heat of the hair drier.

“Done!” Gigi said and Crystal hummed as a response. The bed was looking like a cloud to her, calling her name to rest on it. “I love this sleepy Crystal, not talking at all,”

“I’ll talk to your mother if you annoy me,” she replied as Gigi put the drier away. Gigi rolled her eyes and approached her bed and Crystal did the same, not talking where to sleep this time.

The bed was big enough for them to sleep separately so they settled on the opposite sides at first, both of their heart beating with excitement like they haven’t sleep together before. “Good night Crys,” Gigi mumbled while looking directly at the ceiling.

“Night Gee,” Crystal turned to look at her under the dim light and examined her perfectly shaped face with a little smile. “Come here.” She whispered, extending an arm for Gigi. She turned her head to look at it, her hair falling on her face beautifully as she did. She got closer to Crystal and settled under her arm. Crystal pulled her even closer to her chest and placed her nose on her hair sleepily.

“Your boobs are squishy,” Gigi stated and Crystal giggled. The little giggle before her breathing heaved with sleep taking over was the most mellow sound Gigi has ever heard, and it felt like a soft lullaby as she cuddled more into the brunette.

Waking up at an early time that morning felt so easy to Crystal even though she loved sleeping. She woke up to Gigi’s alarm feeling calm and relaxed, partially owning it to the lavender scented hair still on her nose before Gigi got up to turn her alarm off.

“Welcome to your first day in hell,” Gigi spoke as she got rid of the covers on her. “At least we have amazing breakfast.”

“I make amazing pancakes but I feel like your mom would be more disgusted than impressed,” Crystal joked to keep her mind off of how much she wanted to give Gigi a good morning kiss. She watched as Gigi ran her hand through her new ginger hair, one of her straps loosely hanging in her arm while the other was still in place before getting up to get ready.

Gigi talked Crystal through the day she planned as they dressed up, hoping to at least make the trip enjoyable for her, except for the part her friends wanted to meet Crystal. Crystal felt like she could bear spending two days in a big mansion next to the girl she liked, but Gigi seemed too tense to make the thought believable.

“Geege, how did we meet?” Crystal asked to get their story straight in case her mother asked while Gigi was finishing her makeup.

“Matt cheated on me with you? Crystal you were the- Oh…” Gigi stopped realizing what Crystal was asking as Crystal giggled to how clueless she could be sometimes. She turned to her side to face the brunette sitting on her study table’s chair. “Let’s go with the friend of Jan storyline,”

“Yeah and when you guys broke up, I was there as a friend?” Crystal continued.

“Yeah, that sounds good.” Gigi smiled and got up, holding her hand out for Crystal to help her get up. “Let’s go, girlfriend,”

“Who calls their girlfriend ‘girlfriend’,” Crystal giggled, not letting go of Gigi’s hand as they made their way out of the room.

“I don’t know! I’ve never had one,” Gigi joked back and intertwined their hands. “Do you prefer Cryssie?”

“Only if you prefer Vieve,” Crystal deadpanned as Gigi quickly nodded a _‘no’_. She checked her phone while guiding Crystal in the big house, not wanting to fight with her mother over punctuality. Thankfully, they weren’t late, but her mother sitting on the end of the table still looked tense.

The breakfast wasn’t nearly as bad as it could’ve gone. Gigi’s mother asked some questions and the girls went over what they agreed on the room, going back and forth with each other easily. It was the personal questions that scared Crystal, which came soon over coffee.

“So, Crystal,” Valeria started, making Crystal turn to her with a kind smile. “What does your parents do?”

“I’m the daughter of a single mother, actually,” Crystal answered with a patient smile, “My mom runs her own bakery.”

The woman hummed in a belittling tone, “And you study fine arts? Is it hard for a single mother to send you to college for…”

“Mom!” Gigi warned her mother, sensing the rude comment.

“No, it’s okay G,” Crystal reassured her and then felt Gigi’s leg’s warmth on hers, providing contact to encourage, “She is very successful at her job, and I sell some of my pieces too. Thankfully, we can afford my education.”

Valeria didn’t even seem to care about the answer and instead picked her phone up to check the time. “I will be out for a few hours,” she started as Gigi brushed Crystal’s leg with hers. “You girls should enjoy the house; I know it’s cold out but you can show your girlfriend around maybe V?”

“Actually, Rosy and Rubber wanted to stop by.” Gigi talked, looking to Crystal rather than her mother and Valeria frowned to that.

“Great! I’m sure they’ll love you!” Crystal didn’t believe a word of it, “See you girls tonight.” The blonde woman left, leaving the girls alone finally.

“Rubber?” Crystal asked, her mind on their legs still touching under the table.

“Don’t even ask,” Gigi said with a giggle. “Okay, quick information about the girls. They are not like the three J’s, at all,”

“Are you always the different initial in your friend groups?” Gigi laughed at that, not realizing it before.

“Baby, you know I’m one of a kind! But we actually have a fourth one, who is modelling who knows where right now,” she joked with her beautiful smile on. “Think of it like this: Rosy is Karen and Rubber is Regina.”

“Makes sense, and who were you?”

“The one popular girl everyone loves but still hangs out with the mean ones? Is that a character?” Gigi asked while tucking her blonde strand behind her ear. “Symone is the smart and beautiful one, the whole thing.”

“How do you even know everyone loved you?” Crystal tried to tease Gigi by implying she was one of them but Gigi didn’t acknowledge it at all.

“How can you not?” she answered with a cocky smile. Then she checked her phone for the time, “We have just over an hour for ourselves, want to see the garden?”

“Sure!” Crystal answered, actually excited to see where Gigi grew up and talked so much about. Gigi then asked for their jackets and for someone to prepare Nancy for a walk. It was absurd to Crystal how she almost never did anything for herself.

In five minutes they were at the back of the house in a garden that was more like a field with a little dog who had the cutest sweater on. Gigi held the leash in her left hand and reached for Crystal’s one with her right one.

“Sorry, everyone is a spy on this house,” Gigi giggled as Crystal’s hand warmed hers. “The garden is awesome but there is this little lake just outside our land, you’ll love it,”

“This place is already so beautiful, I can’t imagine how good it would be in spring-time,” Crystal exclaimed as they were passing a stone path. Gigi talked without thinking about it first.

“Well, you can always come see it,” Crystal turned her head to examine the taller girl, and Gigi turned to look at her with a smile. “What? We’re already too deep in this, you have to marry me now,” she tried to bounce back from showing how she actually wanted Crystal in her life for a long while with joking.

Crystal laughed to the joke Gigi told nervously, “I’ll let you know in the spring if the garden is worth the marriage.”

Gigi grinned before opening a small gate, leading to the said lake with a little pier on it. They were away from the house now, but their hands were still together. Gigi stepped in the wooden pier first, Crystal worriedly followed her. They stopped at the end to lean on the bars of it and Gigi shortened Nancy’s leash to keep her safe. Crystal watched her surrounding as Gigi watched her, and took in all the glory of the tall trees around them, mirroring on the calm lake.

“This is where Matt kissed me first, back when I was 15,” Gigi said, smiling to the memory of the little children they were.

“Lucky you, he kissed me in a bathroom!” Gigi laughed to that before getting quiet, thinking about the silly way life decided to bring the brunette to her. The last thing she expected was to like the girl her boyfriend cheated on her with, let alone bringing her home, one way or another, and standing where it started with the said boyfriend.

“It’s so beautiful,” Crystal broke the silence and said in an almost whispering tone before turning to Gigi who had a little smile on her face.

“Yeah, it is,” she whispered back, not taking her ice-blue eyes from Crystals’.

“You’re not even looking at it,” Crystal giggled as she tugged on their hands, pulling Gigi close.

“I’ve seen this place in every single season throughout the years, enjoyed it in every way possible. There is something else I want to adore at the moment.”

Crystal turned back to the scenery, much to Gigi’s disappointment, “It looks like a painting come to life,” she turned to the taller girl again and her free hand reached up to find Gigi’s sharp chin, ready to guide her in a kiss. “but I have real art standing right beside me.”

Gigi’s chest felt tightened, finally feeling like it was their time. Finally, they were left all alone, and finally she was about to actually enjoy a kiss from Crystal. It wasn’t what she intended with the trip or the walk, but she trusted Crystal to not lead her in a wrong time after all the attempts. Right then she felt the need to relax her hand, forgetting about the leash and Nancy started running away in full speed.

The girls looked at each other and panicked for a second before Crystal realized Nancy was running to opposite of the house and started running behind her. It all felt like slow motion to Gigi for a moment. She shook herself off before following them, calling Nancy out and hoping she would stop.

Crystal could catch Nancy right before she went into the woods. She threw herself on the ground in an attempt to catch her leash and succeeded, stopping the little energetic dog but getting mud all over her pants. Then she felt Gigi kneel right beside her, not caring about the dirt at all.

“How could you run so fast with your little legs?! You scared me so much,” she said, hugging her dirty dog with teary eyes. “Crystal, thank you so much, I don’t know how I could catch up on her after I froze like that.”

Crystal pulled Gigi in a hug as she sniffled, also hugging Nancy in the way, “It’s okay! She is okay!” She pulled away to take a look at Nancy, who just looked happy with no trace of guilt. “Look at her, she was just probably bored of your house!”

Gigi giggled as she got up and lent a hand to Crystal, who was so much dirtier than herself. “We should wash you with a hose, next to Nancy.”

“I don’t believe a word of that,” Crystal said while getting up, “I’m sure she gets the best dog baths ever.”

“Nothing but the best for my baby!” Their hands stayed together and it felt natural to them. This time Crystal was the one to hold Nancy’s leash as they walked back to the house.

“Except for when you almost lose her?” Crystal teased and Gigi hit her arm lightly, “Too soon?”

“I’m so close to leaving you where you belong, in the mud,” Crystal giggled whilst Gigi opened the door again for them.

“Well gold is still gold even when they are dipped in the mud,” Gigi looked at her confused before laughing so hard.

“I’m like ninety percent sure that’s not how that saying goes!” Crystal laughed with her, pulling her closer by tugging on the intertwined hands again.

“Good thing we are both not very smart,” Gigi pulled Crystal in a half hug by placing her arm on Crystal’s waist, holding her over the jacket and walking very close to each other. “I can’t believe she sabotaged us. She really must be jealous!”

Gigi turned to Crystal to see her expression, not expecting her to acknowledge the situation, “Oh my god, it all makes sense now! She loved Matt!”

Crystal only laughed as they were not back at the house. The girls were greeted by a shocked maid on the back door and Crystal realized there how much calmer Gigi was back at home, seeing the help so shocked by a little mess. Crystal handed Nancy to her and watched her disappear in a long corridor, being taken to the best dog bath as Crystal put it.

They walked in the main area of the house, Gigi’s hand still in Crystal’s waist as they giggled together whilst Gigi teased Crystal about how she even had mud in her hair. Crystal was looking at Gigi when she froze, seeing the people coming in the front door.

“Vieve?” The blonde girl with plump, probably made, lips spoke first. She was just as shocked as the maid. “Genevieve Goode getting dirty?! I would never believe it in a million years if I haven’t seen myself!”

Gigi quickly walked up to them and hugged the girls with a big smile on her face. “I missed you so much!” she told as she hugged who Crystal assumed was Rosy. “Rubber, this is Crystal,” she gestured towards the brunette waiting a step beside her. Crystal offered her a hand but Rubber acted like she didn’t see it which Crystal was taken back by. “And this is Rosy!” Rosy on the other hand embraced Crystal in a tight hug to greet.

“It’s so nice to meet you guys,” Crystal still smiled to both of them.

“You guys get in; you know where to go anyways. I’ll be right back after I change,” Gigi told them with a smile that got erased as soon as Rubber turned around. They went to her room without saying a word, Gigi getting a lot tenser now.

“Are you okay?” Crystal asked as Gigi approached her dressing room quickly and getting rid of her dirty clothes.

“Yeah, just… Nervous.” She didn’t confess she was nervous for Crystal and how they would act towards her. She couldn’t care to mind being almost naked in front of Crystal then, “I already miss Symone.”

“Geege, don’t be silly,” Crystal walked up to her as she slipped herself in long, silk dress over a turtleneck. “I don’t know Symone but I feel like she would kick your ass if you acted all weird like they aren’t your friends.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Gigi said while fixing her hair. “It’s just that… It has been a while, and they all love Matt.”

“I’m more lovable!” Gigi smiled nervously, not so sure about what Rubber would think about that. Gigi wasn’t a girl that needed her friend’s validations but was afraid it would bother Crystal, who was doing her a huge favor even just by being there already. “Leave already! I’m just going to take a quick shower and be right there, okay?”

“Thought you would never say that,” Gigi tried to joke as she left the room. Crystal was left confused to the sudden change in Gigi’s mood, but tried not to mind it and focus on the positives. She almost kissed Gigi without the familiar guilt in her gut, and that was a positive for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> making up for keeping crygi away for chapters by 4,5k words of sweetness lol  
> symone is not here bc i couldn't bring myself to write her as a bitch, i love her way too much for that.........


	19. nineteen

Crystal took the shortest shower of her life, trying to be there for nervous Gigi as quick as possible. She dressed in black satin top over a white turtleneck paired with straight legged jeans, wanting to match Gigi and look good for her friends. She put her long hair in a braid while it was still damp and left to find the girls. A maid showed her the way where she found them sitting in a lounge like area and drinking.

“Hey,” she greeted while entering. Gigi turned to her with a beautiful smile on her face and her eyes adoring as always. The girls greeted her back as she settled on the couch next to her _“girlfriend.”_

Gigi leaned in to leave a kiss on Crystal’s cheek to make themselves believable, “Hi baby,” she whispered before pulling away with a frown. “Is your hair damp again?”

Rubber cut off before Crystal could answer, “Crystal! We were just talking about you,”

“Hm?” she asked, looking at Gigi with a playful smile. “What about me?”

“About how we met,” Gigi said but she was looking away this time.

“It’s really not that much of a story, a friend of a friend was having a hard time and I offered help,” Crystal reached for Gigi’s hand.

“And the real one?” Rosy asked from where she was sitting. “I don’t know if you realized, but even I did, Vieve flushes so hard when she lies,”

Rubber nudged Rosy, “Don’t out her to her girlfriend!”

“I think she is already out!” Rosy joked and all of them giggled. “Spill, Vieve, come on,”

“Okay!” Gigi said with her hands put up in air in a defense mode. “I caught Matt and Crys kissing in a bathroom,”

Both of the girls froze. Gigi nervously bite on her bottom lip, trying to understand the girls as Crystal furrowed her eyebrows with the same old thing coming up again. “Matt did what?” Rubber asked finally.

“Can we get something harder?” Gigi asked towards the door and a maid arrived quickly with a new bottle. She poured the new drink and left. Gigi took a sip before continuing her story. “Yeah, Matt did that. I caught him, like, two times? But I’m pretty sure there was more.”

“But why?” Rosy asked, grabbing the arms of her chair. Crystal took a look at Gigi to see her nervously shake her leg up and down, this obviously wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have that day.

“Geege, you don’t have to,” Crystal assured her, which Gigi was grateful for. She squeezed her hand again, earning a little small smile. Gigi needed a reminder that there was more to her life than her hometown now, and Crystal was a perfect one.

“Remember when I got drunk in my goodbye party and talked about how I didn’t love him like I used to? Apparently, he knew and even felt the same, and did it to make me breakup with him.” Gigi explained simply.

“Well you should’ve broke up with him that night, I can’t blame him,” Rubber spoke and Gigi felt the hand cupping hers get tense with anger.

“You know I couldn’t. Mom doesn’t even think cheating is enough of a reason to breakup, she would never accept that,” Gigi defended herself as Rosy looked at her with furrowed eyebrows.

“I feel like there is more to that story,” she started and Crystal rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, the part where he didn’t have enough balls to breakup with Gee himself?” Crystal’s bold choice of words made Rosy gasp.

“Watch your words, Crystal,” Rubber came to Rosy’s help and warned, “Matt is still our friend.”

“Yeah, well, your friend su-“ Gigi cut Crystal off immediately.

“Okay, that’s enough,” she raised her glass as Rubber and Crystal stared into each other’s eyes still mad. “To new beginnings,”

Crystal downed her drink at once as the others only took a sip. It was barely the starting of their conversation, and the sun was barely settling down but the defense walls Gigi’s friends have was fully up against her already.

The drinks they’ve had and the dinner they’ve ate together all went with Rubber and Crystal’s stinging comments to each other, obviously not liking one another as Gigi tried to keep the conversation up lifted. By the time it was late and the girls decided to leave, Crystal was sure she hated Rubber and her snarky comments and all of her belittling.

Gigi hugged Rosy first when they were at the front door as a car waited for them. They’ve said their goodbyes and Rosy went to hug Crystal, telling her how nice it was to spend time with her. Crystal pulled off from the hug with a smile on just a moment before her face turned sour as she faced Rubber.

“Nice meeting you,” Rubber mumbled under her breath.

“You too,” Crystal told, not even attempting to lie properly.

“Love you girls! Text me when you get home, ‘kay?” Gigi told as she closed the door behind the girls. Her smile erased from her face the second she closed it and she went right up to her room without acknowledging Crystal.

Crystal stood in her place, surprised with Gigi for a second before following her to her room. She heard the shower starting as she entered the room and found Gigi’s dress on the floor next to her thrown heels. She went ahead and knocked on the bathroom’s door.

“Geeg, is everything okay?” Crystal talked to the door but no answer came from inside. She thought Gigi probably couldn’t hear her so went ahead and changed her clothes, wearing the nightgown once again.

Crystal was sitting on the bed with her legs crossed when Gigi finally left her dressing room to sit on her vanity table madly, pulling out the hair drier like it was her enemy. Crystal frowned and looked at her reflection, examined her perfect eyebrows furrowed and her delicate fingers running through her hair as she dried it.

The brunette just thought it was because of the tenseness of the day, got up and walked over to her to give her a massage to help her relax. Gigi swatted her hand the second she put it on her neck and turned to Crystal in just as a swift motion.

“Don’t touch me!” she exclaimed and Crystal took a step back.

“What the fuck, Gee?” Gigi put the drier down with a humorless chuckle before getting up to stand over the brunette.

“No, what the fuck, Crystal?” she asked, “What the fuck was all of that with Rubber?”

“Are you mad at me because I defended you?” Crystal asked surprised, thinking she did what needed to be done.

“I don’t need defense,” Gigi put her pointer finger up to count. “That was not defending me, that was straight up arguing with her.”

“She shouldn’t have so wrong opinions if she didn’t want to argue!” Gigi looked away from Crystal with the same dry chuckle.

“She is not just my friend! She is also his friend, and she did exactly what you tried to do with me.”

“I’m not excusing your problematic behavior, unlike Rubber with Matt!” Crystal walked closer to Gigi and stood sure before her, looking right into her pale blue eyes.

“I don’t care what she did! I don’t need their validation; we don’t have to agree on everything. They are still my friends!” Gigi was too stubborn to let it go, but so was Crystal.

“This is not seeking validation!” Crystal stopped herself from stomping like a child in the middle of the sentence and instead opted for tightening her fists. “She doesn’t have to agree with Matt to be his friend! How about that?”

“Crystal, I do not care! Simple. I don’t care.” Gigi was mad at Crystal, sure, but she also couldn’t overlook how hot she looked with anger flush on her face and her lips so pink. “You didn’t need to be so rude.” The last sentence came out as a mumble as Gigi got carried away with how close they were and how their angry, heaved breathings were mixed with one another’s.

“Oh you want to kiss me _so bad,_ ” Crystal told suddenly, her expression still the same. Gigi pulled a little bit away for a second, examining the brunette’s face to understand if she is joking. She clashed their lips when she determined she wasn’t, kissing her hungry whilst wrapping her arm around Crystal’s waist, making the nightgown on her rid up.

Crystal wrapped her arms around the taller girl’s neck as their bodies grinded on each other, deepening the kiss by tilting her head slightly and kissing her with more passionate than she ever had for anyone before. Gigi’s other hand found Crystal’s now exposed ass and squeezes it, making a little moan escape her lips.

“You don’t know how much I’ve waited to do that,” Gigi whispered, pulling slightly away and making Crystal grin before kissing her again. She pushed the shorter girl back until the back of her knees meets with the bed whilst her hand goes discovering her body for a small second, then lifted her small body to place her on the bed and taking Crystal by surprise with it.

Crystal gasped to being lifted as Gigi positioned herself in between her legs, keeping them open with both of her hands running on her inner thighs. She leaned down to kiss Crystal’s neck while tugging on her nightgown, making her lift up and pulling away to take it off. She went back to the tan neck to leave little red marks with her teeth and running her tongue over the pulse points as Crystal breathed shakily under her, running her hands all over Gigi’s back.

Gigi went further down, leaving a trail of kisses down to her exposed color bones and leaving a little mark there all whilst one of her hands still in Crystal’s inner thigh, brushing lightly with her thumb. She kissed right in between Crystal’s perky breasts before pulling away to gaze at her hardened nipples and her piercing.

Crystal’s breath was taken away with Gigi doing the same teeth licking she did in her devil costume, looking her right in the eye, before going in and putting the pierced nipple in her mouth as her hand cupped the other breast and her fingers run over her nipple. Crystal moaned and arched her back to try and get more of Gigi, which she happily gave her with her tongue swirling around her nipple and leaving rough bruises here and there. She knew she shouldn’t be leaving marks, and it was not like her usual self but she wanted to leave something to linger on Crystal.

She gave the other breast just as much attention, but this time her hand on Crystal’s inner thigh glided down and she placed her thumb over Crystal’s soaked lace panties, slightly pushing to give her a little tease. Crystal moaned with her thrown a little back, one of her hands locked on Gigi’s hair and the other gripping on the bed.

She ran both of her hands through Crystal’s curves, following the trail of kisses she was leaving on her stomach, and stopped when she finally reached the white lace contrasting beautifully on Crystal’s tan skin. She placed her hands on Crystal’s hips, almost gripping on her ass as she tugged on the underwear with her teeth, slipping it away and completing taking it of with a hand.

She started with a single tongue flick as Crystal even moaned to that, longing for more, which she received soon with Gigi sucking on her folds and entering her with her tongue. The curly girl moaning under her touch gave even more courage to Gigi, she flipped her hair to one side and gazed at Crystal moaning as her thumb stroked on her clit. She went back in, her back arched like the girl under her to give her a view and glided two fingers in her easily with how wet she was.

Gigi rid her with two of her fingers with a fast pace until Crystal’s breath was so shaky while moaning her name. She could feel the muscles wrapped around her fingers get tenser, knowing the girl was close. Gigi sucked on her clit and made her cum with a high-pitched sound filling her room, a sound she wanted to make Crystal make a long time ago. She pulled her fingers, slightly brushing over Crystal’s now sensitive wetness before sliding herself over her and letting herself down next to the girl still laying with her eyes closed and her little curls stuck on her sweaty forehead.

Crystal opened her eyes, feeling Gigi now laying next to her and watch over her, and leaned up to give her a long kiss and getting a taste of herself along the way.

“You really do have afterglow,” Gigi whispered as she pulled away and made Crystal giggle.

“Dahlia would call me a goddess during sex,” she said before weighing it. Gigi didn’t mind it, as by then she knew Crystal was now her’s only.

“You’re always a goddess.” Crystal looked up to her with her eyes glistening, glad that they were both over that part of their relationship now. She placed herself on Gigi’s chest to give both of them a second to rest and listened to her heartbeat whilst her time there. “I’m taking you on a date tomorrow.”

Crystal raised her head and her nose touched Gigi’s jaw, “Don’t I get a say in this?” she giggled to her and Gigi shivered with the hot breath making contact with her skin.

“No, you don’t,” she teased the stubborn brunette who hated when others made choices for her. “I’ll show you around the town and kiss you whenever I want and not just crave you. I’ll hold your hand, swirl you around in a little dance, and give you little forehead kisses. I want to be the one to adore you out and about.”

Crystal’s reached further up to leave a kiss on Gigi’s chin, “I would love that, Gee,” she said and Gigi smiled in serenity. “But,” Crystal lifted herself up to position herself over the ginger girl, leaning in close to her face as Gigi’s hands found her lower back and rested there, “I want to return a favor first.”

Gigi grinned as Crystal kissed her, and her heart finally felt whole as her hands ran through the curly hair and felt every inch of the body she wanted to for so long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BABY WE MADE IT!  
> so after my reputation with breakup over sex, i present you a more normal version of it, asking on a date over sex hahaha  
> hope you like this anddd see you next time<3333  
> okay, one last thing, i'm kind of on a roll with smut rn so go read heartattack and vine if you want to see more, k byeee


	20. twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to match the spirit of tog, i absolutely did not proof read once again

Crystal ran her slender fingers through the ginger locks spread in her lap, looking at the girl peacefully reading her book with loving eyes.

It was a few months into their relationship, finally with everyone out of the equation and Gigi and herself only. It all seemed right, even too good to be true sometimes. Whenever the brunette was with the ginger haired girl she could feel her heart thumping in her chest like it was the first time they locked eyes. That day in the field was no exception. Spending some alone time together, reading in each other’s presence, any little thing they’ve done together felt like a dream come true.

Gigi met her ice blue eyes with the loving brown ones, smiling as she examined the brunette’s face. All Crystal wanted to do was to tell the girl how much she loved her, and how she wanted her in her life forever, but the moment passed with the ginger haired girl jerking an eyebrow up playfully. The brunette leaned in to leave a kiss on the plump lips she adored; acting like it was her plan all along.

“What was that for?” her girlfriend asked as they pulled away, a beautiful smile spread on her face. The brunette shrugged.

Gigi turned back to her book as her girlfriend kept caressing her hair; her own books in her other hand as she did so. Crystal couldn’t focus on the words entirely as she thought to herself now they had all the time in the world. It was okay to take their time, deep down she knew how the ginger haired girl felt exactly the same.

Crystal closed the bathroom door as Gigi turned her around in a swift motion, kissing her in between giggles as she locked the door barely. The ginger haired girl pushed Crystal towards the door, kissing her hungry and sloppy with her tipsy state of mind. She wrapped her arm around the petite waist, pulling her even closer as her lips traced down the tan neck. She left a couple of marks before hooking her finger on the thin strap of the dress, pulling it down to leave kisses on the girl’s shoulder.

The brunette groaned under the teasing kisses of her girlfriend, pulling her by her chin to get her into another heated kiss. Gigi obliged, kissing her back as the shorter girl pushed her back to the counter space. Crystal tried to get her to sit on there but the ginger haired girl didn’t let her, instead she grabbed the shorter girl by her bottom as she placed her there. Drunk Crystal let out a little scream as her girlfriend laughed, wrapping her legs around the taller girl as she kissed her collarbones.

Crystal’s eyes widened for a second as her girlfriend found her chest, memories coming back to her as her hand caressed the milky thighs. “Gee!” she exclaimed loudly, making Gigi pull away to look at her with questioning eyes.

“What is it now?” she asked playfully.

“Last time I kissed someone in this bathroom the most beautiful girl caught me in the middle of it,” she said through giggles, remembering how the house they’ve been in was the house she met her girlfriend in the most absurd way.

Gigi let out a little laugh, “Now I remember!” she giggled close to the brunette’s face, their breathings mixed as they spoke. “I can’t believe I’m grateful someone cheated on me.”

“I can’t believe I’m grateful someone cheated on you,” Crystal left a soft peck on the red painted lips; “Now Miss Mixed Feelings is all mine.”

The ginger haired girl giggled as her slender fingers found the chin of the brunette, “No mixed feelings now,” she said before running her thumb over the swollen lips like she did the first time they’ve kissed. Crystal closed her eyes with the warmth of the moment as Gigi whispered to her, “Crys, baby… I love you,” she said slowly. Crystal chuckled as she opened her eyes, looking deep into the blue ones she adored.

Hearing the words felt good, but it wasn’t as good as the gut feeling she had for a long while. She knew she was loved, she could feel it in every touch, every kiss. Hearing it and confirming furthermore gave the brunette butterflies in her stomach, but she knew it for a while by then anyways. 

“I love you Gee,” she said before leaving another soft kiss. They shared a tender moment before Crystal cut it with a joke, “Want to go to where you kissed me first next time?” she asked giggling as she pulled away.

“Will you freak out again?” Gigi joked back, looking at her with loving eyes as she did. 

It felt easy with Crystal, it felt natural. Holding her hand gave her a feeling of ‘I could do anything’ that she wouldn’t change for anything else in the world. Even fighting over silly little things was adorable with her; seeing how unnecessarily angry her flushed little face would get over a fight about pizza toppings, only making the ginger haired girl want to kiss her stubborn face. 

“Baby I freak out every time I think about your beautiful lips on me,” another kiss, shared with passion growing more between them before Crystal pulled away with a bright look on her face like she invented something, “You know what we should do?”

“Kiss properly?” Gigi asked as she pulled in to kiss her again, but Crystal didn’t let her for too long again, “Crys…” she said exhausted as her eyes lingered on the plump and soft pink lips.

“Let’s get tattoos!” she said like it was a big revelation and Gigi rolled her eyes, “I’m serious! Let’s go get tattoos!”

“Did you eat today? You didn’t drink that-”

The brunette cut her off with a little slap on her arm, “I’m not drunk! Come on Gee, pretty please?” She looked up to her girlfriend with big eyes that she knew she couldn’t resist. Gigi let out an exhausted breath as Crystal observed her to try and understand her answer.

“You know I can’t say no to you and you’re abusing that fact!” she fake protested as the brunette clapped excitedly. For Gigi, seeing her happy was worth every spontaneous behavior she wasn’t used to. “Okay, we’ll do it… After this…” With that, she went back to giving soft kisses to the tan skin of her girlfriend. 

Minutes after the moment they shared in a random house party, they were hand in hand, out in the cold before a tattoo shop Crystal knew and got her nipple piercing on. The brunette pulled her girlfriend into the calm shop with only two people inside, Gigi realizing this was possibly an expected outcome on Saturday nights for the people working there.

Crystal greeted the artists and asked if it was okay to draw their own tattoos. When she got a confirmation, she turned to her girlfriend to ask, “Do you trust me?”

“Usually?” Gigi said with a high, unsure tone like Crystal’s, which made them giggle. “What are you planning, you little devil?”

“I’m going to draw you a tattoo and you will draw me one,” Crystal explained with her big eyes on her girlfriend again. 

Gigi found the idea too cute to decline, so she went with it. The brunette wanted it to be a surprise, so she pulled one of the artists to the side as she prepared a little doodle. Gigi’s eyes locked on the brunette as she thought about what to get her tattooed, Crystal sending her a wink in the quick second she looked up. She remembered the accidental costume matching they’ve had on Halloween then and the moment they locked eyes on the party, giving her a quick idea for a cute little tattoo to be remembered by. 

After they were done with the sketches, the artists sat the girls next to one another in chairs as their hands found each other easily to intertwine their fingers. Gigi asked a question to pass time as they prepared, “Do you guys get… drunk girls coming in late often?” she asked, taking a little break to word it correctly. 

The girl in her side giggled, “All the time,” she said to her. “Now look the other way, your girlfriend begged me to hide this from you.” Crystal giggled from her other side as Gigi turned to lock eyes with her. 

It didn’t take long for the artists to be done with how easy each design was, leaving the two alone for a second as they went to the back room for _‘something’_ but Gigi felt like they just wanted to give them privacy for a moment. 

“Can I see now?” Crystal asked impatiently, her eyes locked on the one in Gigi’s arm as she spoke. She looked proud of herself, which got Gigi even more curious.

“Okay, on the count of three,” Gigi answered with a sweet smile on her face. She counted back for both of them and they both looked down on their own arms at the same time. Gigi was faced with red colored, doodle like devil horns; realizing their minds worked the same again as she turned to Crystal laughing. The brunette pulled her eyes away from her devil tail tattoo, giggling before she pulled her girlfriend close. “Did we just do it again?”

“They’re going to tease us so bad,” Gigi giggled, meaning all of their friends.

Crystal laughed about the thought, “I just know Rock won’t let it go for months.”

The brunette knew she couldn’t be happier than she was in that tattoo shop in the middle of the night. Kind of drunk with her girlfriend’s hand in hers, lost in her blue eyes as they matched on accident again. She felt content as she reached for a kiss; a long one to be exact, that would lead to many more as years rolled by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes this took me months, and most of the people probably doesn't remember anything about this fic but hey, it's done finally! tog isn't what got me back to writing but it sure felt like it, and even though reading back cringes me so bad (fr i can't bring myself to read more than a chap, it's just so bad.......) i finished it! mostly bc dgfc (anna i mean) bullied me to, but still!  
> soooo see you in new works? hopefully?

**Author's Note:**

> So,,,,, hi! Quarantine is really getting to me with all the fanfiction writing I want to do. I really hope you like this, criticism and comments are appreciated here! Also English isn't my first language, if you see something weird please notify me lol  
> If you read "love yourself like i love you", this one is a bit different, more mature and more like me in a way so there is that!
> 
> Make sure to leave a comment, see you next time<33


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